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FLARE / Identity & Politics

Hawaya launched in Canada this summer, so with nothing but time on my hands I decided to give it—and two other dating apps—a try

As a single Pakistani woman on the cusp of turning 23, whenever I talk to my relatives during family gatherings—which, due to the the 10,000+ kilometres between us, tend to be weddings—they excitedly inquire when I will amble down the proverbial aisle myself. However, I’m also a practicing Muslim. For anyone not in the know, this means that I’m not as free to pursue romantic relationships outside of marriage as my non-Muslim peers because Islam forbids emotional and physical intimacy before or outside of marriage (the idea being that intimacy requires trust and responsibility, two qualities marriage ideally entails).

While many practicing Muslims do date (without physical intimacy) in what is commonly referred to as “halal dating”—sometimes with but often without the knowledge of their parents—it’s not something that I’ve previously been interested in. Plus, while my parents have never *explicitly* forbidden me from forming close friendships with men or dating them, they have made disparaging remarks about other girls who had or who seemed like they had, demonstrating to me that boys are akin to weed: Although it’s technically legal to engage with them, disapproval and coercion to quit would await me should I do it. So, I haven’t.

But ever since I entered my twenties, my parents have been hinting for me to either present them with a marital prospect or consent to attend marriage meetings—resembling those shown on Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking—with suitors of their choice. So, with nothing but time thanks to the pandemic, I figured that now was as great a time as any to try my luck in love the way all great romances start: through a dating app. 

If you thought online dating in general was hard, try dating on an app as a Muslim woman. Despite the fact that some traditional dating apps allow users to filter matches by religion, they only provide you with a limited number of characters in your bio and an even fewer number of filters. Which really isn’t enough, considering Islam has nearly 1.8 billion followers spread over the globe. And with no central voice to dictate practices, the intersection of culture and politics with religion makes being Muslim a multifaceted experience with multiple layers. Even Muslims who have grown up in similar circumstances may have different attitudes when it comes to their diet, prayer, fasting and community engagement, and they may navigate social issues such as gender roles and expectations, racism and varying degrees of LGBTQ acceptance differently.

These are BIG topics, and it’s important to me that I find a romantic partner who has a similar outlook on these issues because they influence my entire lifestyle. However, this type of compatibility is hard to accomplish with traditional matchmaking, which prioritizes things like a partner’s employment status, income and family background. Perhaps this is why there has been a recent boom in dating apps geared specifically towards Muslims. Since 2015, Minder, BeyondChai, Eshq, Salaam Swipe, Hawaya and MuzMatch have launched to fill the Muslim void in the dating app market that previously was solely occupied by SingleMuslim.

With so many options, where to begin? Well, for the sake of journalism (as well as my dating life), I decided to try out a few, signing up for Hawaya, MuzMatch and Hinge for comparison. And it was an eye-opening experience, to say the least.

Hawaya

Founded as Harmonica in 2017 by a group of Egyptian entrepreneurs, Hawaya—which labels itself as a “Serious Dating & Marriage App for Muslims”—initially catered to a local Egyptian demographic—where it found huge popularity. In July 2020, Hawaya debuted in Canada, and currently has more than 1 million worldwide downloads combined on the Google Play Store and the App Store.

Through what felt like a thousand taps, Hawaya solicited my name, gender, age, location and career field. It obviously inquired about my religion and sect (Sunni Muslim); despite the app being marketed as a Muslim dating app, there were options for other religions. Hawaya also wanted to know my relationship status (never married), how many children I have (none), whether I’m willing to travel abroad for or after marriage (yes) and how soon into a relationship I plan to get married (after one to two years of dating). In addition to these, my profile included the option to list my hometown, ethnicity, height, body-type and whether I smoke, as well as my education level, field of study, university and interests.

Despite amassing so much information about me and my matches, Hawaya had a limited set of free filters and even more limited matches that met the filters of age (21–29), location (within 200 km of Mississauga, Ont.) and sect (Sunni) that it suggested for me. My matches quickly became non-Sunni and then non-Muslim men near my hometown, before evolving into Sunni Muslims in the U.S. and Europe, then non-Sunni and non-Muslim men in the U.S. and Europe, until I was greeted with profiles that were entirely in languages I don’t speak. Because I didn’t want to subject these men or myself to the Duolingo owl’s guilt trips, I swiped away from their profiles.

In addition, Hawaya also only provided two options for gender and no options to list my sexuality or what sexuality and gender I prefer. If I chose to upgrade to the app’s Premium version—$39.99 for one month, $89.99 for three and $109.99 for six months—it would allow me to filter my matches by relationship status, ethnicity, height, body type, career field, education level and even university, but still not gender nor sexuality, invalidating the existence of LGBTQ Muslims and excluding them from using the app.

Hawaya also didn’t provide any options to signal whether I’m a practicing Muslim (i.e. if and how often I pray and fast or if I consume non-halal meat, pork and/or alcohol) and whether I prefer my partner to be practicing. Had Hawaya provided these options, I could have avoided one very awkward conversation with a match who neither prayed nor fasted and ate non-halal meat, all huge deal breakers for me. The conversation led me to un-match with not just him, but also with Hawaya altogether, and turn to MuzMatch instead.

MuzMatch

The brainchild of a Muslim-American entrepreneur that launched in North America in 2015, MuzMatch claims to be “the best free Muslim marriage app,” on the market, having facilitated 60,000 marriages so far—so, a pretty good track record.

Like Hawaya, MuzMatch inquired about my age, gender, location, education and ethnic background, relationship status and religion. But unlike Hawaya, the app also asked me how religious I am (very), whether I’m a revert or convert (neither), how often I pray (usually), how I dress (I wear a hijab) and whether I only eat halal food (yes), smoke (no) or drink (also no). MuzMatch also displayed my matches’ responses to these questions so I could filter through them manually for free, or automatically after paying a subscription fee.

Having these parameters presented right off the bat helped immensely while filtering through the flood of likes I received on the app. However, MuzMatch still didn’t have any options to list one’s political views, which have become increasingly important due to, well, everything going on. As a result, I had many impassioned exchanges with matches who didn’t agree with my political views (I am pro-BLM, pro-choice and an LGBTQ ally) that ultimately ended with us un-matching. 

To avoid further draining debates, I decided to try a more conventional app and downloaded Hinge in hopes of finding someone with similar political views as me.

Hinge

The recently redesigned Hinge is open to everybody rather than catering exclusively to a Muslim market like Hawaya and MuzMatch. Hinge allows users to get to know matches “through their unique answers to prompts, and personal information like religion, height and politics” and promises to “quickly learn your type” and only introduce you “to the best people for you.”

As a result, Hinge didn’t delve into details regarding my ethnocultural or religious identity and practices, though it did ask me whether I drink alcohol, smoke weed or do drugs (no to all three). Hinge offers many options for gender identity and allows users to pick whether they’re interested in men, women or both. Hinge also allows users to list their political views, but it only has four options (Liberal, Conservative, Moderate or Other), which were pretty limiting considering Liberals often disagree on many issues ranging from freeing Palestine to fracking. 

Hinge gives users the choice to not disclose their religious and political beliefs or not make them visible on their profile. It also makes filtering by political views exclusive to paying members. So, while I appreciated that it at least had this option, unless I paid $39.99 for one month, $79.99 for three or $119.99 and for six, I could only filter matches by their religion. And even then, I was often still left guessing how religious they were and where they leaned politically because they had hidden some or all of this information from their profile.

Despite the low number of matches I received and the long time I took to swipe left or right on them, I ran out of likes within ten minutes of using the app. (In comparison: Hawaya and MuzMatch had limits on how many profiles I could like, but allowed me to spend much longer browsing before I reached them.) And when I began a conversation with someone, I still had to go through the whole cumbersome choreography of gauging their religious and political views that had led me to abandon Hawaya.

The verdict

I understood going into this experiment that it was highly unlikely I would come across a match with whom I could recreate, if not the Teen Choice nominated kiss from The Proposal, then at least the fun, easy banter between its lead couple. (It is, after all, not real life.) But I thought that it would be fun to connect and converse with new people. However each swipe, each suitor and each sentence I swapped with them stressed me out. I hesitated swiping left on matches, thinking that I should give them a chance because they could surprise me, and I hurried to reply to them for fear of offending them. I even held in cutting remarks when they said things like “I don’t expect you to cook everything but expect you to learn to cook everything.” I wondered whether matches found me attractive, I worried about whether I would be able to find religious and political common ground with them, and I increasingly wrestled with the thought that perhaps I wasn’t ready for commitment right now. (We are, after all, in a pandemic.)

Ultimately, if I had to choose one, I’d say MuzMatch best lived up to its claim as the “the best free Muslim marriage app” with its array of information about matches’ religious preferences. But it could improve by adding and option for matches to list their political views. Both Hawaya and Hinge, on the other hand, lacked enough free filters pertaining to the users’ religious, cultural and sociopolitical views and practices. (If conventional apps like Hinge want to cater to a more religiously diverse demographic, they should really consider this.) If I was *really* invested in finding a partner right now, I may have considered paying in-app to see if any of these additional features made the experience better; but ultimately, I decided that it’s just not the right decision for me right now. 

The sense of relief and rightness that greeted me whenever I closed these apps told me that maybe I would rather experience matchmaking on my TV screen than on my phone screen for now. Which is why I’m uninstalling all of these dating apps. I may or may not reinstall them depending on if I lock eyes with somebody across the room and fall madly in (socially distanced) love at first sight during the interim, but for now I can’t wait to free up storage on my phone and my heart.

At a time when meeting new people is fraught with risk, dating can be tough. But who has been able to stop love? Technological advances have ensured that like-minded people can still connect, albeit virtually. To navigate the complex cultural landscape in the world, it is no wonder that dating apps that cater exclusively to certain communities are mushrooming all over. In this piece, our focus is on 11 popular Muslims dating apps which are helping individuals to find the one in the era of physical distancing.

eHarmony: This dating app connects Muslim professionals in the USA, Canada, Australia, Ireland and the UK. It matches daters according to their preferences and sets the foundation for a possible face-to-face interaction.

Muslima: With subscribers mainly from Algeria, France, the UK and Saudi Arabia, Muslima is known for its strict verification process. It offers both free and paid plans and matches users based on the answers they provide to a set of questions.

Muslimfriends: Here for two decades, this Muslim dating app incubated in Silicon Valley is known for its affordable plans. Its major user base comes from the Middle East, Africa, Asia, Europe, Canada and the USA.

Elitesingles: This app boasts of five million users in the USA alone, most of whom are below 30 years. It matches people based on their personal attributes and goals which are determined from the results of a test.

Muzmatch: The search for a soulmate gets finely customised in this app which helps you match on the basis of city, locality, dress, sect and the number of times one prays in a day. It has a presence in 190 countries with four million registered users.

Eshq: With its claim of empowering women, this dating app is said to be popular among Muslim women. Right now, it’s available for iPhone users only. Besides dating, it offers the option to find friends too.

Salams - Formerly known as Minder, Salams claims that it provides halal, simple and secure dating. This Muslim dating app was in the news for christening itself after the much popular dating app, Tinder. It offers the option of finding a partner based on education, sect, career, height, prayer levels and more.

Singlemuslim: Taking an extra step towards user privacy, this dating app with 2.5 million users provides restricted access to photographs.

Qiran: Known for being run by a management team that comprises Muslims, this product welcomes heterosexual persons only. It comes under the religious dating category and has two million single users.

Salaam Love: Users have to answer a short questionnaire to find their soulmate here. Salaam love is a network of Arab and Asian Muslim singles seeking marriage. Chatrooms, blogs, and forums are available to make the search easy.

Muslim Matrimony: This is an Indian dating service. Users have the option to protect pictures, phone numbers and horoscopes from other members.

User experience

A user from New Delhi’s Shaheen Bagh, who was on MuzMatch, said that though he found love in the traditional, arranged way, the app helped him understand what he was looking for in a life partner. “I had a great time matching with Muslims from all over the world, especially from European and African countries. The conversations were serious in nature and we used to discuss various issues related to religion in our region. However, the interactions lacked the meaning and spark I was looking for. The pandemic too has made it difficult to meet people. There is a reason why it is difficult for Muslims to justify being on a dating app."

Women empowerment?

A woman user from Mumbai shared with News18 how she found her soulmate on a dating app despite her parents’ plan to marry her off to a relative."I was not happy to receive the marriage proposal from a relative. When I shared my concerns with friends, they suggested that I should try finding my partner on a dating app. After some research, I created profiles on Eshq, Muslim Matrimony and Salams App. I was contacted by suitors from various states and I found the one last November. Much to my delight, my parents too accepted him, who is a doctor by profession. We got married this January in Thane. “Muslim dating apps do empower women to find a partner of their choice, but they must read up on the apps carefully before they join one," the newly-wed added.

Measures for privacy

Sayeed MA, who is the director of Hyderabad-based E-Swift Software, said: “A few Muslim dating apps like Eshq have a strong user verification system. It is easy for anyone to create a fake profile on these apps. Every new user must be asked to link their social media accounts on the apps to weed out potential harassers. Like the job portal Naukri.com, dating sites should have a user verification policy in which anyone providing wrong information is blocked."

Is dating allowed in Islam?

To find the answer to this, we contacted a prominent Sunni cleric of Lucknow, Maulana Sufiyan Nizami Firangi Maheli of the Islamic centre of India.

He said: “Muslim users should not upload photos on social media and dating apps. The recent Sulli Deals, in which Muslim women were ‘auctioned’, shows why it should not be done. They can meet their preferred person and their families by maintaining the hijab. Muslim grooms or brides should meet and brief each other about their good and bad deeds. Before meeting through dating apps, people must check their partners’ background thoroughly."

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When my friend first told me she was looking for a partner on Minder, I thought it was a typo.

"Surely she means Tinder," I thought.

She didn't. Minder is a real thing, an app Muslims use to browse local singles, much like Tinder.

As a Muslim, you get used to people not understanding your life. They don't get why you cover your hair or why you don't eat during Ramadan, the holy month of fasting. And they definitely don't get how Muslim relationships work. I've been asked countless times if we get hitched solely through arranged marriages. (We don't.) Some people seem to have a notion Islam is stuck in the 15th century.

Yes, there's always that family friend who can't stop herself from playing matchmaker. But many Muslim millennials, especially those of us who grew up in the West, want more control over who we end up spending the rest of our lives with. Platforms like Minder and Muzmatch, another Muslim dating app, have put that power in our hands. They counteract misconceptions that Islam and modernity don't mix. And ultimately, they're proof that we, like 15 percent of Americans, use technology to find love.

"We're the generation that was born with the rise of technology and social media," says Mariam Bahawdory, founder of Muslim dating app Eshq, which, similar to Bumble, allows women to make the first move. "It's not like we can go to clubs or bars to meet people in our community, because there's a reputation to uphold and there's a stigma attached to going out and meeting people."

That stigma, prevalent in many immigrant communities, also applies to meeting people online, which is generally viewed by some as desperate. But as more people sign up for these apps, that notion is being challenged, says Muzmatch CEO and founder Shahzad Younas.

"There is an element of taboo still, but it's going," Younas says.

Even the word "dating" is contentious among Muslims. Especially for those from my parents' generation, it carries a negative connotation and pits Islamic ideals about intimacy against Western cultural norms. But for others, it's merely a term for getting to know someone and finding out if you're a match. As with all faiths, people follow more liberal or conservative rules around dating depending on how they interpret religious doctrines and what they choose to practice.

There are, of course, similarities between Muslim and mainstream dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid and Match. All have their fair share of quirky bios, pictures of guys in muscle shirts and awkward conversations about what we do for a living.

But a few features -- including one that lets "chaperones" peek at your messages -- make Muslim-catered apps stand out.  

'Muslim Tinder'

In February, I finally decided to check out Minder for myself. As someone in my mid-twenties, I'm essentially a prime target for dating apps, yet this was my first time trying one. I'd always been hesitant to put myself out there and didn't have much faith I'd meet anyone worthwhile.

Minder, which launched in 2015, has had over 500,000 sign-ups, the company says. Haroon Mokhtarzada, the CEO, says he was inspired to create the app after meeting several "well educated, highly eligible" Muslim women who struggled to find the right guy to marry. He felt technology could help by connecting people who might be geographically scattered.

"Minder helps fix that by bringing people together in one place," Mokhtarzada says.

When creating my profile, I was asked to indicate my level of religiosity on a sliding scale, from "Not practicing" to "Very religious." The app even asked for my "Flavor," which I thought was an interesting way to describe which sect of Islam I belong to (Sunni, Shia, etc.).

I indicated my family origin (my parents immigrated to the US from Iraq in 1982); languages spoken (English, Arabic); and education level, then filled in the "About me" section. You can even choose to indicate how soon you want to get married, but I opted to leave that blank. (Who even knows?)

These details can, for better or worse, become the focus of potential relationships. A Sunni may only want to be with another Sunni. Someone who's less religious may not be able to relate to someone with more strict interpretations of the faith. One person on the app might be looking for something more casual, while another might be seeking a serious relationship that leads to marriage.

I started to swipe. Left. A lot. There were some decent candidates, but it didn't take long to realize why my friends had such little success on these kinds of apps. Guys had a tendency to post selfies with weird Snapchat puppy filters and pictures of their cars, and there was an odd abundance of photos with tigers. Several "About me" sections just said "Ask me."

I did get a kick out of some of the lines in the bios, like: "Trying to avoid an arranged marriage to my cousin," "Misspelled Tinder on the app store and, well, here we are," and, "My mother manages this profile." I didn't doubt the veracity of any of those statements. My personal favorite: "I have Amazon Prime." I won't lie, that was pretty tempting.

My friend Diana Demchenko, who is also Muslim, downloaded the app with me as we sat on my couch one Saturday evening, and she managed to stay on it a grand total of 30 hours before deleting it. She was overwhelmed by how many people you can swipe through without even noticing.

"I was like, 'I just looked at 750 guys,'" she recalls. "That's a ton."

Saba Azizi-Ghannad

Some people have found success, of course. Three years ago, after a tough breakup, 28-year-old Saba Azizi-Ghannad of New York started to feel hopeless. She was busy with medical school and not meeting a lot of people. Then a friend told her about Minder. Suddenly, she was connecting with people across the country.

"It's hard to find what you're looking for because we're already a minority," Azizi-Ghannad says. "The app can help connect you to somebody you wouldn't have met otherwise or couldn't have bumped into at a social event."

She eventually matched with Hadi Shirmohamadali, 31, from California. The pair (pictured at the top of this story) talked on FaceTime every day. Around six weeks later, they met in person for dinner in New York City.

"It felt like I was meeting up with a friend for the first time," Azizi-Ghannad says. "Every time I [saw] him, it kind of felt that way."

After about four months of occasional meetings, their parents met. Then, in March, during a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, Shirmohamadali got down on one knee and proposed.

"From the get-go, it was just simple," Azizi-Ghannad says. "All ambiguity I had experienced with other people I had talked to wasn't there."

Need a chaperone?

Muzmatch is another popular app among Muslims. Founded in 2015, it reached a million members this year.

A few features set the app apart from Minder. For one, you can see if a person has swiped right on you, which is slightly horrifying but also somewhat helpful. Apps like Hinge also include this feature, while others (including Minder) will tell you who's liked you if you pay for a premium subscription. I did feel like I was more likely to swipe right on someone who showed interest in me if I'd been on the fence about them before.

Muzmatch CEO Shahzad Younas says he opted to include that level of transparency because the app is designed for people who are more serious about finding a partner. That's great until you start seeing people on the app you know in real life, which happens often in a place like the San Francisco Bay Area, where social circles often overlap. That, my friends, is when I decided to tap out. No need to stir up drama or make things uncomfortable.

The app also lets "chaperones" monitor your messages. People who aren't comfortable having one-on-one conversations with random people online can invite a family member or friend to follow their chats and make sure all's good. Everyone in the conversation is aware another person can read the messages. As strange as it may sound to willingly have a third person read your texts, it could help ease someone onto the platform if they follow more conservative guidelines about who they can talk to.

"There are lots of variations and differences of opinion in Islam," Younas says. "We don't want to force a particular view on everyone. Pick and choose what's important to you."

Muzmatch also asks how often you pray. There are five required daily prayers in Islam, and some people may feel more comfortable being with someone who adheres to that requirement. Civil rights attorney Zahra Billoo appreciates the prayer gauge feature. As someone who prays daily, it helps her narrow her options to someone who's more aligned to her lifestyle.

What Billoo isn't a fan of: people who go through the app without putting in much effort.

"You swipe through a dozen, two dozen, 100 people in a day, and it means nothing," Billoo says. "Quantity over quality seems to be the norm now."

That, of course, is a serious concern across all dating apps.

"There's always this illusion that what you've found isn't sufficient and that there's someone better out there," says Heba El-Haddad, a mental health associate at Khalil Center, a faith-based wellness center. Just because you have more options doesn't mean they're all going to be a fit for you, she cautions.

Muzmatch has also had its fair share of success stories: More than 25,000 people around the world have found their partner through the app, Younas says.

One of them is Anwar Mohid, 35, who converted to Islam in December and started looking for a partner on Muzmatch. Two days after becoming Muslim, he matched with a woman in Australia. They talked on the phone for hours a day. A month and a half later, she flew to the US and they got engaged.

Mohid says he was slightly nervous about meeting up in person. They knew they could easily talk on the phone for hours, but weren't sure if they'd click in real life.

"We just picked up from the phone conversations," Mohid says. "If it wasn't for Muzmatch, I don't think I'd be getting married."

Female empowerment

Eshq, the app that lets women make the first move, is hoping to shake up the Muslim online dating game.

Mariam Bahawdory, its founder, says women she spoke with complained about men not knowing how to initiate a conversation. Some were even harassed for being on the apps in the first place, likely by people who thought it was inappropriate for women to be putting themselves out there. So Bahawdory decided to put the power in womens' hands.

While platforms like Muzmatch and Minder have the underlying goal of marriage, Bahawdory says you won't see the word "matrimony" anywhere on Eshq. Users can choose whether they want to use the app for marriage, dating or friendship. She's aware of the criticism this will likely draw from more conservative crowds, but says she isn't phased.

"One of the stigmas is that it's haram [forbidden] and this isn't what Muslims do," Bahawdory says. "We're not saying we're following Islamic guidelines. We're bringing the community together to use the platform as they see fit."

The app launched for iOS this month.

"This generation is revolutionizing the way Muslims are meeting," Bahawdory, who is 31, says. "Our parents are noticing there are advancements in technology that could help us meet others."

It's true. Minder and Muzmatch connected me with more people than I could ever encounter in the real world. It opened up my options and allowed me to make my own choices about who to talk to. It was empowering.

A few weeks after downloading the apps, though, I went into settings and made my accounts undiscoverable. Sure, a part of me wondered what it would be like if I actually found a partner on Minder or Muzmatch (it would make for a hell of a story). But after meeting in-person with a few guys I matched with, I realized I'm not ready to put so much effort into finding out whether digital compatibility translates into a real-world connection. It takes time, patience and thicker skin than I have right now.

But I didn't go so far as to delete the apps. After all, a handful of people told me about their positive experiences. Maybe someday, when I'm ready to commit, I'll give it another shot and find my tiger-loving, Amazon Prime-subscribing soulmate. 

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Forget shaadi.com and naseeb.com—Muslim-American millennials are jumping on the bandwagon of mobile dating this year with the launch of over four different Tinder-esque dating apps, all serving to keep your both your love life and deen in check.Also Read - Online Date Turns Into Nightmare As Woman Put In Headlock And Dragged To Bed by This Violent Man

While online dating has been around for some time now, mobile matchmaking apps are now taking flight. The current generation of single Muslims are just as addicted to their smartphones as their counterparts, which makes halal mobile dating a romantic convenience. Also Read - Bumble, The Online Dating App That Lets Women Make The First Move!

Although what is known as “casual dating” is often frowned upon in Islam, in the current Western world, both Muslim men and women are looking for a mate who is not only a match religiously, but also intellectually. Even for those single adults whose parents encourage their children to find a mate on their own struggle to find an outlet where they can be care-free, but also establish a connection rooted with a similar intention. Also Read - Would You Rather Send Texts or Voice Notes? 72% Say Texts: This is How Indians Are Dating in 2020

Despite the horror stories that often come with Tinder (see @tindernightmareson Instagram), these Tinder-inspired apps don’t focus on the hookup culture—instead, they cater to Muslim-Americans who are seriously getting tired of their aunties or judgmental rishteywaalis setting them up.

Minder, the Muslim twin of Tinder, launched this February—along with Salaam Swipe and Crescent—and competing with the already established MuzMatch. All four dating apps are very similar to Tinder, where users can see a few photos, a brief profile, and can swipe right if they are interested. If the other party also likes what they see, a chat feature will be enabled. On a given scale, you can choose how religious you are—moderate, conservative, or not religious—as well as if you wear a hijab or keep a beard.

All four apps have their differences; while MuzMatch is more developed, where you have the option to select your hobbies and add a guardian/wali to your correspondence, Minder is the opposite—with less features, following a simple template of adding a short and sweet profile, swiping, matching, and chatting.

Minder is less policed than its counterparts but profiles still require an approval, and only serious users with credibility are given the green light. That means users with no indication of education and careers—especially those from abroad seeking only a new life here—are discouraged to make a profile.

Minder founder, Haroon Mokhtarzada, spoke to The Daily Beast on being selective with users on the app, unlike Tinder.

“This is aimed for people that get the culture and are generally Western-raised with dual identities. We’re not looking to promote those that have too much of a foreign bent to them,” he said. “And while I’m sure they’ll be complaints, I would kindly redirect them to other sites. Finding a partner for Western Muslims is a huge problem and this app seeks to address that market.”

The problem remains huge for Muslims who are not really into online dating to begin with, but don’t have enough community mixers—or encouragement—to meet someone of the opposite sex that connects with them on every level.

For 24-year-old Halema, online dating was always never an attractive option, but now she’s reconsidering.

“Everyone—even those aunties at weddings—tell me an online profile is the way to go. For me, shaadi.com is too serious, and sometimes too focused on the biodata, not the personality,” she said.

She has only tried Minder, but is still getting used to it.

For her, the biggest struggle was meeting Muslim men in large non-Muslim campuses and neighborhoods.

“I’d love to meet more Muslim guys who like the same movies and music like me, but also fast during Ramadan, are at least spiritual, and can talk about God when the conversation begins,” she said.

While these dating apps don’t focus on the “hookup” culture of the West, finding someone whose on the same page—in terms of their Muslim-American identity—is still a struggle. Twenty-six-year-old Naima, who has tried out Muslim/ethnic and non-Muslim dating sites and apps, says she still finds users on Muslim apps too serious.

“Even though I take my faith seriously, the app is a little too matrimonial for me,” she said. “The guy I met on it was really focused on marriage. I really want to find my prince charming but I don’t want first encounters to be weighed down with the expectation of something super serious right away—that’s not fun! We don’t live in our parents world anymore and a relationship should happen organically.”

For Muslim-Americans, Islamic dating apps are just beginning to scratch the surface on halal, Islamic love. The Muslim-American identity is still forming, and the connection to “finding the one” is no different.