Written by Writer’s Corps member Cara Mackler 

When you’re too busy to go out but you’re ready to meet someone new, online dating can be the perfect change of pace. We live in a digital world, so it makes sense that we’re starting to date in one, too. Having navigated my fair share of cheesy pick-up lines and bad dates, I know from experience that online dating can be just as complicated as dating IRL. With dating apps like Bumble, OKCupid, PlentyOfFish, and Tinder connecting with someone online is more convenient and complicated than ever.

Below I’ve compiled 6 things to look out for when online dating:

1. They Barely Fill Out their Profile 

An online profile creates a quick and easy place to highlight splices of someone’s life and personality. You can display your hobbies, interests, what to look for in a guy when dating, pastimes, friends, or family if you want to.

While judgment can be an unfortunate result of the quick swipe-left-or-swipe-right decision, try to look at what they are choosing to highlight about their personality through their profile picture. Are they showing off that they can rock a keg stand or that they traveled to Fiji and swam with stingrays? I’m not saying you should write someone off completely if their profile isn’t exactly well-rounded, but you can use their profile as a tool to determine if you have anything in common or if something beyond their looks intrigues you.

2. They Use Raunchy Pick-Up Lines

If you look at Tinder Nightmares, you’ll entertain yourself for hours reading through many people’s failed attempts to grab someone’s attention with a raunchy or peculiar pick-up line. Although this is entertaining for us, it’s not as entertaining if you’re the one receiving the uncomfortable and violating messages from online trolls.

How someone initiates a conversation with you will say a most popular dating apps in usa about how they view you as a person and how they might treat you as a partner. Did they comment on your body in a sexual manner or did they ask you what breed your cute dog is in your picture? You may get your fair share of cheesy pick-up lines, some can be endearing and charming while others can be crude and demeaning. Humor can be a wonderful icebreaker, but also remember you are worth more than a lame pick up line. Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to do so.

3. They Are Controlling

After the initial ice breaker conversation, what does the rest of the conversation look like? It’s always a good idea to test the waters before agreeing to meet this person IRL. Your first few conversations with someone new should be easy going. If someone is coming on really strong right away, or they pressure you to meet in person before you’re ready, feel free to pump the breaks and set some boundaries. If they don’t respect those boundaries, then they aren’t respecting you.

Additionally, if someone is giving you a checklist right away of all of the things they want in a future partner, this may be a red flag for some controlling behaviors. It’s one thing if they express their non-negotiables but it’s another thing entirely if they are listing required traits. In a healthy relationship, you should feel free to be you. If you feel like someone is already trying to change things about you to suit their needs, that’s not okay.

4. They Are Mysterious

Online dating leaves a lot up to mystery, which can be alluring and exciting to some but may also be a warning sign that you’re not getting the whole truth.

My friend agreed to go out with someone she met online and they had a really great time together. They got dinner and talked for hours, and it was overall a very nice date. She was excited to see him again and he seemed just as excited. They made plans to go out again, but he canceled last minute, saying his cat had died. After giving him some time to cope with his cat passing away, he made plans to see her again and she was thrilled. He canceled the date last minute again because he said his grandma had died. Although this seemed too tragic to be true, she gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was telling the truth. He disappeared for a couple of weeks.

When he finally reached out again, she agreed to go out with him and they had yet another wonderful date. At the end of the date, they took a cab back to his apartment. As my friend stepped out of the cab, a girl walked up to her shouting. Surprised and confused, my friend asked her what was going on. It turns out this girl was the girlfriend of the guy my friend was currently on a date with.

Looking back more closely at their conversations, it seemed more and more obvious that the signs of him lying and manipulating were there all along. He would only text at certain times of the day, he would disappear for days on end, and he used excuse after excuse to delay each date to assure his girlfriend would not be around. Moral of the story: mystery can be fun but it can also be a sign that someone is hiding something. Trust your instincts.

5. They Are Demanding

First dates with someone you’ve met online are basically blind dates. You don’t really know if this person is who they say they are until you’ve met in person. This is why having a date in a public place not only keeps you safe but gives you an out in case you aren’t really feeling it.

First impressions can be revealing. You can really get to know a lot about someone on a first date, and it’s actually possible to detect some red flags for unhealthy behaviors even in the very beginning. One example is if they are making demands early on, maybe to meet or hang out at their place rather than go out somewhere together. Another example could be if they expect you to change your schedule just to accommodate theirs, or to cancel existing plans to meet them. These types of behaviors can be the beginning of other controlling behaviors.

First dates should be exciting and flirtatious. It’s about those thrilling moments of connection and chemistry that keep you smiling all day long. This person should make you feel special, respected, and valued. If there’s even a hint of controlling, possessive, disrespectful or otherwise unhealthy behaviors, it’s likely that behavior is not going to go away.

6. Signal for Help

Most importantly, your safety is the number one priority. Always meet in a public place for the first couple of dates. If someone is pressuring you to meet somewhere why would men send naked photos on dating sites? for a first date, this what to look for in a guy when dating be uncomfortable and leave you feeling trapped if you’re not enjoying the date. Pick a place that you’re familiar with and have been before or a place where you can easily head home if things are going south.

If you are going somewhere that serves alcoholic beverages, most bartenders are using secret codes to help customers signal, privately, when they need help if they’re getting harassed or feeling unsafe on a bad date.  Another way to stay safe is to tell a friend, or multiple friends, when and where you are going out. Have them call you at a certain point throughout the date and if the date is not going well, use the phone call as an out. And remember, if you are ever abused or assaulted while on a date, it is not your fault and you can get help.

Online dating is the new way to date for many people. Like any other part of technology, it has its pros and cons. Keeping your safety a priority, online dating should be fun! So, enjoy it and hopefully, you’ll find your Tinderella story.

Now, you might get some pushback from the guy you’re dating.

The internet is flooded with relationship gurus telling women to keep their eyes peeled for red flags if they want what to look for in a guy when dating avoid dating a jerk. In case anybody was worried, it doesn’t seem like we’ll run out of bad examples any time soon, whether best dating apps miami on a reality TV show or at the local watering hole. 

The problem, what to look for in a guy when dating, it seems to me, is that this overpopulation of bums might be obscuring our ability to see the good ones for what they are. If you have your eye out for a good guy, you should be equally aware of the telltale signs of a keeper. It’d be foolish of me to tell a woman what sort of man to pursue. But as a man, I do have some insider’s perspective, if you will, into discerning the caliber of, well, a man. So never mind the red flags—here’s one man’s perspective on which qualities you should be on the lookout for.

01. He’s got a good love-hate relationship.

You can find out a lot about someone from the things they’re passionate about. Find out what somebody loves, and you’ll typically find how they spend their time, money, and emotional energy—and vice versa.

It’s not hard for me to see a common denominator in the “keepers” I know. From my experience, the guys I know who love God, family, and friends, who love helping the less fortunate and offering public service, who value personal integrity and meaningful work—these loves are not incidental to their lives. In fact, it’d be impossible for that to be the case. Men speak differently about the things they love; they defend them, and they prioritize them.

One of my best friends, Gil, stopped hanging out with one of our longtime buddies, Sal, what to look for in a guy when dating, simply because Gil didn’t like the way Sal spoke about Gil’s girlfriend. And I don’t blame him. Keeping friends close is important to Gil, but it takes second place to respecting his girlfriend and making sure she pagan singles dating site treated well—even when she is not there.

Find somebody who’s not passionate about anything? I’d say he’s got some explaining to do. Someone who’s not accustomed to loving something good won’t be very good at loving you.

On the other hand, it is just as important for a man to hate as it is for him to love. I know, I know, hate is a harsh word. And if he hates things that should never be hated, then by all means show him the curb, what to look for in a guy when dating. But there are terribly evil things out there to which the only appropriate reaction is hate. If a man doesn’t hate terrorism, rape, or gross injustice? Then we’ve got issues.

Relationships are really difficult. Just ask any married couple. And while they absolutely need love to survive, they need hatred just as much. That is, what to look for in a guy when dating, hatred of complacency, infidelity, negativity—whatever stands in the way of lasting love, what to look for in a guy when dating.

02. He makes you feel cared for.

Once upon a time I was skeptical of a female friend’s new bf. So I asked her about him, what to look for in a guy when dating, and she said, “I can honestly say I haven’t been happier with anyone else.” I what to look for in a guy when dating to myself, “Ugh, gag me.” But then she went on to say, “I just feel so sincerely cared for and affirmed despite all my flaws and weaknesses.” It was then she had my attention.

Anybody can say the right things and make you feel good for completely free singles dating sites little while. That’s what romance is—you feel good, they feel good, and everything’s rosy. But is your guy the guy who might boast about his “smooth moves,” or is what to look for in a guy when dating the type to tell a trusted friend that he truly just wants what is best for you? I know men who resemble the latter, and they are the real deal. A man who dating a shorter guy reddit for you moves beyond feelings and fulfills a deep personal need to be affirmed. It’s the difference between love and flattery.

The nice thing about looking for this quality in a man is that it’s hard to hide. A man with this quality effuses it, and he’s typically indiscriminate in showing it. It’ll show up in the way he talks to the server at a restaurant, the relationship he has with his mother, even toward strangers on the street. People this man interacts with on a daily basis are treated with respect and kindness. He’s one of the good ones.

03. He is willing to sacrifice for you.

Speaking of romance, it’s all fun and games until somebody has to sacrifice something. That’s when the rubber hits the road. Even what seems to be a made-for-the-movies love story can turn sour when one or the other stops at the “self” part and leaves out the sacrifice.

Of course, I’m not suggesting you create a scenario to test your guy’s willingness to sacrifice for you—or for others, for that matter. As I’ve written before, ultimatums aren’t playthings, and they definitely shouldn’t be used as weapons. Time will naturally offer plenty of opportunities for the man you are with to choose to put you first.or not.

As a man, I’ve seen guys who have moved hundreds of miles for a woman and guys who have completely put aside their own professional ambitions to stay at home with the kids so that their wives can keep pursuing theirs. Not all of dating a girl doing theatre know that their sacrifice will pay off, what to look for in a guy when dating. My buddy Erik was the guy who dropped everything and moved his life for a woman he thought was the one. Even though it didn’t work out with her, I know he’d do it again because he’s told me as much. But it’s not like that would surprise anybody who knows him. He’ll kuwait dating app away in the kitchen cooking for girlfriends and buddies alike, put you up in his home at a moment’s notice, and give you his complete attention if you just need to talk, regardless of whether or not it’s convenient for him. Those kinds of indications come out in the day-to-day, and are worth looking for.

Qualities of service and self-sacrifice not only indicate that a man will have a healthy relationship with you, but they also suggest that he has a healthy relationship with himself. You’ve probably heard the phrase “man up” (perhaps you’ve even told a guy to do the same). Well, guys know deep down that service is one our most innate positive qualities. We feel like a man when we are of service to others. Especially in a relationship—even though we’re not always good at them—we know that a certain level of sacrifice is required of us, what to look for in a guy when dating living up to that makes us feel good.

04, what to look for in a guy when dating. He takes action.

I’ve heard that women can tend toward what you might call a “wild” man. Maximus from Gladiator and William Wallace come to mind. From what I can tell, there’s something about these wild men that spark something deep inside a woman. But wild can come in many forms, and you’ve got to look for a man whose wild side spurs him to positive action, not reckless abandon. 

It goes back to loving what’s good and hating what’s evil, but takes it a step further by doing something about it—something great, and even heroic. 

Don’t settle for a man who simply puffs out his chest, but seek out a guy who lives his mantra every day. Don’t just look for the acts of magnanimity that everyone can see. Does he talk to the people in the room who are socially awkward or left out? Does he move around his schedule to help someone in need? Does he apologize sincerely when he does something wrong? And when he messes up, does he expect you to forgive and forget, or is he ready and willing to make things right? Look for moments like that, and you will see what I see in the men I admire.

I hope that this bit of intel on the qualities men believe make a good man will help you move beyond the red flags and what to look for in a guy when dating all the green lights.  

Photo Credit: Corynne Olivia

love & friendship

Single and looking for love? While there are always obstacles to meeting the right person, these tips can help you find lasting love and build a healthy, worthwhile relationship.

Obstacles to finding love

Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person? When you’re having trouble finding a love connection, it’s all too easy to become discouraged or buy into the destructive myths out there about dating and relationships.

Life as a single person offers many rewards, such as being free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learning how to enjoy your own company, and appreciating the quiet moments of solitude. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also seem frustrating.

For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a difficult journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Or maybe your dating history consists only of brief flings and you don’t know how to make a relationship last. You could be attracted to the wrong type of person or keep making the same bad choices over and over, due to an unresolved issue from your past, what to look for in a guy when dating. Or maybe you’re not putting yourself in the best environments to meet the right person, or that when you do, you don’t feel confident enough.

Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. Even if you’ve been burned repeatedly or have a poor track record when it comes to dating, these tips can help put you on the path what to look for in a guy when dating finding a healthy, loving relationship that lasts.

Reassess your poz gay dating app about dating and relationships

The first step to finding love is to reassess some of the misconceptions about dating and relationships that may be preventing you from finding lasting love.

Expectations about dating and finding love

When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, what to look for in a guy when dating, many of us do so with a predetermined set of (often unrealistic) expectations—such as how the person should look and behave, how the relationship should progress, and the roles each partner should fulfill. These expectations may be based on your family history, influence of your peer group, your past experiences, or even ideals portrayed in movies and TV shows. Retaining many of these unrealistic expectations can make any potential partner seem inadequate and any new relationship feel disappointing.

Consider what’s really free dating sites browse between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not.

Wants include things like occupation, intellect, and physical attributes such as height, weight, and hair color. Even if certain traits seem crucially important at first, over time you’ll often find that you’ve been needlessly limiting your choices. For example, it may be more important to find someone who is:

• Curious rather than extremely intelligent. Curious people tend to grow smarter over time, while those who are bright may languish intellectually if they lack curiosity.
• Sensual rather than sexy.
• Caring rather than beautiful or handsome.
• A little mysterious rather than glamorous.
• Humorous rather than wealthy.
• From a family with similar values to yours, rather than someone from a specific ethnic or social background.

Needs are different than wants in that needs are those qualities that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions, or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find what to look for in a guy when dating about a person by eyeing them on the street, reading their profile on a dating site, or sharing a quick cocktail at a bar before last call.

What feels right to you?

When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the relationship feel right to me?

Dating tip 1: Keep things in perspective

Don’t make your search for a relationship the center of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy, your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more interesting person when you do meet someone special.

[Read: Cultivating Happiness]

Remember that what to look for in a guy when dating impressions aren’t always reliable, especially when it comes to Internet dating. It always takes time to really get to know a person and you have to experience being with someone in a variety of situations. For example, how well does this person hold up under pressure when things don’t go well or when they’re tired, frustrated, or hungry?

Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has flaws, and for a relationship to last, you want someone to love you for the person you are, not the person you’d like to be, or the person they think you should be. Besides, what you consider a flaw may actually be something another person finds quirky and appealing. By shedding all pretense, you’ll encourage the other person to do the same, which can lead to an honest, more fulfilling relationship.

Tip 2: Build a genuine connection

The dating game can be nerve wracking. It’s only natural to worry about how you’ll come across and whether or not your date will like you. But no matter how shy or socially awkward you feel, you can overcome your nerves and self-consciousness and forge a great connection.

Focus outward, not inward. To combat first-date nerves, what to look for in a guy when dating, focus your attention on what your date is saying and doing and what’s going on around you, rather than on your internal thoughts. Staying fully present in the moment will help take your mind off worries and insecurities.

Be curious. When you’re truly curious about someone else’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it shows—and they’ll like you for it. You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting than if you spend your time trying to promote yourself to your date. And if you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there’s little point in pursuing the relationship further.

Be genuine. Showing interest in others can’t be faked. If dating is harder for guys just pretending to listen or care, your date will pick up on it. No one likes to be manipulated or placated. Rather than helping you connect and make a good impression, what to look for in a guy when dating, your efforts will most likely backfire. If you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, there is little point in pursuing the relationship further.

Pay attention. Make an effort to truly listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, do, and how they interact, you’ll quickly get to know them. Little things go a long way, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they’ve told you, and what’s going on in their life.

[Read: Effective Communication]

Put your smartphone away. You can’t truly pay attention or forge a genuine connection when you’re multitasking. Nonverbal communication—subtle gestures, expressions, and other visual cues—tell us a lot about another person, but they’re easy to miss unless you’re tuned in.

Tip 3: Put a priority on having fun

Online dating, singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating are enjoyable for some people, but for others they can feel more like high-pressure job interviews. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.

Instead of scouring dating sites or hanging out in pick-up bars, think of your time as a single person as a great opportunity to expand your social circle and participate in new events. Make having fun your focus. By pursuing activities you enjoy and putting yourself in new environments, you’ll meet new people who share similar interests and values. Even if you don’t find someone special, you will still have enjoyed yourself and what to look for in a guy when dating forged new friendships as well.

Tips for finding fun activities and like-minded people:

Tip 4: Handle rejection gracefully

At some point, everyone looking for love is going to have to deal with rejection—both as the person being rejected and the person doing the rejecting. It’s an inevitable part of dating, and never fatal. By staying positive and being honest with yourself and others, what to look for in a guy when dating, handling rejection can be far less intimidating. The key is to accept that rejection is an inevitable part of dating but to not spend too much time worrying about it. It’s never fatal.

Tips for handling rejection when dating and looking for love

Don’t take it personally. If you’re rejected after one or a few dates, the other person is likely only rejecting you for superficial reasons you have no control over—some people just prefer blondes to brunettes, chatty people to quiet ones—or because they are unable to overcome their own issues. Be grateful for early rejections—it can spare you much more pain down the road.

Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up over any mistakes you think you made. If what to look for in a guy when dating happens repeatedly, though, take some time to reflect on how you relate to others, and any problems you need to work on. Then let it go. Dealing with rejection in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience.

Acknowledge your feelings. It’s normal to feel a little hurt, resentful, disappointed, or even sad when faced with rejection. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings without trying to suppress them. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay in touch with your feelings and quickly move on from negative experiences.

Tip 5: Watch for relationship red flags

Red-flag behaviors can indicate that a relationship is not going to lead to healthy, lasting love. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to how the other person makes you feel. If you tend to feel insecure, ashamed, or undervalued, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

Common relationship red flags:

The relationship is alcohol dependent. You only communicate well—laugh, talk, make love—when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or other substances.

There’s trouble making a commitment. For some people commitment is much more difficult than others. It’s harder for them to trust others or to understand the benefits of a long-term relationship because of previous experiences or an unstable home life growing up.

[Read: Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse]

Nonverbal communication is off. Instead of wanting to connect with you, the other person’s attention is on other things like their phone or the TV.

Jealousy about adult single casual dating virginia washington dc interests. One partner doesn’t like the other spending time with friends and family members outside of the relationship.

Controlling behavior. There is a desire on the part of one person to control the other, and stop them from having independent thoughts and feelings.

The relationship is exclusively sexual. There is no interest in the other person other than a physical one. A meaningful and fulfilling relationship depends on more than just good sex.

No one-on-one time. One partner only wants to be with the other as part of a group of people. If there’s no desire to spend quality time alone with you, outside of the bedroom, it can signify a greater issue.

Tip 6: Deal with trust issues

Mutual trust is a cornerstone of any close personal relationship. Trust doesn’t happen overnight; it develops over time as your connection with another person deepens. However, if you’re someone with trust issues—someone who’s been betrayed, traumatized, or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment bond—then you may find it impossible to trust others and find lasting love.

If you have trust issues, your romantic relationships will be dominated by fear—fear of being betrayed by the other person, fear of being let down, or fear of feeling vulnerable. But it is possible to learn to trust others. By working with the right therapist or in a supportive group therapy setting, you can identify the source of your mistrust and explore ways to build richer, more fulfilling relationships.

Tip 7: Nurture your budding relationship

Finding the right person is just the beginning of the journey, not the destination. In order to move from casual dating to a committed, loving relationship, you need to nurture that new connection.

To nurture your relationship:

Invest in it. No relationship will run smoothly without regular attention, and the more you invest in each other, what to look for in a guy when dating, facebook dating app download more you’ll grow. Find activities you can enjoy together and commit to spending the time to partake in them, even when you’re busy or stressed.

Communicate openly. Your partner is not a mind reader, so tell them how you feel. When you both feel comfortable expressing your needs, fears, and desires, the bond between you will become stronger and deeper.

Resolve conflict by fighting fair. No matter how you approach the differences in your relationship, it’s important that you aren’t fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express the issues that bother you and to be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

[Read: Managing Conflict with Humor]

Be open to change. All relationships change over time. What you want from a relationship at the beginning may be very different from what you and your partner want a few months or years down the road. Accepting what to look for in a guy when dating in a healthy relationship should not only make you happier, but also make you a better person: kinder, more empathic, and more generous.

Finding your person is no easy task. And sometimes it feels like the dating pool is filled with too many frogs, not nearly enough princes (thanks, Meghan Markle). So we sat down with three relationship experts, including husband and wife marriage counselor duo and authors of the 30th Anniversary edition of Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D, and marriage and family therapist Amy McMahan, MS, LMFTA, to find out what women are (and should!) be looking for in Mr. Right.

1. Chemistry

Don't feel bad the next time you turn someone down because "the chemistry" just isn't there. McMahan says initially women are drawn to men based on attraction. "We think to ourselves, can we carry on a conversation with this person? Do I feel energized when I talk to this person? These are qualities that help to establish a foundation, to form a deeper connection, and a relationship with this person," McMahan says.

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2. Vulnerability

It's difficult to build a relationship with someone who's closed off. "A man who is vulnerable has a counter-cultural willingness to step away from the power position which men are raised to feel comfortable being in," Hunt says. "For the partnership to happen, a man has to be willing to be vulnerable and he has to open his heart in order for that to happen." And heads up, ladies: this goes for you too.

3. Stability

This is a big one, because it has three parts. "Stability means emotionally stable (so what to look for in a guy when dating flying off at the handle), then economically stable, and also relationally stable," Hendrix says. If you're not familiar with the third part, Hendrix explains that it means you can count on him to be predictable, reliable, and that he's essentially someone you could rely on if you owned a home together or had a child with him.

4. Equality

If you've ever felt less than or silenced in a relationship, it might be because your partner wasn't treating you as their equal. "The cultural discrepancy between equality that's been around for thousands of years where women were unequal to men in every way, socially, economically, politically sexually, that's changing," Hendrix says. "Now women want to be seen as equals to men and not have to compete with men for dominance."

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5. Awareness

It's okay to want to influence (not change) your partner. In fact, McMahan says research by John M. Gottman (who studied what makes happy couples happy) shows that relationships are more successful when cougars only dating site allow themselves to be influenced by their partners. "The majority of women already do this according to research, but it's not the same for men," McMahan says. Being open to being influenced means the man shows awareness of his partner's emotions and needs, and responds to them.

6. Emotional Presence

That means someone who stays focused on the talker — rather than looking at their cell phone or other distractions — but this goes both ways. A woman should be emotionally present while her significant other is talking, and she should expect him to do the same in return. But being present also includes being responsive, Hendrix says. Meaning when someone texts or calls their partner, the other person should respond as soon as possible, or let them know if it's going to be awhile before they can respond.

7. Curiosity (About Her!)

It's important that you feel like your partner is interested in you. "We tell [couples] to shift from judgement to curiosity. Instead of judging a person about their actions and what they do, be curious about it. Wonder why they dress that way or why they act like this," Hunt says. However, she warns that you don't want a person who interviews or grills you in conversation.

8. Protectiveness

Hendrix says this one is non-negotiable. "Women want to be with someone who they feel safe with at all times. They want to say 'With you I feel safe. I don't have to be defensive. I know that when I'm around you, I'm going to be okay,'" Hendrix says.

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9. Acceptance

If your man is trying to change you, then he isn't the man for you. "[Women] should be looking for a man who isn't assessing them and constantly trying to upgrade them or improve them," Hendrix says. "We tell our daughter when you feel dating sites for billionaires by the guy, export him to the door or leave yourself." When someone criticizes or judges you, they're saying you're not okay as you are, you have to change and then I'll accept you, says Hendrix.

10. Assertiveness

You don't want someone who doesn't ask what to look for in a guy when dating what he wants. "It's one of the most important things that allows a relationship to thrive well," Hunt says. "And so many men can't do that. They don't feel like they can ask for anything, so they don't tell the woman they're dating that they'd like a back rub every now and then or what to look for in a guy when dating foot rub." Hunt says that healthy couples tell each other what they need and what actions make them feel most loved and cared about.

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