If this is your first foray into online dating, or you’ve been out of the dating game for a little while, you’re probably due a crash course on writing that first message to get in contact with someone you want to get to know better! You don’t want to fall into the instantly-boring ‘hi’ camp, but neither do you want to be any part of the ‘I have nothing better to do’ 2,000 word essay club. Here’s how to avoid the common mistakes and put you on the right path to crafting that perfect first email on your online dating journey.

1. Review your own profile

No matter how wonderfully written your first message, it simply will not be well received unless you have a profile to backup your words. The first message is a signal to your recipient to “please look at my profile!” Having a complete online dating profile (multiple pictures, biography, interests etc.) is what will give whatever you decide to write credence. A good profile begs viewers to best dating site first messages to your messages with interesting conversation.

2. Check out your date’s profile thoroughly

Read their profile closely and pick out an interesting point about them. Often, people purposefully include things or activities they’re passionate about, as these are the things they’re most comfortable talking about. Do they have a cute labrador? Where are they sailing that boat? Is that a prize they’ve won?

3. Find an original, open-ended question to ask

Once you’ve identified an interesting topic, best dating site first messages, simply think of an open question to ask them on the subject – “Hi Mark, how was studying in Birmingham? I used to live there in the 90s too.” An open question is one that invites a conversation rather than a simple “yes” or “no”, which as dating is all about finding more about a person, and if you’d like to get to know them better, is crucial!

4. Don’t panic if you think your question isn’t the best that ever was

On an online dating site, best dating site first messages, we all go through the same process of coming up withsomething to say. Everyone knows it’s not always easy, so don’t worry if you think your initial first message isn’t a soul searching, deeply meaningful enquiry – all you’re initially trying to do is get the conversation going, best dating site first messages, and the person you’re messaging knows that too.

5, best dating site first messages. Watch your word count

The key dating sites for billionaires to be brief but interesting enough to warrant a checking out of your profile, and easy to respond to. You shouldn’t spend more than a minute or two writing that first message. “Hi Lucy, that’s an uncommonly cute kitten you’ve got sitting on the chair next to you! What’s her name?” works far best dating site first messages than a wall of text your recipient probably won’t have time to read. Ultimately, you don’t know enough about your recipient yet, or if they’re interested in you, so don’t waste effort writing lengthy intros; that can come later.

6. Be personal

If you follow the steps above, best dating site first messages, you’re going to be writing a personal email, not sending a generic “Hey, what’s up?” At the very least, use your recipients name in your first message to show you’ve at least read that far into their profile, and you’re not messaging every Tom, Dick or Harry, who you might not even really be interested in. On a dating site remember that you want to a dating site as best as possible to stand out – in the right way – from the crowd.

7.Don’t just tell them how good looking they are

If you’re messaging someone, or they’re messaging you, both parties are almost certainly already attracted to each other in some best dating site first messages, and you both know that. A compliment too soon doesn’t come off top free dating sims especially sincere, so save those for later messages or after a date or two. If you do compliment someone, make sure you cleverly integrate the comment into something they can easily respond to so you don’t leave them thinking ‘uh…thanks?”Spell check all your messages

Before you hit send, always check your messages for any spelling or grammatical errors. A sloppy first message indicates you’re probably too lazy to even bother writing to them, let alone actually be genuinely interested in them.

8. Be confident

Lots of singles over 50 on the dating scene might have been out of the dating game for some time, best dating site first messages, but that isn’t an excuse to have no confidence in your first message. Opening with “I’m not very good at this…” or “If I’m not for you that’s fine…” invites your recipient to immediately reject you before single dating websites free even best free german dating sites a chance to show your true colours.

Read more expert dating tips or start your dating journey today!

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This is a great message for three reasons:

1) Miles leads with a compliment to my personality, rather than my face. This makes me open to what he’ll say next, because he’s showing me he’s different than those other guys.

2) He asks me a question based on a specific detail in my profile, and follows up with another broader question (bonus!).  This is excellent because Miles:

a) proves he read my profile,
b) starts a conversation about stuff we share in common,
c) reinforces further that he’s interested in my thoughts, not just my looks, by asking more about the stuff I’m interested in.

3) Miles shows some of his own personality by asking about my fixer-upper house.  I can tell he’s excited about the same stuff I am, best dating site first messages, which makes me excited to talk to him.

This is fuckin’ gold, Miles!

3. Start a conversation.

This might seem obvious to you and Miles, but so many guys don’t know HOW to do this!  They ask really general questions, best dating site first messages, like, “How’s your weekend going?” or “What’s up?”

These messages are the worst. 

While “How are you?” is a question, it doesn’t actually start a conversation.  I can reply, “Good. How are you?” but then we’re back where we started.  Pointless.  I never reply to these messages because they bug the shit out of me.

If you read a girl’s profile and can’t think of a question to ask her based on the information there, don’t message her at all.

A great first message jumps past pointless questions and right into specific questions.  The best questions you can ask have “long-game.”  That’s why it works so well to ask a girl about something you have in common.  When you bring up a topic you both like, you’ll both have lots to say about it, which paves the way for a longer conversation.

For example: say you and a girl are both snowboarders.  You could easily lead by asking her the question: “Where’s your favorite spot to snowboard around here?”  After she answers that, you’re probably also interested in asking how long she’s been snowboarding, what gear she likes, and if she has any upcoming trips planned.

Because you opened with a topic she’s interested in, too, she’ll probably ask you those questions back – plus best dating site first messages of her own.

That’s a lot to talk about, and that’s long-game.

To achieve this, you have to ask best dating site first messages questions.  The questions are the gas.  Making a statement, best dating site first messages, like, “I like snowboarding, too,” doesn’t move the conversation forward.

4. Keep it simple.

As a rule of thumb, ask one or two questions.  Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics.  This is overwhelming to girls.  And it’s time-consuming to answer ten questions!

Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for us to respond quickly because we’re interested.  Online dating is awesome because a girl’s profile is one big list of conversation topics.  Just pick one detail you think is cool, or you’re genuinely curious about, and ask her about it.

This guy does a nice job asking an easy question based on stuff we both like:

You found them! You’ve found the perfect man or woman (at least based on their profile), and you’re ready to get in touch with them and start the conversation. But, what do you write? What do you say? How do you show interest without sounding like a weirdo? Knowing what to say when you send the first online dating message can seem tough.

But, we’re here to help! Not all heroes wear capes, right? In this guide, we’re going to walk you through everything you need to know to craft the perfect first message that is going to get your message across clearly and help you to get the most responses from that guy or girl you’re interested in.

Before We Go Any Further

Before we talk about the specifics of sending that perfect first message, we need to make sure you’ve got something else in check. We’re talking about your online dating profile. You could send the most perfect first message to your love interest, but if you’re dating profile is incomplete, or not up to par, they’re going to just delete your message. You see, the first thing that most people do after they receive a message is not respond. They look at your profile, best dating site first messages. THEN if they like what they see, they’ll respond to your message.

So, before you even start tackling that first message, you need to make sure that your online dating profile is all squared away. Not sure what to do? Don’t worry, we got you covered there as well. Our guide to how to write the perfect online dating profile will show you everything you need to know to make sure you’re all squared away.  Once you’re all set, we can start worrying about how to craft that perfect first message.

The Simple Solution of What to Say In Your First Best dating site first messages are a million ways to skin a cat…That’s a cheesy phrase that some people say (mostly people in the military) that just means there are a lot of different methods that can work and accomplish the same job. Yes, there are a ton of different first messages that you can send that will work great, but we want best dating site first messages give you a foolproof formula to get it done right.

Here’s the formula:

Greeting + Thing that shows you read their lesbian dating chat free + Something About You + Open ended question = Perfect first dating message

Here’s an example and then we will break it down piece by piece.

Hey! I dating my daughter online that you like to volunteer with dogs. I have a terrier named Rocket who is my best friend. Have you always had dogs?

That is a PERFECT first message. It shows that you’re friendly, actually read through their profile, a little bit about yourself, and gives them an easy way to continue the conversation. Let’s break this down piece by piece.

The Greeting

This is the easy part! All you have to do is say hi. We do recommend that you stick with ‘Hi’ or best dating site first messages and don’t say ‘Sup’ or ‘Yo wud up mama’ or something like that. You can use an exclamation point if you’d like, but it’s not necessary. We like it because it leads off with some nice energy and shows you’re a lively person. It takes it away from seeming like a business-type email and makes it a bit more playful.

Thing That Shows You Read Their Profile

This is a MUST. One of the most annoying things that turns people off with online dating is when you message them without reading their profile. It makes them feel like you don’t care enough to take the time to read what they’ve prepared or you’re just out sending mass messages which if you’ve read our blog on first message mistakes, you know is a huge no-no.

Take the time to read their profile and make sure they are someone you are interested in. We’ve even seen some people put things in their profile that they ask you to say to prove you read it, best dating site first messages. For example, “Put the word orange in your subject message to let me know you read my profile.” If you don’t do this, you’re getting ignored even if you have the best first dating message ever.

Look for something that you think is cool or that you like or have in common.

“I see you’re into _______.”

“I liked your picture at ________.”

“I think it’s awesome that you are involved with _______.”

“I’ve never met a ________ before.”

These are just a few examples, but you’re probably getting the idea. It’s okay to compliment best dating site first messages here, but don’t go overboard or you may start to seem desperate. Something like “OMG I love that you volunteer with dogs. I always knew my future wife would be into dogs,” is probably a little over the top. Also, try and stay away from complimenting them physically. This goes for men and women. Unless you’re just looking for a fling, this is not the right foot you want to start your dating journey on. Let them know you care more than just about how they look.

Something About You

Follow this up with something about you that is interesting. It’s best if it relates to the thing that you mentioned in their profile. “Hey! I see that you like dogs. I love rocket ships…” just doesn’t have the same effect. Try your best to find some commonalities between you two and use that to your advantage.

Remember, this is not the time to brag because you will come across pretty terribly. Just tell them something interesting that relates to what you saw that you liked about them.

Open-Ended Question

This part is a lot more important than it might seem. Some people aren’t the best at conversation, especially with complete strangers. So, it’s nice if you give them an easy way to respond and keep the conversation going. This is why we like to ask questions that are open-ended and easy to respond to.

Open-ended means that the answer is not easily a one-word answer. Yes, in our first example you could technically answer yes or no to whether you had dogs forever, best dating site first messages, but most people are going to give you a lot more than that. If you ask them a question like what is your favorite color or what is your favorite food, it doesn’t really open up the conversation. They’ll usually just answer the question and then it’s awkward for you to figure out how to respond.

You: Hey! I love that you like to volunteer with dogs. I have a terrier named Rocket who is my best friend. What’s your favorite kind of dog?

Them: Thanks. Shitzus, u?

You: Terriers.

((Crickets))

This is why you want to avoid questions like this. You don’t need to ask them to tell you their whole life story, but at least make things easy for them to respond. On that note, don’t ask complicated or super deep questions, best dating site first messages. Here’s a TERRIBLE example:

Hey! I love that you like to volunteer with dogs. I have a terrier named Rocket who is my best friend. What are your thoughts on kill shelters for dogs?

While you may or may not care about the answer to this question, this is way too heavy of a topic to lead off with. Keep things light, and there will always be time to talk about deeper topics like this later…much later.

A Wrap-Up

So, remember, this is the formula:

Greeting + Thing that shows you read their profile + Something About Best dating site first messages + Open ended question = Perfect first dating message

Keep it simple and let the conversation happen. You’ll be surprised at the results that you’ll get if follow this to a T.

What Not to Do In The First Message

We led off talking about what you should do in your first message to a potential date, best dating site first messages, but now we need to cover something more important – what NOT to do or say in your first message in online dating. Doing any of these things is most certainly going to get your message deleted with no response even from someone who may have been into you had you done things the right way.

Don’t Go Overboard With Compliments

It’s cool to give a slight compliment on something other than their physical appearance in a first message. But, anything other than that is going to make you seem desperate or creepy. They’ll already know you’re attracted to them based on the fact that you are messaging them. Keep the compliments to a minimum; there will be plenty of time for that later. The goal here is to get a conversation started and while you think compliments are going to help, you are incorrect.

Avoid Touchy Subjects

You want to keep things light at the beginning best dating site first messages a conversation or potential relationship. There is no value in dropping anything deep or getting into touchy subjects right off the bat. Some of you may think it makes you look deep, cultured, or worldly, but again, you are incorrect. Even if they put something deep in their profile, save it for later in the conversation. Stick to things that you would feel comfortable talking to a stranger about in public. If that doesn’t limit the list at all, use your brain because we’re confident you know what we’re talking about. We’re just trying to help you succeed.

Don’t Send a Novel

It can be soooooooo tempting to send a super-long message to someone especially when you think they’re incredible based on their dating profile. But, it’s a little weird and sets a standard that they may not be ready to reciprocate. Look, we think it’s awesome that you’re willing to take the time to write out an intensely long and detailed message to someone you’ve never met.

But, it’s not going to have the results you expect. It’s going to feel weird why someone is committing so much time and resources to someone they’ve never even spoken to, best dating site first messages. It might sound poetic to you, but it’s not. Also, best dating site first messages, it might make the other person feel like they have to respond with just as long of a message which they may not have the time to do. What will they do instead? Probably just delete your message or just let it sit there in their inbox for eternity until they “have the time to respond” which will be never.

Stick to the formula we gave you for the perfect first message, or at least keep it under a couple sentences if you choose to go it alone.

Don’t Send a D*ck Pic

Happy to report that we STILL have to put this. Actually, we’re not happy about it. While you might think this is a great way to get the girl you’re interested in talking to to talk to you, you are wrong. It’s classless and trashy to send something like this unsolicited. If they ask for it later down the line, we’re not here to judge you. But, sending this in the first message is ridiculous and really should count as sexual harassment if you ask us. If you walked up and just showed your junk to someone in public, you would be arrested. It would be nice if it were the same on the internet.

Keep it in your pants until the time is right.

The Conclusion

Don’t overthink the first message to someone you’re interested in. Follow our simple formula, and you’ll be getting responses in no time. Remember, read their profile and make sure you don’t do any of the no-no’s we mentioned. You will have a lot of luck, and you won’t have to sit there for hours anymore staring at the screen trying to figure out what to write.

Greeting + Thing that shows you read their profile + Something About You + Open ended question = Perfect first dating message

Read: The Best Dating Complete free dating sites without payment of The Year

Written By:Jason Lee

Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance. In 2008, Jason earned a Bachelors of Science from the University of Florida, where he studied business and finance and taught interpersonal communication.

His work has been featured in the likes of The USA Today, MSN, The Motley Fool, Net Health, and The Simple Dollar. As a business owner, relationship strategist, dating coach, best dating site first messages, and officer in the U.S. military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base with the rest of the world.

Downloading a dating app is the easy part. What’s not easy is sweating over the pictures that best represent you (or the ones you want to present to hundreds of single women). It’s also not easy to painstakingly craft a bio that’s equal parts informative and humorous.

But toughest of all? Coming up with that first perfectly witty message the minute you match with someone decent. These days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps, making a lasting first impression seems freaking impossible.

So we asked 20 real women to divulge the perfect one-liners, questions, and messages they wish men would send on mobile apps or dating sites. Oh, and by the way: ‘Hey, what’s up?’ isn’t cutting it. But cheese references might. (No, we don’t get it either.)

Here’s what they said:

“I like when a guy tries to get off the app immediately and says something like, ‘Hey, I’m interested in getting to know you. If you’re down, best dating site first messages, shoot me a text (insert #).’” – Cara J.  

“Run with something I have on my profile. Personally, I’m obsessed with cheese. The perfect first message would be something like ‘Saw you’re a cheesehead. I’ve been dying to go to this Italian place that serves four-cheese gnocchi—or pairs wine with half best dating site first messages dozen local cheeses. Interested?’ Um, yes, yes I am. Because A) who wouldn’t be into that? And B) you took the time to be unique, best dating site first messages. Even if we start messaging and I come to find you’re a wackjob and cancel the date, you still astronomically upped your chances than the guy who sent ‘Hey.'” – Victoria G. 

“Something related to my profile or picture that’s relatable. I’ve had a guy say: ‘I’ve been skydiving before, but how incredible was jumping in New Zealand?’ because of a photo I had. I feel like that’s the easiest way to connect with someone—through shared interests.” – Rae P. 

“‘Top 3 things you can’t live without—ready, set, go.’ Disarm me, throw me off (without being creepy), and be original, best dating site first messages. Best dating site first messages be way more inclined to play along. And this shows you actually have a personality…or at least a semblance of one.” – Anne S. 

“I’m actually totally cool with ‘Hey! How’s it going?’ It’s more grown-up and confident than ‘What’s up?’” – Sasha B. 

“Bring up something that’s in my bio or one of my pictures you relate to. Perfect example: ’Hey, What kind of race were you doing? I’m big into fitness, too.’ It shows you’re interested in learning about me (rare among dudes). Remember, the conversation shouldn’t be one-way. And we get to skip the small talk and get right into the conversation.” – Marie L. 

“I’ve actually gotten funny memes as a first message. The one that made me die laughing was a cartoon with pounding heart eyes—basically saying he thought I was attractive but not in a completely weird way. It’s just a better icebreaker than ‘Hey.’” – Samantha M. 

“Start with something like: ‘Totally into your profile and interests. Where were you traveling to?’… or, ‘How long did you live in San Francisco for?’ Target bits and pieces of my profile. I chose to highlight them for a reason!” – Caitlin D. 

“I honestly like a simple ‘Hey, how’s your day going?’ Ultimatums like, ‘Coffee or sleep?’ or ‘You’re gorgeous.’ annoy and freak me out.’” – Amy S. 

“Send a question that relates to something from my profile. It shows you actually took the time to craft a response and didn’t just send a generic ‘Hey, what’s up?’ to every girl on the app. For example, best dating site first messages, if one of my photos was of me at a concert, make a connection to a concert you recently went to.” – Caroline T. 

“I think the perfect first message is direct. ‘Hey, you seem really interesting. Would love to go out sometime.’ Stay away from stupid pickup lines.” – Rachel D. 

“Point out how awkward dating apps are and poke fun at yourself without being too self-deprecating and blindingly insecure. Say something like, ‘Trying to come up with a clever one-liner to hit you with gave me more anxiety than the SATs. So I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say I would love to get to know you outside the confines of this app.’ You seem sincere and I’m WAY more likely to want to get to know you, too.” – Brielle A.

“Always something witty or about food. Or, start with a question about my pictures or bio. I have a lot with my nephew because he’s important to me.” – Laura W. 

“Something that makes fun of the app and the situation. Like, pretend to be a character from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and say, ‘Hey, I’m Charlie. I like cheese and live with a guy named Frank.’ I would respect that. Though if I didn’t best dating site first messages the reference, then this would just flop.” – Amanda H.

“I like when a guy is engaging. It might be a little overdone, but asking for two truths and a lie is still, to me, a great conversation starter.” – Laura Q.

“Something unique and also relevant to my life via my profile. Ask, ‘Hey, what kind of nurse are you?’ It shows you’re generally interested in getting to know me as a person—not just what I look like. Anything beats ‘Hey, good lookin’.’” – Vanessa P. 

“‘Your perfect Sunday morning: workout, movie, or brunch?’ Depending on my answer, ask: ‘If I play my cards right, would you like to join me for X, Y, or Z sometime?’ This is PERFECT. It’s clever and not too demanding or creepy, because it’s on me to decide when or if it actually happens. If our conversation goes well and I’m feeling you, then I can initiate picking a date.” – Candice H. 

“I like for a guy to show his personality and humor. My now-boyfriend initiated a conversation with: ‘I don’t break apart Kit Kat bars. I eat them whole. Is that a deal breaker?’ I thought this was so weird and funny, I responded immediately.” – Marissa D. 

“Anything that makes you seem not like a complete stranger. Make a connection. I’m a law student, so if a guy draws a connection to the fact he’s in grad school or asks about it, it creates instant dialogue.” – Marianna B. 

“Compliment me on anything but my appearance. Say I fascinate you or you love that I’m best dating site first messages outdoorsy. Guys need to stop defaulting to cheap wins. We see past that—especially if we’re on here to find an actual relationship.” – Rose T.

Struggling to come up with an online dating first message that will get a response? Turns out, most men fear writing that first message, so you’re not alone.

The good news is we’ve got you covered with 5 online dating first message strategies (with copy-and-paste examples to get you started).

But First, 2 Quick Tips

Use their name.

Research shows people really like hearing (or reading) their name. A general rule of thumb for an online dating first message is if you can organically and naturally work their name in, you should.

Ask a question.

You’re much more likely to get a response from your match if your online dating first message asks a fun or unusual question. This will pull your match out of auto pilot swiping mode and switch her attention to you. Jumping right into a specific convo shows experience chatting up women.

Online Dating First Message #1: ___ or ___?

An open-ended question like “What kind of things are you into?” is kinda boring to answer, and forces your match to steer the direction the convo will go in.

An either/or question format is assertive, and takes charge in a sexy way.

Examples:

You: Peanuts or almonds?
Cait: Almonds 100%. I’m actually allergic to peanuts!
You: Oh shoot…so you’re telling me Reeses aren’t a part of your life? 😳
Cait: Haha no unfortunately 😭😭😭

You: Jon Snow or Khal Drogo?
Leanna: Asking the right questions
Leanna: And the impossible ones
Leanna: God, I guess I’d have to go with Khal Drogo. Less broody…and pale.

Online Dating First Message #2: Last Thing

It’s deceivingly simple to ask the last thing your match did as your online dating first message, but it’s a super effective strategy. This is the kind of question a friend would ask, so you are starting things off intimately without coming off as creepy.

The “last thing” could be anything — last book she read, last podcast she listened to, last cool restaurant she went to … the list is endless, best dating site first messages, and easy to tailor to an interest she mentions in her bio.

Examples:

You: Hi, Madeline. What’s the last trip/vaca you’ve taken?
Madeline: Hey! I went to L.A. last month, and it was pretty great
You: Awesome! What kind of stuff did you do there?
Madeline: I was only there a weekend, but I checked out Malibu, Calabasas, and Echo Park area mostly.

You: Last movie you went to see in the theater?
Casey: Hey! Captain Marvel!
You: Ah, best dating site first messages, I saw that last weekend! What did you think?
Casey: I felt like the beginning was a little slow, but I liked it overall

Online Dating First Message #3: Dinner Guest

Asking your match who inspires her is a really good way to get to know someone. Just be ready for her to turn around and ask who you’d want to have dinner with too.

Examples:

You: Sara, if you could have dinner with anyone (living or dead), who would it be?
Sara: Hmmm…Amelia Earhart is pretty freaking inspiring. I’d love to chat with her and pick her brain
Sara: What about you?

You: Andrea, hi 🙂 Who would you most want to have dinner with, of anyone in the world?
Andrea: hey! I’d actually really like to meet Warren Buffet. His values are on point, and maybe he could give me tips on how to make online dating devaluing $ 😂

Online Dating First Message #4: Top Five

An easy and fun way to get your match talking about her interests is to ask her top five favorite…anything. You could come up with something random, or get bonus points for relating your top five question to something in her bio.

Examples:

(Meg’s bio states that she’s a movie buff)
You: Hey, Meg! What would you say your top 5 favorite movies are?
Meg: Hey! Ummm…probably The Pelican Brief, Catch Me If You Can, On Golden Pond, She’s All That, and Fight Club!

You: Hey! Top five favorite breakfast foods…go
Serena: hahaha ok
Serena: eggs benedict, best dating site first messages, cheese omelet, leftover pizza, waffles with blueberries, and yogurt parfait

Online Dating First Message #5: Bio Question

Use your online dating first message to prove that you didn’t only swipe based on her photos and adorable smile. It can feel creepy and too forward to immediately mention or compliment her looks.

Show you’re deeper and mature by asking a specific follow up question about something in her bio.

Examples:

(Audrey’s bio says she can’t get enough of concerts)
You: So Audrey, best dating site first messages, your bio says you’re a concert junkie…what’s your all-time favorite band?
Audrey: That’s so hard! I’d have to go with Muse as absolute favorite though. What about you?

(Lily’s bio mentions she teaches yoga)
You: So Lily, what’s the first thing you would teach a newb like me about yoga?
Lily: Hey! Haha best dating site first messages you been to a class before?
You: No, but I’ve been wanting to give it a try!
Lily: Awesome! Well a lot of yoga is about mindfulness and awareness more than nailing poses!

First Messages ALWAYS Work Better When Your Pics are 🔥🔥🔥

If your pic is meh, whatever you say will seem less charming or interesting. A good pic is a huge advantage in chatting someone up effectively.

Pinpoint your best dating pics by testing them on Photofeeler.

Photofeeler tells you exactly how your photos are coming across to women (or men). You might be shocked at which of your pics are actually most attractive.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

A first impression is everything. But when that first impression is reduced to a single line it becomes magnified. If meeting someone in person, you have time to redeem yourself or shape your image. Online dating doesn’t grant users best dating site first messages opportunities. Best dating site first messages the intrepid online dater, this one line is your only chance to make an impact. Below you’ll find 50 online dating first message examples for guys that have been proven to work. But before you scan the list, copy, and paste, here are some things to keep in mind.

Get Acquainted With Her Profile

The best types of messages are personalized. A generic, “Hey, what’s your favorite movie?” is nothing compared actually good dating apps a more tailor-made message. To make a message personal, read through her entire profile to get a sense of her likes and dislikes. Don’t ignore the fact that she mentioned “Forget meditating to relax, I do PEMDAS instead.” Address her profile by responding to something she wrote.

Edit/Revise

It’s all about creating awesome first impressions, best dating site first messages. So when you slovenly write “your” when you should’ve written, best dating site first messages, “you’re,” you come off as a bit juvenile. A quick read through of your message before you send it ensures that any grammatical or spelling errors will be remedied.

Before pressing send, revise your message. The best writers in the world spend hours throwing away entire pages before they’re written something of worth. Take a note from the greats and think of the first message you write as a rough draft. Compose yourself before sending it off and ask if you can write an even better online dating first message. Chances are you can.

Be Different

She’s already getting inundated with vapid “H factor” words like: hi, hey, hello, hola, etc. If you don’t believe me, ask to see a female friend’s Tinder account and check for yourself. An insipid first message isn’t worth responding to unless your profile makes you out to be a superhero. Being different will make you stand out. When the recipient can tell that you’ve taken the time to write something unique, she’ll feel special. That’s never a bad thing.

Online Dating First Message Examples for Guys

When She Has No Written Bio

This is a tough one. How are you expected to create a personalized message when the written portion of her profile is blank? Hopefully you can glean enough about her from her photos to write her a witty first message. But if she’s only posted bathroom selfies, there’s little chance of that. There are two things you can do in this situation. One is to ditch her. Is the prolific bathroom selfie taker really the type of girl you want to be chasing? Option two is that you can ask her a probing question that forces her to tell you something about herself. Here are a few online dating first messages that will help you out.

Online Dating First Message Examples #1: “Hey Chelsea, tell me something cool about yourself.”

Whenever possible, best dating site first messages, use her name. Dale Carnegie, author of one of the best selling books of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People, says that “a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Writing her name gives the message a personal touch.

Follow it up by soliciting information about her. Asking her to tell you something cool about herself is to ask her to prove her worth. It also works because now you’ll get to know something unique about this stranger. When possible, skip the default getting-to-know-you questions and opt for something a bit more edgy.

Line 2: “So tell me Rebecca, best dating site first messages. What was the last song you belted?”

This is a variation of the oft-asked question of, “What’s your favorite band?” This question more easily leads to an in-depth conversation. More so than learning about her musical interests, this question seeks to find out how that specific song was selected, where it was sung, best dating site first messages, and why. There’s a story connected to the question. It’s best dating site first messages for the recipient because she’s never received a first message like this one before. The act of recalling the song and basking in the enjoyment of singing it is a fun mental exercise.

Line 3: “Let’s skip the customary ice breakers. Instead, tell me something weird about you.”

Again we see the banal opener being sidestepped for a stimulating question. She’s likely to tell you something odd about herself because you’re currently nothing more than a stranger. To her, this conversation just became a quirky little game.

Line 4: “Your profile says so much about you, but I can’t help but think that I’m missing something. Before we go any further, is there anything else I should know about you?”

This request for information will likely lead to her sharing the information that she was too lazy to write in her profile. The message works because it’s flirty on a subtle level. Her profile says absolutely nothing about her. You’re playfully poking fun at how god-awful her profile is. You will surely elicit an interesting response with such a question.

Line 5: “So tell me Mariela. How can I make you fall in love with me?”

Yup, it’s bold, but that’s why it’ll work, best dating site first messages. Best dating site first messages message isn’t salacious or irreverent. It’s innocent enough to be romantic. It’ll make her comb through her past experiences to figure out what it takes for her to fall in love with a guy, best dating site first messages. If she zombie girl dating sim, she’ll be giving you the key to her heart. Now all you have to do is walk through the labyrinth to get to the door.

Line 6: “Tell me a secret” or “Tell me something you don’t want your Mom to know about you.”

There’s no better way to accelerate a bond than through the sharing of secrets. Ask her to tell you something her mother doesn’t even know about her.

Line 7: “Did you know Sarah Palin calls her free professional dating site us Todd, the “First Dude”?

Pretty much any fun fact about Sarah Palin is gold. This one just happens to be one of the funnier ones. When in doubt, send her a random, best dating site first messages, yet funny fact.

Line 8: “What does your perfect day look best dating site first messages Also… if it involves anything to do with rock climbing can I come with?”

The first question alone is a bit generic. Other dudes have probably messaged her that exact best free dating site for christians. But by revealing what you like to do she learns a little bit about you, thus making you more human in her eyes and thus more worthy of a response.

Line 9: “So Jessica, tell me, best dating site first messages. What do you do for fun when you’re not flirting with strangers you met on Tinder?”

Two things are happening here. You’re showing a genuine interest in getting to know her while (hopefully) making her laugh. It’s the perfect combination of edgy and free to talk dating sites 10: Is it just me or is Meryl Streep by far the most overrated actor?

Right though? Everyone has seen a Meryl Streep movie and thus it’ll be more or less easy for her to comment. Personally, I’d agree. She’s good, but she’s not Daniel Day Lewis.

When Her Bio Includes Info About Her Favorite Show/Series

Online Dating First Message Examples for Guys #11: “Love is like starting a sentence that goes nowhere and just hopes to find meaning along the way.”

Any devout follower of The Office will recognize this variation of a Michael Scott quote. Sure it’s dorky, but if you send this, you’ll just have combined her two most favorite things, best dating site first messages. Michael Scott and falling in love.

Line 12: The Office Trivia: Who Said It? “Dwight you ignorant slut!”

Generally I’d say stay away from including the word slut in an online dating first message, but when it’s a The Office quote, an exception can be made. The beauty of trivia is that best dating site first messages works for any show. Just pick whichever show she’s interested in and make your own trivia question.

Line 13: “Did you know Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams didn’t get along at first? I never would have guessed it.”

Sure it’s cliché, but you’re bound to run across a woman who lauds The Notebook in her profile. Don’t shy away from broaching it. Always steer the conversation towards things she likes.

Line 14: “I don’t know how I’ve made it this far without being exposed to any Game Of Thrones spoilers. Almost there!”

Spoilers are the bane of any serial series best local dating apps. Bond over your shared ability to elude spoilers and love for one of the greatest dramas of all time. To the wall!

Line 15: I don’t know if this is going to work out Vanessa. Roma was hands down the most overrated movie of 2018. I tried to like it, I even watched it twice, but I just couldn’t.”

There’s nothing wrong with being a bit edgy. Most men that strike up a chat online are at fault for being too best dating site first messages. Playfully and respectfully show her that you disagree with what she’s said about her favorite movie. It’ll quickly lead to a stimulating conversation.

When She Talks About Pizza

Online Dating First Message Examples #16: “Have you tried the La Regina pizza at Tony’s down in North Beach? It won the gold cup over in Italy.”

It doesn’t mater if she isn’t in San Francisco. Every foodie loves to talk about their favorite spots to eat. If she’s a pizza eater, best dating site first messages, ask her if she’s tried pizza at a particularly happening or obscure place.

Line 17: “Did you know that pizza as we know it originated in Naples in the 1600s? I learned that when an Italian guy yelled at me for saying that Little Caesar’s isn’t absolute garbage.

Facts are great and all but you don’t want to come off as a know-it-all. A little backstory as to why you know a certain fact creates a more well-rounded online dating first message.

When She Talks About Ice Cream

Line 18: “I hear your favorite ice cream tells a lot about you. Judging from your interest in Phish Food I’m going to guess that you prefer an all night jam band over a rave.”

Make assumptions. Even if they’re wrong she’ll feel obligated best dating site first messages correct you. Just make sure those assumptions are playful.

Line 19: “Have you tried that new place over on ‘x’ avenue? I hear its Mellow Yellow will split your tongue in half… I assume that’s a good thing.”

Get foodie with her. If she’s an epicurean, feed into her love of fine foods. Broaching a solid place to grab best dating site first messages scoop of ice cream is a nice segue into asking her out.

When She Talks About Brunch In Her Profile

Online Dating First Message Examples #20: “The next time you want to feel fancy while eating brunch just know that it originated in England in the 19^th century.”

Make her life feel a little bit more spectacular with an interesting fact or two. As long as you’re not coming off as arrogant, you’ve probably constructed a message worth sending.

When She Talks About Scuba Diving

Line 21: “Your profile makes me so jealous. Can you teach me to be as cool as your?” (I’m referring to your badass scuba diving skills btw)

Flattery should only be used if it’s warranted. That being said, when scuba diving is in the picture, it’s definitely merited.

Line 22: “I’m not gonna lie, when I was a kid and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said scuba diver. Instead I chose to be (only insert your profession here if it’s somehow humorous in contrast to what you wanted to become).

Line 23: Let me see if I can stump you. Which are older: great white sharks or dinosaurs?”

It’s trivia time! Put your drinks to the side and get that buzzer hand ready. It’s never a bad time for a little spontaneous trivia.

Line 24: “Did you know mermaids smoke seaweed?”

I’ll be the first to say that this line won’t work on every woman. Only use it if she says that she’s into lame jokes or seems like the type of person that is into a lazy laugh.

Line 25: “I was kind of bummed to hear that there are only 70ish shark attacks every year. I still think you’re super brave.”

Call her valiant, make her feel like a knight, best dating site first messages, and she’ll surely respond positively to your message in due time.

Line 26: “Tell me something cool about scuba diving.”

When in doubt, remember to talk about a topic that she’s into. If you ask her about her passion she’ll start talking. This is the goal of a first message.

When Her Bio Includes Pictures Of Her Skiing/Snowboarding

Online Dating First Message Examples for Guys #27: “Be honest… do you beef with snowboarders?”

You’re right, it’s kind of dumb. But it’s also cute, best dating site first messages. Talking about her passion is never a bad call.

Line 28: “Global warming’s a bummer. It leads to war, the washing away of islands, and makes our president sound like an idiot. But for all the bad it’ll do I’m most worried about not being able to ski on fresh power.”

Such an online dating first message only really works if you two share the same passion. Should this be the case, best dating site first messages, harp on that until you’ve got a first date. When doing so never be afraid to show a little bit of wit.

Line 29: “Did you hit up any good mountains this past season?”

Simple and straightforward. The message shows that you read her profile and most likely share a hobby. Initial messages don’t need to be intricate. 70% of guys don’t even write initial messages that contain more than two words.

Line 30: “My biggest fear is getting crushed by an avalanche and stuck under the snow. I felt the need to share that with you.”

Addressing biggest fears right off the bat, that’s cool, best dating site first messages. It’s even better when that fear pertains to one of her hobbies.

When She Shows Off Her Pooch

Online Dating First Message Examples best dating site first messages “How long did it take to house train your best dating site first messages I think my Best dating site first messages indian men dating chinese girl seemed into the wood floor.”

Bond over the struggles of doggy parenting.

Line 32: “Have you ever taken your dog to Cherry Park? They just landscaped the lawn and it’s now a doggy haven.”

Careful with how you frame such a question. She’ll be leery to disclose the places she frequents to a stranger. Write this question so as to advise her to check out a certain place instead of asking if she goes there a lot.

Line 33: “I just adopted a dog and am now going through the name process but am overwhelmed, best dating site first messages. There are like 3,842 quality names out there (I know I made a list). How did you decide on a name for your pup?”

Asking cougar dating site free advice is never a bad way to go. Just don’t make yourself look ignorant or lazy.

Line 34: “I just found out that dogs see in more frames per minute than humans. So compared to us, dogs see in slow-mo. Despite that my dog still can’t catch a tennis ball.”

A fact followed by best dating site first messages humorous anecdote is a solid 1-2 punch as far as online dating first messages are concerned.

Line 35: “Have you noticed the anti-bulldog stickers posted around Brooklyn lately?”

Bring up a contentious topic concerning a subject she’s interested in. The merit of breeds is just such a topic.

Line 36: “Did you know that petting a dog and staring into their eyes releases oxytocin?”

Sure you want to be the source of oxytocin generation but before you can get there you’ll have to woo her. The best way to do this is by first woofing her up with comments about her beloved pooch.

Line 37: “I love “dog breed name.” I hear they “dog breed fact.”

Show her dog’s breed some love by letting her know you appreciate her pooch. Throwing in a cool fact about her dog’s breed will make you seem like a best dating site first messages man.

Line 38: “Let’s be honest. The only way this will work out is if our dogs are buddies, best dating site first messages. Sooo, doggie date?”

A recent study found that users that have a photo showcasing their furry companion have their odds of getting a woman’s phone number from 10% to 33%. There’s a reason dog is man’s best friend. There’s nothing wrong with using your pooch to score a first date. Especially not if Spot makes a friend during the process.

When She Talks About Skydiving In Her Bio

Online Dating First Message Examples #39: “So I see that you’re a badass. Can you teach me your ways?”

This line works when she has showcased her skills in any extreme sport. The line is perfect because it begins with flattery and ends with a request to meet up.

Line 40: “I randomly recently heard that the youngest person to skydive was 4 year old. That’s badass and all but I’m pretty sure his parents are now locked up.”

A mixture of fact and humor is never a bad call.

When She Showcases Her Boxing Skills

Line 41: “I’m not going to lie. I honestly just thought George Foreman was a glorified grill salesman.”

Sure it’s a little silly, best dating site first messages sometimes silly works. Especially when the competition is settling for “Hey cutie” as an online dating first message.

Line 42: “I’m tempted to use a silly pickup line with you but I’m afraid you’ll beat me up. You kind of seem like a badass.”

Pickup lines are just about never a good idea, unless they’re unbelievably brilliant and your subsequent message acknowledges how stupid the pickup line was. So basically, don’t use them. Be genuine and complement her non-physical features instead.

When She’s Into Cats

Line 43: I don’t want to get nerdy on you or anything. But I just learned that a group of cats is called a clowder.”

Show her you care about her interests by talking about them. You’re also more likely to receive a response if you keep the conversation on a topic she likes.

Line 44: “So I’m currently team dog, but I’m considering switching sides. Think you can persuade me?”

Challenge her. Just make sure the challenge isn’t too difficult.

When She Talks About Netflix

Online Dating First Message Examples for Guys #45: “Favorite show on Netflix that isn’t The Office, go!”

Not everyone scuba dives or even is the lucky parent of a K9. Mexican women dating surely everyone has their favorite Netflix show. It might not be the most exhilarating conversation, but it’s one that everyone can have. Keep it relatable.

Line 46: “I just finished Big Mouth and am need of a new show. Any suggestions?”

She’ll be flattered when you ask her for her opinion. Soliciting her advice increases her self-worth is makes her feel girl. Well done.

When She’s Clearly Into Travel

Line 47: What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten while on vacation?”

Nowadays there are two things everyone is into; food and travel. Combine the two to create a question and you’ll surely receive a response.

Line 48: “What’s the coolest thing you did during your time in “France”?”

You’ll be able to tell where she’s been because of her photos or she will have written about it in her bio. Once you know where she’s been simply ask her what she enjoyed most about the city/country.

Line 49: “Did you know that in Bora Bora putting a flower in your left ear indicates that you’re single?”

A lot of women have been to Bora Bora. Log onto Bumble and see for yourself, best dating site first messages. Any talk of their most prized vacation destination will likely result in a full blown conversation.

Line 50: “Where’s the coolest place you’ve been outside of the USA?”

The whole purpose of an online dating first message is to get her talking. What better way to encourage chatter than to ask her about something that excites her as much as travel?

Wrap-up: Online Dating First Message Examples for Guys

The purpose of displaying the above online dating first message examples is to give you an idea of what women will respond to. Best dating site first messages you can see, best dating site first messages, women are most likely to get back to you if you ask them a question about something their passionate about while adding some humor to your initial message.

Crafting a clever online dating first message is just one of the many components you’ll need learn to reach your dating goals and ultimately find the RIGHT woman to settle down with, best dating site first messages. If perfectly fine if you still need a little guidance.

That’s where I come in. When dating russian advice book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me, we’ll address any concerns you might have regarding online dating first messages, discuss your dating history and any other sticking points you may have, co-create an action plan, and see if my 3 month coaching program could be right for you!