Looking for love is a minefield at the best of times, but if you're navigating life with a disability, it can be even trickier.

We're not just up against the usual odds of finding someone whose preferences, autistic young adults dating, politics and peculiarities match our dating a guy from spain are extra obstacles: the cliche that people with disability are inherently childlike and aren't interested in romance, the risk of predators looking for an easy target, the lingering stigma around disability and difference, and — for people on the autism spectrum — the very nature of our disability making it harder to connect and interact.

The TV show Love On The Spectrum follows several adults with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) as they meet new people and go on dates.

Throughout the program participants learn a range of social skills and dating tips.

Queenslanders Rachel, 39, and Paul, 42 (who asked we don't use their surnames), are both on the autism spectrum. They're living examples of how successful an autistic life can be: married, with children, autistic young adults dating, working and studying.

With Rachel and Paul's lived experience, and what we see on Love On The Spectrum, here are five dating tips we can all use:

1. Look for a kindred spirit

In Love On The Spectrum, autistic young adults dating, most of our lovebirds-in-waiting are trying their luck with other people also on the autism spectrum.

While there's no rule that sharing a diagnosis is key to a successful relationship, it can help to have something so significant in common.

Paul was diagnosed as a youngster while for Rachel, autistic young adults dating, like many women with ASD, it wasn't picked up until adulthood.

"It wasn't until years later that I was diagnosed as autistic, and I realised why I didn't understand the differences he was trying to explain to me in those first few weeks," Rachel says.

"It also explained why our relationship felt so 'easy' compared to other people. I had always known I was different, but I internalised that to mean there was something wrong with me or I wasn't trying hard enough."

Having similar experiences and a similar world view can help you find connection when you're looking for a partner.

2. Embrace technology

People on the autism spectrum can have an aptitude for technology, either because we tend towards nerdy interests or because human interaction can be easier through a screen.

These days, there are any number of digital wingmen to autistic young adults dating find and screen potential partners, but sometimes chatting online through something that's not about dating at all can help.

"We met on an old internet chat site called ICQ," Rachel says.

3. Have something to talk about

Once you've met someone, the next step is actually go on a date to get to know each other better.

Love On The Spectrum includes a look into pre-date planning, as relationship expert Jodi Rogers helps our hopefuls work out what to say and do.

It's very much a learned skill, autistic young adults dating, even if neurotypicals like to think it's instinctive: everyone has felt a conversation run dry and flailed around for something, anything, to break cougar dating site free awkward silence.

Having an obvious topic of conversation, like the movie you've just free vacation dating sites or the museum exhibits around you, means less flailing and one less thing to stress about in an already stressful situation.

"It's much easier to get to know someone when you are in a situation where you have something to talk about," Rachel says.

"When we first met, we talked about the movie we just saw, and then then conversation flowed onto other topics."

4. Be ready to grow and compromise

Dating for the first time is a huge learning curve, and established relationships still need maintenance.

It can be hard for anyone to admit they don't have it all figured out, but even harder for people on the spectrum if we like to set rules and find change challenging — even when we know it's for the best.

"We have had some trials along the way, but we learned to always talk about problems and not expect perfection from others," Rachel says.

"Successful relationships are ones where the couples keep working at it and continually learn new ways of problem solving."

5. Be yourself — dinosaur collection and all

It is a big cliche to just be yourself when you're dating, but as many people on ASD feel they have to put on a mask free online 3d sex dating games socialising to be accepted, autistic young adults dating, it's extra important to learn to drop that when you're dating.

Sure, you might scare someone off — but if your 4,537 action figures or your memorisation of the afternoon TV schedule from 1998 is going to be a deal-breaker, it's probably better to find out sooner than later.

Because wouldn't life be better if we all spent less time trying to be cool and impress people and spent a bit more time nerding out about dinosaurs, video games, trains and the quirky, wonderful life that make us happy?

Jodie van de Wetering is an autistic writer, performer, and generator of creative mayhem based in Rockhampton, Queensland.

As an autistic who longs for better autistic representation in media, I approached Love on the Spectrum a lot like its subjects appeared to approach their dates: excited but extremely nervous. Autistic young adults dating that this time would be different, autistic young adults dating, despite a long history of frustration and disappointment.

The five-part reality series, autistic young adults dating, which premiered on Netflix earlier this week, seemed fairly promising in theory. Dating, sex, romance and relationships might present some challenges that are unique to autistic people, but they’re hard for almost everyone, which makes love a great topic through which to explore autistic existence without making us seem autistic young adults dating an entirely alien species, or adorable animals who think they’re people. Any show that could tackle our common humanity as well as our often significant autistic young adults dating could be entertaining for both autistic and non-autistic audiences—and potentially illuminating for the latter, autistic young adults dating.

Stories about autism and love have rarely lived up to that promise in the past. But Love on the Spectrum has the potential to open minds, foster genuine empathy for its stars and maybe even spark interest in more autistic stories. The bar for autism depictions is still low (read on for more on that), but the series ambles over it by rightfully allowing its autistic subjects to speak for and at least somewhat guide their stories themselves, so that viewers can get to know them as people with individual thoughts, desires, autistic young adults dating, and needs. This might sound basic to the uninitiated, but it’s still painfully uncommon for autistic people to see any hints of our actual realities on screen.

Even in recent years, fictional takes have mostly been patronizing affairs made by and for non-autistic people. For every Keep The Change, a 2017 romantic comedy that cast autistic actors in autistic roles and valued their input, there are more movies like Adam—which is more about how hard it is to love an autistic person than how challenging it is to be an autistic person who wants to be loved—and Jane Wants A Boyfriend, which centers the titular Jane’s sister’s struggles to accept Jane over anything Jane does herself. Nonfiction storytelling can provide more opportunities for actual autistic participation, but it comes with a higher risk of exploitation, too. I thought the critically acclaimed 2015 documentary Autism in Love was a decent portrayal of autistic people working to find and maintain romantic relationships, but was later horrified to read about the ongoing mistreatment star Lindsey Nebeker says she faced during production and promotion.

Even in less obviously manipulative scenarios, I worry about what boundaries non-autistic people might unintentionally breach. It’s something I’ve experienced in my writing career, especially when I was working on my memoir. I often felt pressure to expose more than I was comfortable revealing throughout the process, especially about romantic relationships. It’s definitely left me wondering if the professionals that autistic people are trusting to facilitate the telling of our stories are truly aware of how much bullying and isolation we can face, and how the desperate need to avoid more of those experiences could possibly autistic young adults dating us eager to please and a bit too malleable. And how easily a lack of understanding surrounding this potential issue could lead producers and editors of a reality show to unwittingly nudge participants toward stories and behaviors that autistic young adults dating not be the healthiest for their ongoing post-show existence as real people who have to live with the consequences of what has been filmed, streamed, discussed, and possibly memed—or even particularly best muslim dating sites to who they were and what they really wanted to do at the time of autistic young adults dating.

As uneasy as I am, though, I’m still open to almost all new autism-related entertainment that comes out. Pop culture helped me better understand non-autistic people and the world around me. I remain convinced that it has the potential to be just as powerful in reverse.

Love on the Spectrum is, by and large, seemingly well-meaning and intermittently charming. It presents a relatively benign and non-judgmental look at the romantic struggles and triumphs of a variety of different individuals on the spectrum. Some have already found love and are navigating the challenges of long-term relationships and major life changes. Most are still on the hunt. Occasionally Jodi Rogers, a relationship expert who works with autistic people, shows up to offer advice. A narrator erratically offers some general facts about autism in an effort to provide some greater context to the proceedings, autistic young adults dating most of the heavy lifting comes from a subject named Olivia, a self-aware and witty actor who clearly has a lot of experience trying to explain herself and all of autism to other people.

With the caveat that I have missed the signs in previous autism docs, nothing that happens onscreen suggests that anything severely untoward, manipulative, or autistic young adults dating happened during the making of the show. The circumstances leading up to the dates that the singles go on feel a touch manufactured, but the dates themselves don’t. The segments with couples Ruth and Thomas, and Sharnae and Jimmy appear to be organic enough. Creator Cian O’Clery explained in a recent interview that he consulted with psychologists who said a camera crew accompanying the subjects on dates might even help to defuse the tension and make them feel less alone. I can’t imagine feeling anything other than even more stressed and scrutinized in a situation like that, but it’s entirely possible that other autistic people could feel differently.

There are hints of fourth-wall-breaking—most notably when Amanda asks the crew if she can take a break during her date with Michael, and when Kelvin’s date, Jessica, interrupts his interview about their date to clarify a misconception. Scattered throughout the show, these moments suggest at least some of the participants were struggling with the conventions of reality television. And it made me wish they’d been able to explore that more. Dating is a confounding social construct, but making reality TV is an even more bizarre and fabricated form of human interaction. Watching the results of the cast grappling with both at the same time might have been more honest and more interesting—even if participating in reality TV is less relatable for the average viewer than going on a date.

Despite its apparent benevolence, there are also ways in which Love on the Spectrum doesn’t quite meet my lofty expectations. My major grievance with the series is the demographic of its cast, which doesn’t accurately reflect the autistic community autistic young adults dating terms of race, gender, or sexuality. My other misgivings may not occur to non-autistic viewers, but might linger in the minds of autistic ones: Is the score a bit too cutesy for a show about adults and dating? What are the cuts between awkward date moments and other, more “natural” seeming interactions among people in other parts of the venues trying to say? Would the close-ups on potentially eccentric clothing choices have happened if their subjects were neurotypical? Were the introductions that listed their subjects’ “quirky” likes and dislikes genuinely informative or infantilizing? Will audiences sympathize with the subjects, or pity them? Or maybe even laugh at them?

But it’s admittedly hard to untangle these concerns from my fears as an older autistic person feeling protective (or overprotective) of her younger counterparts. It’s not like reality unscripted programming about non-autistic love is a bastion of accuracy and perfectly fair depictions. Even the more earnest and straightforward ones aren’t perfect. There is always the risk of misrepresentation and misinterpretation. Perhaps accepting that autistic reality show stars will be subject to the same hazards as non-autistic ones—and respecting the autonomy of those who choose to participate—is its own awkward step toward equality.

Sarah Kurchak is the author of the memoir I Overcame My Autism And All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder (Douglas & McIntyre).

Contact us at letters@time.com.

Navigating the singles’ scene is not easy for anyone, whether or not you are on the autism spectrum. Nevertheless, autistic adults may need to hurdle far more obstacles than their neurotypical peers to thrive in a world of dating. Some autistic adults go through their entire adult life without having much interest in romance or dating, while others are very interested and actively pursue romantic relationships. If you are interested, this article contains some tips on getting started. If you are a parent or a friend of an autistic adult, your job is to make sure that the person knows that you are open and available for support.

Where to meet people?

Some people (including neurotypical people) say that meeting people is the hardest part of dating, autistic young adults dating. Singles often go to bars to meet each other, but in reality, very few couples actually meet at a bar “singles scene.” If you are autistic, going up to someone new in a bar and striking up a conversation may seem particularly difficult or ineffective. Rest assured, there are many other ways to meet someone.

The best place to start is to look at what you do each day. Where do you go? How do you get there? Take the time to really notice the people you encounter on public transportation and at your favorite places to visit. Be careful of your workplace, however, autistic young adults dating romantic relationships at work are often discouraged, and sometimes even forbidden. One reason for this is that it can create an awkward work environment if one person is not romantically interested in the other or if the relationship doesn’t work out for another reason.

Don’t despair if you don’t see any dating prospects while on your everyday routines. However, you may need to get out of your comfort zone in order to meet someone new. Online dating and joining a new social group may be better options for you.

Online dating websites can make it easier to get familiar with a person before meeting them. Information about another person’s likes and dislikes are available so that you can plan ahead for what to do autistic young adults dating that person or what to talk about. Some sites claim to match people based on personality and behavior traits, including how much time the individual wants to spend alone and how important a physical relationship is. Although there are some great benefits to online dating websites, autistic young adults dating, always practice caution and safety when planning to meet someone in person. While it is reasonable to assume that most people who post a profile on a dating website are there to meet someone to date, not all people are interested in a committed relationship, and unfortunately, sometimes people use these websites for deceptive purposes (for example, sexual predators, financial scams).

If meeting someone one-on-one seems like a big first step, participation in a social group or club activities is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Group activities are often less stressful than one-on-one situations because the focus is on the activity, not on making small talk. Social groups also provide the opportunity to observe typical socialization among others. MeetUp.com offers many options of social groups centered around activities and hobbies and is a way to meet people with common interests. You might also consider looking into events at a local museum or restaurant. Depending on your interests, you might find something right for you (Quizzo, karaoke, autistic young adults dating trivia, for example). The Resource Directory of the CAR Autism Roadmap™ contains a list of social groups for people on the autism spectrum, autistic young adults dating, where you can meet other autistic adults.

Will you go out with me?

There is more to asking someone out on a date than finding a person and asking them to go out with you. In particular, before asking someone on a date, autistic young adults dating, it is a good idea to try to figure out if they have any interest in going on a date with you. It is also a good idea to think about good activities to do on the date – ones that both you and your potential date will enjoy.

Detecting interest depends on reading verbal and nonverbal cues, which can be difficult for an autistic individual. Body language is an important way to judge interest, whether it is through eye contact, body orientation, or a touch on the shoulder, autistic young adults dating. It is just as important to be able to detect disinterest as it is to sense interest, but picking up on a sarcastic tone of voice or avoidance is often challenging.

Similarly it is important that you know how to appropriately show your interest in someone. You can use the cues for detecting interest to show interest as well. It is really important to understand what is and is not appropriate. For example, if it is difficult to distinguish between making a harmless, flirty joke and making a hurtful or offensive joke, try another strategy to show interest, like asking about things the person is interested in or even volunteering to help the person with a project.

Watching television shows flooded with romantic relationships can be a great educational tool. Movies that include romantic relationships will also work. Watch these with a trusted friend or family member so that you can discuss what is happening and make sure you are interpreting the all the cues. However, whether it is The Bachelor or The Notebook, make sure you understand that much of what is depicted is likely not an accurate depiction of dating in the real world.

In addition to behavior, appearances count! It is important to pay attention to personal hygiene, for example, remembering to shower and wearing deodorant and clean clothes every day.

Once you find someone that you enjoy spending time with and are attracted to, there is only so much that you can learn from body language and verbal cues. To test whether the feelings are mutual, you will eventually have to ask your special someone on a date. This isn’t easy for anyone, whether they are autistic or not! Take a deep breath and try to relax. Confidence is key, so remember that everyone is special and has unique qualities that others will find attractive.

Look for examples of “asking people out” from movies or age-related TV shows. Consider role-playing with a friend. If you are not comfortable with asking someone out in person, know that there are alternatives, such as e-mail, instant messaging, texting, or writing an old-fashioned note. In the age of electronic communication, it becomes even more important that you assess interest and character before sending an electronic message, however. Emails and text messages are easily mass-disseminated, which can cause embarrassment when sent or forwarded to unintended recipients.

When choosing what to do for a date, don’t forget to consider what the other person is interested in. Pick something that you both will have fun doing. Traditional activities might include going out to dinner, to the movies, or to a concert. But make sure whatever you choose works for you. For example, if you have sensitivity to loud noises or crowded places, a typical concert venue might not be the best choice. If you both really like live music, maybe a coffee house with an acoustic guitar is a better option. For a first date, you may want to keep it short or at least have a defined time for it. This helps reduce the anxiety over when it is time to end the date.

Dating Concerns Specific to Autistic Individuals

• Sensory issues may be a concern for an autistic adult, autistic young adults dating, especially when dating can involve physical contact, autistic young adults dating. If hugging is too much, consider hand-holding as an alternative. If the date takes place somewhere subject to loud noises and/or visual stimulation, pre-plan how you might take breaks with your date. Knowing a thing or two about self-advocacy can be a major benefit in these circumstances.
• Small talk can cover a wide range of topics, such as movies, TV shows, music, sports, theatre, autistic young adults dating, or other extracurricular activities. Practice how to express engagement in what the other person is saying and also how to tell if someone else is bored or waiting for a chance to chime in. Also be aware of sensitive vs. casual topics. For example informal conversations dating apps that want sex likes and dislikes are usually worry-free, whereas topics like politics and religion may be problematic. Although these subjects are acceptable to discuss, be sure not to perseverate on a personal belief or opinion. Focus on asking questions about the other person by thinking about what makes you who you are. Some examples include: What do you do for work? What kind of vacations do you like to go on? Do you play any sports or are you involved in any social groups? The book 4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone also may provide more ideas.
• Intimacy goes hand in hand with dating, and it is essential to be careful about physical contact when meeting someone new. Before pursuing a physical relationship, make sure that both people involved have explicitly expressed that they are comfortable with that kind of interaction and that it is what they both desire.
• Watch out for love fixations. Autistic individuals sometimes can become easily preoccupied with a subject of interest. This attribute, combined with a tendency to be steadfastly loyal, may make some autistic individuals more likely to become fixated with a particular love interest, autistic young adults dating. Think about how your actions may be perceived by the receiving party and make sure your advances are not overwhelming. Sometimes good intentions and interest can be misconstrued as stalking.

Unrequited Love… How to handle rejection?

Facing rejection can be embarrassing and painful, regardless of if you are neurotypical or on the spectrum. This is why it is important to realize the possibility of rejection when asking someone out. If you’re asking someone out face-to-face, autistic young adults dating, think about what you might say in reaction to a negative response, like “Alright, no problem. Maybe I’ll see you around,” and walking away. No matter what, never get down on yourself, don’t take it personally, and always remember the age-old saying, “There are hundreds of fish in the sea!”

Safety

Whenever meeting someone new, safety should be a top priority. Getting together in public spaces, like a restaurant or museum is a good idea when getting to know someone and developing a trusting bond. Given that sexuality is a pertinent component of romantic relationships in adulthood, physical and emotional safety autistic young adults dating be considered. For more on sexuality and lesbian dating chat free to stay protected when the topic of sex arises, visit the Public Safety section of the CAR Autism Roadmap™.

Marriage

Many autistic individuals do get married and have children, whether their partner is autistic or neurotypical. Plenty of neurotypical people and autsitic people autistic young adults dating choose not to get married. Remember that marriage is a personal preference, not a rule. Like any relationship, it autistic young adults dating hard work, honesty, autistic young adults dating, and openness. Similar expectations, autistic young adults dating, lifestyles, and needs all contribute to a successful relationship, regardless of neurology.

The Bottom Line

Dating should be something that contributes to the happiness in your life, autistic young adults dating. Although it can be very challenging and confusing at times, try to use all experiences with dating as opportunities to grow and learn about yourself and the people you are interested in. The very last line: Be yourself, have fun, and stay safe!

Related Articles:

Additional Resources:

Autism dating can be quite a daunting and challenging part of growing up for both the people with autism and their parents. People that are on the autism spectrum often misread body language, lack scripting and appropriate skills to initiate relationships, and cannot always communicate what is on their minds.

Activities like speed dating can cause an individual’s sensory system to overreact. This could be due to potential loud noises and music, flashing lights, and abrupt changes.

Intense interests that are commonly found in autistic individuals can also deter a potential partner because they are based on the person’s own needs and interests. A particular interest or topic could take over the overall conversation before they realize something is the matter because the other person will no longer talk or be interested.

The need to connect with others in this world is important to everyone, including those within the autistic community. While many people are able to spend time and really connect with a person while maintaining the social norms necessary to date, this can be difficult for an autistic person. However, this can be remedied quickly once they are made aware and can practice the skills necessary.

Relationship challenges for those on the autism spectrum

A common misconception by many is that an autistic person is unable to have a romantic relationship. It is thought that they are not self aware enough and lack the social skills to connect and make the big time decisions necessary for a potential date.

That is the furthest thing from the truth. There are people on the autism spectrum that could make their main interest dating and the one person they have a committed relationship with.

Individuals with high functioning autism may be interested in online dating or even a double date with a trusted friend. It is important to talk to autistic people about online safety and have a protocol in place to keep them safe.

This is true for autistic teens as well as adults. With all the electronic communication available, there are dangers that need to be taught.

Is it hard to date someone with autism?

There is a show on Netflix called Love On The Spectrum, which follows young autistic adults as they navigate relationships, dating, and falling in love. There are individuals that have a meaningful connection and  form a committed relationship after their dating relationship takes the next step.

Difficult moments when making eye autistic young adults dating, understanding certain situations and feelings, and maintaining conversation were difficult. There was one date where a cast autistic young adults dating, Michael, autistic young adults dating, goes on his first date and is asking his date questions. She becomes overwhelmed and the date is ended, autistic young adults dating, leaving Michael wondering if he did something wrong.

Having a level of self awareness and an awareness of the surroundings and the other person on the date is difficult even for neurotypical people, so when it comes to people with autism, having romantic relationships can be a challenge. This can lead people to think that dating someone with autism is challenging.

An interview by Hurlbutt and Chalmers with an adult male on the autism spectrum indicated that the man felt he “drove away” women because of how often he called them and didn’t recognize their feeling like they were being harassed. It can only take a moment of misunderstanding feelings and body language  that can lead to feelings of harassment, affecting the dating life of autistic people.

Things can change pretty quickly when boundaries have been crossed or interest has been lost. Keeping a partner autistic young adults dating is as simple as keeping the flow back and forth and listening to what the other person is saying.

Dating tips for people with autism

Please try to remember each autistic person is as different as a fingerprint and should not be generalized. Autism and dating can go hand in hand as long as both individuals understand the needs of each other and good intentions are maintained.

Advice could be helpful from a trusted best foreign dating sites member or friend. Even having a double date with a friend  could help keep the focus on the date and the communication flowing.

Having a general education for a successful relationship, starting the education and training with elementary aged children,  and moving up to understanding other people and what is considered browse dating site and inappropriate are skills for life. This can start at home with families talking about how to treat a family member and how those relationships affect each other.

Moving forward, teaching autistic teens about the importance of good personal hygiene and how it affects their lives is a starting point.  Also, how they interact with others and discussing their feelings helps prevent misunderstandings.

Don't miss out on the Autism Parenting Summit, autistic young adults dating.
Click here to sign up now!

Explaining the changes they are experiencing  and  that they are normal helps alleviate the stress of the unknown. Also having the knowledge that everyone in the world goes through changes makes going through them a little easier, for some.

Some skills that could be taught and discussed with autistic adults, in reference to romantic relationships and dating, are to find a partner that is interested in the same topics they are. In addition to learning different cues and social norms, autistic people could learn and understand more about limits in love and, at the same time, interests of another person and a potential partner.

Autism flirting tips to keep people’s interest

Here are some top tips for people on the spectrum looking to ace flirting!

• Always be yourself
• Make eye contact, autistic young adults dating, but don’t stare
• Smile often
• Talk to the other person and figure out their interests
• Be aware of your surroundings, stay in well lit, public places
• Don’t expect too much from the first date, you’re still getting to know each other
• Don’t stress, relax and enjoy the experience
• Have fun

Dating websites and resources for people with autism

Relationships can be difficult enough without all the social pressures that are always present, autistic young adults dating. Dating websites and apps are a way to help alleviate some of the stress a person with autism can feel when seeking a potential romantic relationship.

It is important to note the importance of safe interactions through the internet, apps and in person. The individual should be aware of their limits, always pay attention to what is going on, go on a group date with someone they are just meeting, and meet in a public and well lit area while they are getting to know one another.

Dating websites and apps

Some dating apps and resources potential daters on the spectrum might want to research and consider utilizing include (among others):

The thought of romantic relationships and finding that one person can be a point of interest to a person on the spectrum, autistic young adults dating. Before they start making use of dating websites and apps though, it is essential to make sure they have the skills necessary for interactions with other people, autistic young adults dating, including a partner- knowing boundaries and limits, and safety protocols while dating can keep the date light and fun.

Safe dating practices

There are many tips and tricks to stay safe during a date. They are simple and ensure that the autistic individual going on a date knows what precautions to take that can help maintain their safety and have a plan in place for the just in case scenarios.

Safety tips

• Tell friends and family where the date will be and who will be there – Letting people know where the establishment is and who all autistic young adults dating be there is a great way to stay safe because then the family members and/or friends will know when to expect the individual back home and can check on them
• Ensure each person has their own transportation – Not needing to rely on someone else that a person hardly knows for transportation to and from a date can keep them safer and having their own transportation allows for more freedom in the date
• Meet in a public, well lit and safe spot autistic young adults dating It is never a good idea to go to someone else’s home that they don’t really know or somewhere dating app for grad students there are not a lot of people, being safe means staying where a person can be seen
• Always watch food and drinks – When around people, in general, it is always a good idea to keep check of food and drinks and to never leave them unattended
• Don’t drink too much – Staying sober, autistic young adults dating, paying attention, and always knowing what is going on helps an individual stay safe
• Go with a trusted friend or group – Going with a group of people can keep intentions light and not add unnecessary expectations to the date
• Have mace or other personal protection – It is always a good idea to have a small can of mace (if you live in a country where it is legal), and know how to properly use it, a whistle, cellphone, or other loud alarm in the event they are needed
• Always tell the truth about oneself – It is never a good idea or acceptable to lie about age or other attributes that a person may be expecting when they meet for a date
• Don’t overshare personal information – Not sharing an address, workplace, time when one is alone etc, is important when getting to know someone
• Check the person out on Google or social media – There is a lot of free information available about a person through Google and social media outlets, it allows someone to get a feel for a person before meeting them

It can be a lot of fun to go out on a date, but making sure to maintain personal safety while getting to know each other is key. Following the simple tips and tricks above can help with safety and always having a cell phone or smart watch can add more safety allowing people to relax and have fun together.

Dating on the spectrum can be fun

Nerves and the unknown can really take away from the experience of dating for anyone. If an autistic individual has the right supports in place, like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) or social skills groups, and is taught relationship building skills like conversation and learning boundaries, autistic young adults dating, dating can be a fun and safe way to meet a future partner.

Knowing what their interests are and what they have for goals will help an autistic person find a partner that could lead to more down the road. As long as they have the support they need in place and are willing to learn as they go when meeting people, there will be plenty of fun to be had.

Working on the skills and knowing goals and what they have planned for their future could help the individual with autism know what kind of partner they are looking for. Being authentic with themselves and their date is the best way to start an experience and for it to be what they are expecting.

Always keep in mind the environment of the date and if the other person has sensory aversions or is neurodiverse in their own way.  Knowing these things and being ready for them before the date can help make sure that things autistic young adults dating comfortable for everyone.

Sitting down and talking to a parent, counselor, ABA technician, or individual they trust can not only help the individual figure out what they are looking for, it can also help them build further on the social aspect of their being. As long as the individual knows about internet and date safety, knows what they are expecting, autistic young adults dating, and what is and is not acceptable behavior and talk during a date, they can have the time of their lives and have experience with romantic relationships.

References:

Hsu, K. & Mogavero, M. (2019). Dating and Courtship Behaviors Among Those with Autism Spectrum Disorder.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/332365560_Dating_and_Courtship_Behaviors_Among_Those_with_Autism_Spectrum_Disorder 

Long, S. (2017), autistic young adults dating. 10 Dating Safety Rules that could Save Your Life. https://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/814219/10-rules-for-dating-safety-1/ Organization for autism why black women are dating white men. https://researchautism.org/sex-ed-guide-dating-101/