Best polyamory dating app

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best polyamory dating app

Because of many unique features, this poly dating app has best a lot ios popularity since polyamory launch. By using apps Feeld app, you can freely express your. I find OkCupid the best app for polyamorous dating because there are a lot of non-monogamous people on there and you can filter out anyone who. That's of course where the dating apps come in. However I'm not sure what app to try, I know most apps focus on the mono and while I know I can.

Best polyamory dating app - suggest

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ICYMI, there are *so* many dating apps out there nowadays. From Hinge to Bumble to Tinder, if you’re out there in the ~dating world~ odds are that you’ve tried them all. But what about people who identify as polyamorous? It’s a little more difficult to navigate those apps when you’re poly (more on that later), which is why there are great apps out there specifically dedicated to those seeking polyamorous connections.

First things first, what does it mean to be polyamorous, exactly, and how common is polyamory? "Being polyamorous is being in a relationship with more than one person," explains Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach, sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life. (Think of it like this: Monogamy means "one" and "poly" means many.) "These are two relationship styles, but both are equally valid," says Engle. Polyamory basically boils down to being non-monogamous in a consensual, ethical way, partnered with opening your heart to more than just one person at a time.

So, what does the term "ethical" mean in this case, since, TBH, it can be subjective? In short, polyamorous relationships can be structured in a bunch of different ways (maybe one person is the primary partner, maybe everyone’s on an even playing field, etc.), but being ethically non-monogamous is a way to ensure that everyone involved in the relationship is comfortable with the situation, explains Women’s Health advisory board member Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a New York-based therapist and author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.

TL;DR, it’s all about communication, transparency, and most importantly, consent in your relationship, Carmichael explains. Because polyamorous relationships involve multiple people, everyone being on the same page is crucial. That said, let’s get into the fun stuff. If you’re polyamorous and you want to spice up your dating life by hopping on some new platforms, we've got you covered. These are the absolute best polyamory dating apps, according to experts.

1. "Traditional" Apps Like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, etc.

If you’re planning to use one of the more traditionally "monogamous" apps like Hinge or Bumble, there are a few helpful notes for your profile to signify that you’re looking for more than one partner. First, make sure you state that you’re ethically non-monogamous (ENM) in your profile, says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist based in Hawaii. For seeking other polyamorous individuals, you can also write that you’re seeking "like-minded folks."

Looking to add a third party to your current duo? Just make that clear, and ensure that both you and your current partner have account access, Engle explains. It may help to even set boundaries with that partner so that you’re using it together rather than separately. "Total transparency is needed to make this work," Engle says. "Don't be cagey or coy, because that is coming from a place of dishonesty, which is not a good place to start." Noted!

2. Feeld

PSA: Feeld is one of the best apps out there for poly folks, according to Engle. "People have better overall experiences with this app, as it's meant for open relationships and those looking to explore alternative-style sex, such as kinks," Engle says.

In short, Feeld encourages you to be yourself on the platform, Brito says, even if that includes seeing several people. (AKA, it’s a breath of fresh air.)

3. #Open

Ever heard of #open? "It’s a new app built on the concept of non-monogamous dating," says Engle.

So yep, this app is literally designed for polyamorous, ENM, and open people. They have a breadth of virtual and IRL community events, too, so you can get a jump start on meeting your next crush ASAP, all while being surrounded by like-minded people.

4. Ashley Madison

You’ve probably heard of Ashley Madison, the website known for affairs and discreet dating. "It’s popular but controversial," says Brito. "Lots of folks use it."

Now in app format too, the site claims that the service is legit for everyone, including polyamorous individuals specifically, Brito notes. The main tenet is that Ashley Madison is a judgment-free zone, which means it’s also a place where poly people can explore their sexuality and date, too.

5. BiCupid

"This app caters to bisexual folks seeking polyamory," Brito explains. In short, BiCupid is for everyone who’s into a wide range of relationship styles. Whether you’re looking to add a third to your current relationship, want to meet more single polyamorous people, or just want to chat with other bi-identified folks, you can do that on BiCupid.

6. OkCupid

No, OkCupid isn’t specifically known for its polyamorous community, but it actually *does* now have features that allow you to express your polyamory identity, says Brito. This means that you can search and match with other polyamorous people on the app seeking both short-term connections and longer-term relationships in your area.

7. Downdating

Up for hookups, specifically? Downdating is the app for you, says Brito. It allows you to select whether you’d specifically like to go on a date or just ~hook up~ with a certain person, which the company feels is a more honest and mature way to approach dating. If you’re poly, this means that you have the opportunity for a variety of different experiences at your disposal.

8. MoreThanOne

MoreThanOne is designed *specifically* for polyamorous folks. The app is for both single polyamorous people as well as for open, ethical, non-monogamous relationships. And, yes, according to the app, it’s welcoming of all genders, sexualities, and identities, in case you’re not about putting labels on any of your own identities.

9. PolyFinda

Another app built to fill a gap in the polyamorous dating space, PolyFinda lets you navigate dating the way you want. It was made for all genders and preferences by members of the polyamorous community, and you’re encouraged to put all of your information out there: State whether you’re in a pair and looking to add more members to your relationship, any characteristics about the people you’re looking for, or whether or not you’re in the mood for something casual.

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Polyamorous dating sites and apps

One of the easiest and most transparent ways to meet other non-monogamous people is online. While there sadly aren’t many great polyamorous dating sites currently, there’s a range of apps that allow you to be very upfront about your relationships. Luckily for you, I’ve pretty much tried them all so you can read about the best and the worst ones below.

I’ve also discussed how queer-friendly each app is, especially when it comes to queer women and trans people. I also should point out that I live in London, so these are the best apps I’ve found for polyamorous people in the UK. If you live in the US, I’ve included some links to other polyamorous dating sites and apps that I’ve come across but not tried myself. Comment below and let me know if you have another one to recommend.

➡️ Discover polyamorous podcasts, TV shows and more!

OkCupid

Widely considered to be one of the best apps for open relationships and non-monogamous dating, OkCupid works on a platform that matches people based on their profile categories (such as sexuality, gender identity and relationship status) and their answers to questions about your life, giving people a percentage match based on their algorithm of compatibility.

I find OkCupid the best app for polyamorous dating because there are a lot of non-monogamous people on there and you can filter out anyone who identifies as straight. As someone who usually dates other queer-identified people, this is a huge benefit for me, so I don’t have to spend hours scrolling through cis straight men. Plus, you can link your profile to one (yes, just one) of your partners, which helps build a clearer picture of your non-monogamous status. Also, if you aren’t into apps or are trying to spend less time on your phone, their dating site is just as good for swiping and connecting with people.

#open

I discovered the #open dating app after the founders were interviewed on the podcast Multiamory. I was really impressed to hear that not only is a dating app that is specifically for the sex-positive and non-monogamous communities. They also don’t share anything with Facebook – so no linked log-ins and therefore no dating sharing.

This polyamorous dating app is still in the early days of development, so there aren’t loads of people on here in the UK yet but there’s still enough to make it worth the effort. One of the interesting things about #open is that it’s based around hashtags, which means you can search for people with the same interests or kinks. So whether you’re into jelly or pegging, you can easily find people like you.

Feeld

Polyamorous dating sites and apps CREDIT Unsplash-Mikael Frivold

This app was originally launched as 3nder, positioning itself as the Tinder for matching couples with people interested in threesomes (or moresomes). Since rebranding as Feeld, this app is now quite popular with people interested in ‘polyamory, kink, and alternative sexual preferences.’

This is one of my favourites apps for meeting people as it lets you swipe left on someone but still be able to see them again. It’s only if you actively hit the minus (–) button that you never see them again. So you can build up a shortlist of people you may want to connect with but aren’t sure yet. Perfect for anyone as indecisive and picky as I am. The biggest downside about Feeld for me is that you can’t filter by sexuality, so most of my time on Feeld is spent scrolling through the predominantly large amount of straight men.

Feeld is also one of the best hookup apps for couples as you have the option to link your profile with one (yes, just one) of your other partners so you can indicate that you are non-monogamous – or just mention it in your bio.

Her

This women-only dating app was recently updated to make it more inclusive of different identities and relationship models. This was definitely a great move towards making Her a lot more relevant for queer women, and while I’m yet to meet anyone great from this app, I really appreciate that everyone’s profiles are now a lot clearer about what they currently have and what they are ideally looking for.

Her now lets you list if you’re looking for a monogamous or a non-monogamous relationship, which I find hugely beneficial. Makes my swiping decisions so much easier if someone states clearly what they’re after and stops people from wasting each other’s time.

Taimi and Fiori

polyamorous dating sites CREDIT Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

I’ve listed these two apps together as they appear to be useful for the trans community (at least, from what I can tell as a cisgendered person).

Taimi was originally launched in 2017 as a dating app for gay men but quickly increased its scope to include all LGBTQI+ people. Still, it feels quite skewed towards gay men as you’re asked to identify if you’re a top, bottom or switch when you create a profile. Once I joined, I was surprised to discover loads of people who… didn’t really look that queer.

After much confused swiping, I realised that the app attracts a lot of straight men who are interested in women, both cis and trans. If you’re a trans woman and would like to share your thoughts on this app, I would love it if you could comment below. Otherwise, I didn’t find Taimi to be that diverse and after only a couple of weeks of exploring it, I deleted this app.

Fiori only launched in early 2020 but already I’m quite impressed by it. This dating app is for transgender and non-binary people plus their cisgender allies. Unlike Taimi, this app feels genuinely inclusive. I’ve even seen some cis gay men with profiles on here saying that they joined because they wanted to be part of something that was queerer than other apps.

Having only recently launched, it still doesn’t have loads of people on there but I recommend giving it a try. As someone who is quite skoliosexual, I really liked that Fiori lets you filter everyone and only see those who identify as non-binary. If you’re trans and/or non-binary and have used this app, I would love to hear your thoughts on it in the comments as well.

Tinder, Hinge and Bumble

Ah, Tinder. It’s a very open playing field. The best thing about Tinder is pretty much everyone is on there but it’s also the worst thing too. Be prepared to do a lot of swiping to find before you’ll find anyone great. People don’t add much info to their profiles and rarely read yours before they swipe right, so it takes a lot of work to find people who are ethically non-monogamous. However, it’s still worth a shot, especially when you’ve exhausted the apps above.

For me, Hinge isn’t that different from Tinder. The profile set-up does mean you have to add a little info about yourself but aside from that, the app has a pretty similar structure with a broad pool of people that you can’t filter apart from gender. That said, I have seen a couple of non-binary celebs on there recently (a certain drag queen and another model) so it clearly is becoming more popular with the queers.

Regarding Bumble Date, I say don’t bother. Even though the app has quite a feminist ethos (only women can approach men), the whole app is structured around the gender binary. It’s overwhelmingly straight and I don’t think it ever tried to match me with a woman. I’ve heard good things about Bumble BFF though if you’re looking to make new friends.

➡️Discover how I set boundaries with dating apps!

More polyamorous dating sites

Alt Playground – USA only.
FetLife – Kinky social network.
Lex – no pictures, just text and only for queers.

Subscribe for more polyamorous adventures!

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Polyamorous dating sites and apps <div><div><p>ICYMI, there are *so* many dating apps out there nowadays. From Hinge to Bumble to Tinder, if you’re out there in the ~dating world~ odds are that you’ve tried them all. But what about people who identify as polyamorous? It’s a little more difficult to navigate those apps when you’re poly (more on that later), which is why there are great apps out there specifically dedicated to those seeking polyamorous connections. </p><p>First things first, what does it mean to be polyamorous, exactly, and how common is polyamory?

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Screenshots

Description

Chat & connect on alternative dating app Feeld. From open-minded couples to curious singles, Feeld is open to everyone looking to explore their dating and relationships in a safe and private space.

Dating for humans. Feeld is the alternative dating platform for couples and singles, open to all genders and sexual identities. A space where you can explore your relationships and find your humans, Feeld is one of the largest open-minded communities worldwide.

Find your humans anywhere in the world

Connect with humans worldwide in Feeld’s new virtual cores.

Private

Be open, not exposed. Explore your relationships in a safe & private space.

For Open-Minded Humans

We offer the option to pair profiles with a partner, a lover or a curious friend and to explore Feeld as a couple.

20+ sexual identities to choose from including:

Heterosexual. Bisexual. Heteroflexible. Homosexual. Pansexual. Queer.

20+ gender identities to choose from and search for including:

Agender. Cisgender. Gender Queer. Non-Binary. Transgender.

Become Majestic

Feeld is free to use but for the full Feeld experience, there is our Majestic membership. It comes with enhanced features such as who has liked you on the app, adding private photos visible only to your Connections and enjoying more extensive privacy options.

As seen in: VICE, New York Times, Dazed & Confused, Cosmopolitan and Vanity Fair.

______

You must be at least 18 years of age to access and use Feeld.

The app is free to download and use.

Additional features are available when you join the Majestic Membership, an optional paid subscription service that funds the app’s development.

Subscriptions must be managed by the members and auto-renewal may be turned off by going to the member's Account Settings after purchase.

If you are offered a trial, the 7-day trial begins when a member signs up for the subscription through their iTunes account. The subscription will be charged on the 7th day unless the member cancels 24 hours before the 7-day trial ends.

Any unused portion of a free trial period will be forfeited when the member purchases a subscription.

To cancel the Membership, members must cancel directly through their iTunes account.

Cancellations begin at the end of the current subscription period.

All purchases are billed to the payment method that you designate when you sign up for an Apple ID as part of your iTunes account and will appear as Feeld on your iTunes statement.

All personal data is handled under the Terms and Conditions of Feeld Privacy Policy. More details can be found here: https://feeld.co/privacy.

Terms and Conditions can be found here: https://feeld.co/terms

Version 5.9.34

- It is not the end of pleasure. You can now connect with humans worldwide in Feeld’s new virtual Cores.
- You’ll also find a range of improvements throughout the app.

Ratings and Reviews

Good idea, terrible app

Probably the worst messenger I've ever used. Always "loses connection" and then the app is useless and needs to be restarted. Sort of pointless to match if it's so painful to send messages. Please fix this app.

Needs small fixes, but okay

Just downloaded this. Minor bugs everywhere. This app needs some updates. Better explanation to how the app is set up etc. This app is okay

The developer, Feeld Ltd, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy.

Data Used to Track You

The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:

Purchases
Identifiers
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Data Linked to You

The following data may be collected and linked to your identity:

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Location
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User Content
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Privacy practices may vary based on, for example, the features you use or your age. Learn More

Information

Provider

Feeld Ltd

Size

50.2 MB

Category

Lifestyle

Compatibility

iPhone: Requires iOS 11.0 or later.

iPod touch: Requires iOS 11.0 or later.

Age Rating

17+ Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content and NudityFrequent/Intense Mature/Suggestive ThemesInfrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude HumourInfrequent/Mild Cartoon or Fantasy Violence

Copyright

Price

Free

In-App Purchases

Feeld Subscription 30 days159,00 kr
Majestic Membership 30 days175,00 kr
Feeld Subscription 90 days315,00 kr
Single Ping22,00 kr
Pack of 10 Pings129,00 kr
Majestic Membership 90 days349,00 kr
Pack of 5 Pings85,00 kr
Majestic Membership 1 year1.050,00 kr

Supports

Family Sharing
Some in‑app purchases, including subscriptions, may be shareable with your family group when Family Sharing is enabled.

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Dating apps for non-monogamous relationships.

Digital dating, for in an age of polyamory.

Dating apps on the whole have done their due diligence when it comes to cultivating the traditional boy-meets-girl narrative. For lack of a better word, they’ve nailed algorithmic romance (or at least, intimacy). But still, there tends to remain a glaring oversight: What about boy-meets-girl-meets-girl? Girl-meets-boy-meets-boy? Girl-meets-boy-gets-married-meets-other-couple? Ethical non-monogamy et al.

Naturally, if we’re addressing the math, the numerical complications when we’re matching throuples and foursomes rather than neat, even pairs is a bit more complicated. Odd numbers. But that’s not to say that, in the midst of a digital era that’s hellbent on normalizing VR technology, we haven’t found ways to make it work.

So, on the basis of user reviews, shared testimonials, and the inner workings of our own dating app forays, we’ve rounded up the four absolute best apps for non-monogamous dating. Whether you’re a couple in pursuit of another couple, a set of partners looking for a third, a solo player looking for a threesome, or, well, name the form of ethical non monogamy-meets-polyamory that suits you best, there is, in fact, a smartphone route to intimacy.

OkCupid
Ok, we know this one may come as a surprise. Okcupid is typically cited among the more antiquated of digi-dating solutions. But, while it can be used in the most traditional sense, on the back end, the platform also lists an impressive number of preferences –– some of which are designated specifically for non-monogamous users. Along with setting your sexuality and your relationship status, you can also select your “relationship style” and match with other users looking for the same iteration of romance.

Feeld
Feeld is an easy vote for the most inclusive app out there: The app displays by far the lengthiest roster of selectable preferences we’ve seen to date when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity. While making an account, the vetting process is stringent to ensure that all users are, in fact, who they purport to be –– so you can rest assured that you’ll be safe swiping through. Plus, the interface allows you to publicly link with another profile if you’re a couple in pursuit of a third partner.

Tinder
Surely you’re familiar with this one. It’s the Craigslist of dating apps. While other platforms have grown to be more curated or specialized, Tinder ever remains the catch-all. It’s used as an entree to casual sex just as often as as it’s used in pursuit of more serious partnership –– and for that reason, it’s a plenty valid place to pursue non-monogamy so long as you’re frank on your profile. Let it be known what your relationship status is and what it is that you’re looking for, then, in the oh-so-wide net that is Tinder’s user base, surely you’ll encounter someone interested in the same.

3Somer
You may be shocked to learn that 3Somer is, in fact, an app dedicated to threesomes. But beyond just connecting trios (couples to singles, singles to couples, and triads of singles), the app’s user preferences allow you to specify your kinks and, more specifically, the role you’d like to play in the bedroom (or, well, whatever room). If you’re seasoned in the realm of threesomes, this might be a good one to try –– it’ll certainly help you match with someone (plural?) whose specific interests will suit yours.

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The COVID-19 pandemic changed everything, including how we view ourselves and our relationships. Dating app usage surged during the first quarter of 2020; more people than ever have come out as queer, non-binary, and transgender; and since vaccination rates have increased, so has an interest in ethical non-monogamy (ENM). And while there might not be one perfect polyamorous dating site that caters to every type of non-monogamous person, plenty of dating app options (and filters) do exist that can work for the ENM community.

I like to say I was ahead of the curve. I started practicing non-monogamy when I was 18 years old—before its surge in popularity—when my high school boyfriend and I agreed to an open relationship. Eight years later, I’m a non-monogamy educator. While I like to thank algorithms for introducing me to many of my partners, dating apps aren’t the most conducive to finding partners as a non-monogamous person. It can be hard to sift through the noise and find partners who are on the same page. Plus, the dating pool can often feel tiny.

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“It’s really hard, just by the nature of polyamory itself, to find experienced and dope polyamorous folks who aren’t saturated…no matter what app you’re on,” says Jessica Levity, polyamorous educator and entertainer. “I think ENM folks should be aware of the reality of dating app burnout. In general, using dating apps is a ‘numbers game,’ and that numbers game is even harder for ENM folks because it’s a smaller sample size.”

As a non-monogamous person, I’ve experienced this as well. No matter how many times I say I’m in a polyamorous relationship on my profile, I inevitably come upon people who immediately un-match me when they realize they can’t have me all to themselves.

So, what apps can help us navigate these difficulties? How can ENM people work their way into a world—and an online dating world—that perpetuates the concept of finding a “one and only”? Well, first we pick our battles. Then we pick our apps.

My personal experience using dating apps as a queer, non-monogamous woman

Despite meeting my first romantic female partner on Hinge, this app in particular is one of the least amenable apps for ethical non-monogamy. It is, after all, coined as “designed to be deleted,” which perpetuates monogamy, so it’s not surprising that I found it difficult to be ENM on this app.

It doesn’t give you an option in your profile to designate the level of exclusivity you desire, which isn’t expected—but paired with the fact that your bio is actually a series of answers to their preselected questions, you have to get creative if you want to make it clear you’re ethically non-monogamous.

Still, because it attracts folks who are looking for more serious (monogamous) relationships, I’ve received the most skepticism about my lifestyle on it. Most of the men I spoke to on Hinge were confused about the workings of ENM or they saw me as a challenge.

Tinder and Bumble, while not perfect, are pretty decent options for ENM folks. Their benefits have to do with numbers and simplicity. In the United States, Tinder and Bumble are the dating apps with the largest user base. Because these two apps are so popular, you’re more likely to run into others who are ethically non-monogamous—or at least open to it. The hard part: wading through the mass of humans (and bots) in order to find what you’re looking for.

Feeld and OkCupid are two of the best options for ethically non-monogamous dating. Feeld was made for ENM. Formerly called 3nder, Feeld claims to be “a sex-positive space for humans looking to explore dating beyond the norm,” and I’d say that’s true. When you make your profile, you can upload photos of yourself, link your account to a partner, and specify your “interests” and “desires.” There are a litany of options in terms of choosing your gender identity and sexuality as well as the types of accounts you want to see. If you don’t want to see couples? Cool. If you’d like to see only women? Great. It allows you to tailor toward the experience you’re looking for.

As for OkCupid, in 2014, the app added expanded gender and sexuality options for users to select. And in 2016, it added non-monogamy options. That, along with the questionnaire-driven algorithm, allows folks to more easily pursue what they’re looking for.

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But of course, my opinion isn’t the only one that matters. So I spoke with seven other folks who identify as non-monogamous about their favorites and definitely-not-favorites.

Here’s what dating apps are worth taking up storage space, according to others who identify as non-monogamous:

“I started with Feeld, which was great when I was first exploring and is incredibly [non-monogamous] friendly. It was an education and chance for me to learn a lot (especially what various abbreviations meant!) and I met some amazing people who have been really influential for me.” —Sammy, 29, London
“I gravitate more toward Tinder because the interface is better and I think it has something for everyone. [I find there can be] a lot more bi-phobia sometimes and a lot more people who are staunchly against ENM, but there’s also a lot more people who practice ENM. There’s a higher volume of users.” —Gabrielle, 28, New York
“The number and types of filters you can set on OkCupid is super helpful because I can adjust settings so that I only see folks who are non-monogamous or are open to non-monogamy, which is a feature none of the other major apps seem to offer.” —Michelle, 27, Oregon
“I felt that connections through Tinder and Hinge bred insecurity and performative detachment, whereas people on Feeld have an appetite for exploration and at the same time take a people-caring approach to their connections, which fosters a sense of openness and security in the ethically non-monogamous space.” —Kana, 23, New York
“I’ve found that apps like Tinder are more likely to draw in very casual dynamics, whereas OkCupid can be casual without the high traffic of glorified unicorn hunters (which in my opinion, are super unethical). Polyamory just felt less fetishized on OkCupid.” —Hanaa, 27, North Carolina
“I’m still active on Tinder; I like how the stakes feel low and it feels like a more casual way to just chat with people I think are cute. OkCupid makes the most sense to use for me as an ENM person. It’s so awesome to see so many other ENM folks on there, and I feel the most potential to form genuine and meaningful connections through there.” —Leah, 24, New York
“I don’t believe Tinder is great for ENM.” —Noa, 23, Colorado

Unfortunately, there will never be a perfect dating app for all non-monogamous folks. After all, we’re not a monolith. And despite ethical non-monogamy becoming more popular, the bulk of singles are still seeking more traditional relationships. That said, it is possible to find relationships that fit your needs as an ethically non-monogamous person on “regular” dating apps. You just might have to look a little deeper.

Here’s hoping dating apps evolve to become even more ENM-friendly, because the irony lies in the fact that folks who practice non-monogamy are the ideal customers for dating apps—we keep them even after we fall in love.

Gabrielle SmithGabrielle Smith is a Brooklyn based writer whose work focuses on topics like sex/love, ethical non-monogamy, mental illness, race, and identity.

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Best polyamory dating app - suggest