I’m going to give you some hard truth: In the same way no one can tell you when you’re in love, there’s no way of knowing when your partner is in love. Sure, there may be some signs you can read into, but it really is one of those things that is completely singular to each individual person.

For that reason, you have some options if you are dying to know how your person is feeling. You can 1) ask them, 2) tell them how you feel and hope for the best, or 3) read the following quotes from men on the moments in life they knew they were in love, and use them as examples.

If anything, maybe hearing their responses will help you sort out your own feelings.

But just so we’re on the same page, if you’re feeling like you’re in love, it’s probably love, and it’s totally okay to share your feelings before you know if your partner loves you back.

If you still want to hear other men's perspectives though, here are the times when they knew they were in love love:

1. "When I took interest in the things she cared about. Can't say I've ever wanted to watch The Bachelorette, but here we are." —Chris A., 24

2. "I recently had a death in my family, dating this guy for four months, and the grieving process was hard. I knew how much I cared about her when she was the only one who I wanted around me during that time." —Aoki V. 26

3, dating this guy for four months. "Every time I've been in love, I just knew it was love. There was no 'aha' moment, I guess it's just something like when you know, you know." —Te A., 42

4. "I'm going to be super cliché here, but it really did just hit me randomly one night when we were watching Netflix. I'm not sure what happened, but it was like, in that moment, I knew that I'd be okay doing anything—literally anything—with that girl by my side. And be completely happy doing it." —Jaron T., 29

5, dating this guy for four months. I think it was most obvious to me when we were in an argument or fight and I could still look at her and think: 'Yeah, okay, I do love her.' If you can still have those same feelings even when things aren't going the best, that's love. But when you dating this guy for four months feel that way when things get tough, it may not be love." —Eric R., 26

6. "I knew I was ready to say 'I love you' when saying 'I like you' just wasn't cutting it in my heart. I felt like I could tell her anything about me or what was on my mind and I wouldn't be judged. I especially knew when I cared for her and her feelings as much as I did my own." —Mason M., dating this guy for four months

7. "I'm not sure if you ever know when you are ready. The first time you say it, it just happens. Afterward, you might regret just letting it slip like you did, but inside, you know you showed exactly how you felt, dating this guy for four months that's a good thing." —Aleksei C., 24

8. "My ex-girlfriend and I were best friends. The sex was great, we helped each other grow as people, and we were a great team together. Once I realized that nobody was gonna get me like she did, loving her was the easiest thing in the world, which is when I knew it was the right time to say it." —Josef G., 27

9. "When enough time goes by, and no matter how irritated she can make me, I still can't help but smile." —Kit O., 29

"Honestly, there's no way to know unless you know. Most of the time you are just guessing. I've said it once before, and I meant it from top to bottom. You're usually scared to say it, but when you know it really means something, you go ahead and say it anyway." —Christian S., 25

"I feel like 'I love you' is overused, so it takes some time for me to say it even if I do have those feelings toward them. If I were going to give it a specific length of time, I'd say typically four to five months, unless she says it first." —Alex Z., 28

“I don’t know if I have any kind of rule; I’ve been in year-long relationships where I never said it. I’ve said it a month in, three months in. It’s just when I’m feeling it. Usually when I still have butterflies when I see her, and we’re both starting to talk about meeting each other's parents. That’s usually when I can tell this is getting serious.” — Tom, 27

“I don’t say it before a month, no matter how much I like them. I feel like it scares them off.” — Luke, 28

“I said it after a week to the woman I wound up marrying. Looking back on past relationships, I was probably always quick to say ‘I love you,' but I was crazy about my wife from dating this guy for four months moment I met her.”— Ian, 26

“I never say it. Ever. I take it very seriously, and it’s not something I want to just say to anyone. I don’t throw that word around. I want to mean it when I tell my future wife I love her. I don’t think many people I know realize I take it this seriously, but I do. I don’t want to cheapen the phrase.” — Russell, 29

“Probably on average… and this is me doing my best to average it out just thinking back… but around six months or so? To be completely honest, that’s just when I feel obligated to say it.”— Anthony, 28

“I think I know if this is going to be a long-term relationship within a month or two, which is usually when I’m read to say, ‘I love you.’ But I wait until a good moment. I don’t just like, fire off a Snap the second it dawns on me. I want it to be romantic.” — Cody, 26

“I’ve said ‘I love you’ to two of my girlfriends and I married one of them. In both cases, dating this guy for four months, it was probably closer to the one year mark, but definitely before our one year anniversary.” — Jay, 29

“I have a problem. I fall in love with like, everyone. There has been more than one occasion where I was drunk and my friends had to take my phone away because I was about to tell a girl I hooked up with like, once that I loved her.” — Ethan, 25

“It’s funny. I’ve said it to someone after a few weeks, and that relationship wound up being a train wreck. The woman I’m with now, she and I took it very slow. It was months and months before we said it. And things have been going so great, dating this guy for four months. And that’s not to say falling in love fast is bad, just that falling in love slowly is perfectly fine.” — Joey, 26

“It was actually a bit of a… a point of contention with my current girlfriend. She said fairly early on. She probably said ‘I love you’ at around three months. And it wasn’t that I didn’t care about her deeply at the time, but… I just didn’t feel comfortable saying it. It took me awhile to get there. But it came up, and I felt pressured. I didn’t like the idea of saying it because she wanted me to. I eventually did say it, but on my terms.” — Brett, 28

“I think six months is kind of the epicenter of saying, ‘I love you.’ That’s a very reasonable time to say it. And I think the further away you get from six months in either direction, like either too early or too late, dating this guy for four months, it starts amatuer dating site get a little odd.” — Steven, 27

“I want to say usually between like, five-nine months. I’ve had maybe eight serious relationships where saying ‘I love you’ was even on the table. And dating this guy for four months window for me definitely wasn’t an exact science. Sometimes I felt like I was there more quickly than other times.” — Dennis, 29

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When you decide to make it official will have a lot of impact on how the relationship pans out from then on in. It sets a precedent of what kind of person you are: are you quick to form attachments, dating this guy for four months, or do your high standards make it nigh-on impossible to find someone to stick with? Are you firm and decisive, or wracked with indecision?

We can by no means come to a firm conclusion about the issue, but it’s worth a try. So without further ado, here is an exploration into when to make dating ‘official.’

Relax into it

There are two main approaches to making your decision. The first is to relax into it, go with the flow and hope for the best.

For some, making it official is a big deal. For others, dating this guy for four months, though, it’s far easier to just slip into things. If you spend a lot of time around each other, enjoy each other’s company and have good sex, dating this guy for four months, then naturally, things will eventually get more serious.

In a culture where everything is becoming more fluid, why feel the need to slap a label onto the relationship at a clearly defined time? Just go with the flow, and before you know it, you’ll be married with kids without ever having officially designated your relationship status.

The talk

Yet this approach doesn’t work for everyone. For some people uncertainty, especially in something as important as a relationship, is a curse rather than a blessing. Even if you feel content with the arrangement, the other person may not, and for the relationship to succeed, you need to be on the same page. With the advent of dating apps, there’s also a far greater possibility that they could be dating other people without you knowing about it, dating this guy for four months.

So in comes the second, more ordered approach: “the talk.” If you’ve been dating for a while, you’ve both been enjoying yourselves and you see no reason not to, simply sit down and talk to each other about whether you’re ready for a ‘proper’ relationship.

While you may think you know what the other person wants, it’s difficult to really tell without asking them, especially with someone you don’t actually know that well. Yes, you may have seen them naked, but that doesn’t mean you’ve seen their brain naked, so to speak.

Having ‘the talk’ minimises the potential for misunderstandings to creep in and ruin a good thing, and with something as important as a relationship, dating this guy for four months, you don’t really want to take the risk.

You can get a good handle not just dating this guy for four months whether or not you’re in a relationship, but on what each of you is looking for from said relationship. Not all relationships are the same, dating this guy for four months, and talking it through in this way will minimise the potential for heartbreak later on.

The two month rule

While of course it’s different for everyone, according to relationship psychologist and data analyst Claire Stott, 2 months is an optimum amount of time for the average couple to date before they start a relationship, dating this guy for four months. She describes the path up to dating this guy for four months milestone as ‘treacherous,’ since it’s difficult to really know what someone’s like after eight or nine dates; yet two months later, you have some level of a handle on the situation.

After two months, the two of you will know each other well enough to judge fairly, yet the spark won’t have fizzled out. It’s the Goldilocks moment; the romance isn’t so hot that it blinds you, but it hasn’t yet gone cold dating this guy for four months overfamiliarity.

Are you playing your love games with me?

Of course you don’t want to come across as creepy, clingy or paranoid, but if you’ve been dating someone for two months and, although they say they want a serious relationship, they haven’t deleted their dating apps, dating this guy for four months, then maybe they’re just playing love games.

Of course we would never encourage obsessive or controlling behaviour on the part of a partner, yet just be aware. You don’t really know your date at this point; you may think you do, but you’ve likely only seen them at their most carefully controlled, date-ready self, and this means that you haven’t seen the full extent of the person you’ll be dating this guy for four months.

Think of them as an old building. Sure, the façade may be ornate and lovely, but sometimes, behind this, the inside of the building is falling apart, desperately in need of renovation. Sometimes buildings are even knocked down, yet their facades left standing, legally protected as they often are.

Okay, this is a bit of a grim analogy, but you get the point: you can’t know someone until you’ve seen dating this guy for four months ugly bits. This doesn’t matter as much when you’re dating casually, but in a relationship, it matters more than anything else.

As you like it

But more importantly, do you actually like them? Do you enjoy spending time with them? If you were to wake up one morning in a world where everyone was asexual, would you still enjoy hanging out with them?

If the answer to these questions is ‘no,’ then you really need to reconsider how you fit with them. Sure, sex is great, but relationships based purely on sexual attraction tend to fizzle out rather quickly. In many ways, the best modern relationships are best friendships with added sex!

A useful way to find this out, dating this guy for four months, rather than simply deciding yourself (which is dreadfully unreliable) is to introduce them to your friends and see if they hit it off. This can be very telling: remember Smithy’s new girlfriend from the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special? It was clear to everyone else immediately that they weren’t a good couple; the more uptight Sonia didn’t fit with the laidback, borderline debauched Barry Island/Essex crowd, and least of all with Smithy himself. Yet the poor bloke was blind to it.

Close friends know you very well, in some ways better than your family and even yourself; they’ve seen you at your absolute worst as well as your best and know whether a new relationship would be likely to survive this ‘worst.’

You know a lot about each other

Have you had long chats about your political views, intimate secrets and family backgrounds? Have you seen the clutter at each other’s apartments or houses? Are you used to each other’s weird habits, tics and ways?

If you’re used to your date to this extent, the chances are you’ve built up a degree of familiarity that generates fondness, a far more durable flame than naked passion. If you’re really into someone, yet know nothing about them and can’t say exactly why you like them, it’s of course very exciting, dating this guy for four months, but the chances are you’re probably blinded by passion. If you know a lot about them and still like them, then your relationship will be more durable.

You just can’t help yourself

On the other hand, romantic passion is one of the most powerful human emotions and embracing it, as long as it’s with the right person, will be one of the greatest experiences of your life.

Are you breaking dating rules with them? Are you texting them before the decreed hour wait is up? Are you befriending them on Facebook and following them on Instagram before it’s socially acceptable?

If you’re still doing this kind of thing weeks and weeks later, if you’re still this crazy about them after two months, dating this guy for four months, then chances are you’ve picked someone you will at least have an experience with. Bare romantic passion isn’t always durable, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth experiencing.

When you’re dating someone new, it’s always fun and exciting in the beginning, but when you hit the two to three-month mark, many women suddenly experience what seems as though this new guy is showing less interest, pulling away, and possibly even showing signs of ghosting her altogether.

In these situations, it seems as though the dynamics of your still-fresh relationship are suddenly changing overnight, leaving woman after woman wondering what men want and what they are thinking, with no real clue as to how to turn things around and get this guy to fall in love like it seemed he was just about to.

RELATED: Why Men Suddenly End Relationships When Women Start Falling In Love

When a man suddenly loses interest at this critical stage in romantic relationships, it's likely that one of a few common scenarios occurred.

Here are 5 common reasons guys suddenly pull away and ghost you after dating for months — plus how to get him to fall in love with you instead!

1. You’re on different relationship timelines.

Understanding relationship timelines is critical when you’re looking for a committed relationship. In the first months, men are simply just dating to see if they’re keen to pursue the relationship further. Women, on the other hand, will want to turn dating into a relationship right away, especially if they are attracted to the guy. The month mark is when he’s likely to decide whether a relationship has potential.

Women tend to fall quickly at the beginning of a relationship but this is typically just infatuation.

It’s important to remember that the people we date at the very beginning are the best representation of themselves. You don’t really know what you’re for until month six. Men generally take longer to decide whether they want a relationship with someone and when you don’t give them enough space to decide, they feel pressured and run.

This brings me to my next point

2. You don’t give him enough space to decide what he wants.

Building on the previous point, most men need time and space to decide what he wants. Remember that in months he’s still deciding whether this relationship should progress. But if a woman is pushing the ‘what are we’ talk too early or making plans about their future (without him agreeing to it), he’ll feel pressured to make you happy.

If he feels he can’t do that, he’ll run. There are ways to ask for the relationship you want with a guy without chasing him away.

3. He’s lost interest but is afraid to tell you.

Some people just hate confrontation. Some guys will go out of their way to be unavailable and undesirable just so you can initiate the break-up with him.

You may never get closure as to why he bailed on the relationship. It could be that he found someone else who was more suited or that the chemistry wasn’t strong enough.

4. The infatuation is no longer there.

Infatuation and attraction are what bring people together but what keeps people together are emotional connection and shared values. But the reality is that we don’t get to the emotional connection and shared values till a few dates in.

As you get to know people you may find you and them are only suited for each other short term. I always encourage the women I coach to take their time to evaluate a match before seeing them exclusively. This prevents them from investing in month relationships that fizzle.

5. You stepped too far into your masculine energy.

In every relationship there is a balance of masculine and feminine energy, and it can be interchangeable. This means that a guy can hold the feminine while a woman can hold the masculine. Like in dancing, someone must take the lead. In the context of a relationship, when a guy stops leading, the woman may be inclined to pick up the slack and take the lead. Most assume that this is perfectly fine and it is if a guy wants to be chased rather than the one doing the chasing.

When a woman and man switch roles in a relationship, it can throw the dynamic of the relationship into unfamiliar territory. Once a woman takes that role of the masculine and initiates everything in a relationship, it’s hard for a guy to take his place, especially if he’s used to leading in a relationship.

I’ve seen many women freak out when they haven’t heard from a guy in a day or two, but that's too soon to be wondering if he’s pulled away.

Resist the urge to take on the role of the chaser. There are ways to receive and be chased without playing games and being manipulative.

RELATED: How To Get A Man To Chase You

Here are a few proactive things you can do before the next time a guy pulls away:

Take care not to become heavily invested too early.

Some women (and men) give % to a relationship before a relationship really exists. They’ll do all the things a girlfriend or boyfriend would do and then get disappointed when it’s not reciprocated.

To avoid this, I always suggest matching the level of investment the other person has put into the relationship. It takes two to build a relationship, you don’t want to build it alone only to have no one show up.

Give him a safe space to express himself.

We often suppress what we really want to say because we’re afraid of being judged. Men often ghost women because the thought of confrontation filled their minds with scenes of you creating drama based on your disappointment, and no guy wants a woman to feel or act that way. They just want to be heard.

If you really want to know why a guy is keeping his distance, you need to let him know that it’s safe to express how he feels from the beginning. Make it known that you will genuinely be fine and accept however he feels about your relationship as it progresses.

If you feel a guy is pulling away, there are a few ways you can talk to him about it:

Acknowledge the distance but put the ball into his court by saying something like, “I have so much fun with you but I get the feeling that you may have other priorities right now. Would love to bring the fun back but I’ll leave it up to you to decide what happens next," or you can go with something short and cheeky like, “I miss those weekly dinners at our spot."

Either of these messages should give him enough of a prompt for him to get in touch and explain why he’s been MIA.

Remember that no one can do the work for two people in a relationship.

Set boundaries around the kinds of behavior you will and will not accept from others. We teach others how we want to be treated through the way we treat ourselves.

It’s easy to feel powerless when you feel like the other person is driving the relationship, but you have full control over what you will and will not tolerate.

RELATED: 5 Reasons Men Pull Away From Good Relationships

Iona Yeung is a dating and relationship coach for single women who need a little guidance to attract the love they deeply crave. To learn more, check out her Goodbye Casual Dating course now.

As if finding love through boundless dating apps wasn't mystifying enough, determining when it's time for you and your S.O. to update your statuses to "In a Relationship" is a completely different conundrum. Even if sparks are flying on every date and you have incredible chemistry between the sheets, it isn't necessarily a guarantee that you're headed past the "just seeing each other" stage.

Whether you're looking to play the field or you're ready to get serious about finding "the one," it helps to know the point of casual dating and how to tell when it's becoming long-term. As with any relationship—romantic or otherwise—keep in mind that you should always communicate your expectations to avoid being blindsided. Desires for monogamy can vary from person to person. So how do you know if your partner wants to keep it casual or if you're heading toward a serious relationship? It can start with setting boundaries (and whether that includes other people).

Read on to learn what it means to be casually dating, and when it's time to make it official.

Casual Dating

When you can't get someone off your mind, it can be especially hard if you don't know what they want. Is it turning into something more, or do they just think you're friends with benefits? At the beginning of a relationship, it's important to discuss your intentions. That doesn't mean you'll have all the answers from the start—some relationships start casually, and not everyone needs the same amount of time to make it official. If your partner hints at a future where you're exclusive, they're likely open to the possibility of a relationship. On the other hand, they might keep a guarded schedule and prioritize their time with other people.

According to a report from the Pew Research Center, about 50 percent of all single people aren't interested in a serious relationship. Another 10 percent are strictly looking for casual dates. If you're hoping to get serious with your casual partner, those odds may not be encouraging…but like all matters of the heart, the best way to know what they want comes down to communication. "One problem with friends with benefits is that people [seldom] talk about their expectations or feelings," says expert Paul Joannides, Psy.D. "They don’t talk with each other about their relationship, which is still a relationship of sorts, even if it’s not filled with 'I love you’s.'"

For many people, the beauty of casual dating is that it doesn't have to be exclusive. If you've just left a serious relationship, you may not be ready to settle down anytime soon. You might also still be finding yourself—so if one person can't meet all your needs right now, it's okay to focus on you while exploring what you want from a partner.

Dating Exclusively

The halfway point between casual dating and serious relationships is often a gray area of "dating exclusively." This is a great time to feel out whether your partner is right for you. You may not be committed to the long haul yet, but you're both ready to agree that you won't see other people for the time being.

When you've decided to be exclusive, you might treat each other as serious partners without the weight of a full-on relationship. Take time to get to know your partner and understand their values, romantic desires, and interests to ensure they align with yours. It's also a time for exploring what life would be like together—go on dates, try new things, and be vulnerable with your thoughts or concerns. "Good relationships start with good decisions and evaluating your beliefs about relationships and love before you start a relationship is the most important thing you can do. You must be sure that your expectations are realistic in order to have a happy and functional long-term relationship," says licensed clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, Psy.D. In this stage of dating, it's important to decide whether this person highlights your best self or if you're seeing red flags. "The purpose of a romantic union is to provide support and bring out the best in each other so that each individual has the nourishment and strength to go out in the world and reach [their] life goals."

In a Relationship

Once you've found the right person, a committed relationship can grow. Sometimes one partner might have different views than the other, so be sure to communicate your feelings. This is a time for setting boundaries and discussing your future. The decision to make it official can be exciting, but it's important to set yourselves up for success: Be sure you both expect the same things in terms of commitment, and you're not bringing past burdens to your new S.O.

"Think now about the relationship dynamics that typically evolve over the course of the months or years with your own partners," says expert Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. "Do you have trouble communicating your feelings? Do you tend to get involved in petty arguments? Does it bother you when your partner pays attention to other people?" Issues from previous relationships may carry over, so be honest when evaluating yourself. If you've experienced patterns of problems with your exes, it's possible—even likely—that they could happen again. Take time to communicate any worries to your partner so you both know what is and isn't acceptable in your future.

When to Break Things Off

Breaking up is never easy, but it's safe to say that ghosting is harmful to both people. If you're unhappy with your casual partner, express your feelings while being careful to respect the other person. Another sign that it's time to reconsider your relationship is if you're emotionally cheating. It might feel awkward to break up with someone you're not dating, but it's best to communicate clearly about where you stand. On the flip side, if your casual partner seems like their mind is somewhere else, it may be a sign that they're not planning to make things serious. It's still a good idea to have a conversation to let them know when you don't want to see each other anymore.

Whether you're ready to commit or you decide it's best to be on your own, casual dating has its benefits (even if the relationship ends). Dating different people is a great way to learn what you want in romance—and even learn more about yourself. So when you've met someone you like, regardless of future intentions, be open to exploring. Those laid-back relationships might even be the key to discovering your dream partner.

What Does It Mean to Be Casually Dating—And Is It Right for You?

Relationships are often marked by milestones: the first time you have sex, the first time you exchange I love you s, meeting the parents, all the way up to the major life events of engagement, marriage, and children. But when should you be hitting these milestones? A new YouGov survey asked more than 1, Americans about the ideal timeline for taking those important steps, as well as asking those who are coupled how long it took for them to get there. 

How long should you wait before having sex with a new partner? 

One in 10 Americans (10%) think it&#x;s fine for a couple to have sex within a week of starting to date. The most common attitude is that a couple should wait until they&#x;ve been seeing each other for more than a week, but less than a month (19%) or after one to three months of dating (19%). Around one in eight Americans (12%) think couples should wait until marriage to have sex.  

Men and women tend to feel differently about this. Men (38%) are more likely than women (20%) to think it&#x;s acceptable for couples to have sex within the first month of dating, with 13% of men saying it's fine for this to happen in the first week (7% of women agree).  

Among those who are married or in a serious relationship and have had sex, 15% say they had sex within a week of starting the relationship. Another 19% say they had sex after they had been dating their partner for more than a week, but less than a month. A similar percentage (21%) say they waited one to three months. 

How long should you wait before saying I love you ? 

Those three little words can mean a lot. Americans tend to say the earliest a person should say this to their partner is when they&#x;ve been dating for one to three months (19%), or perhaps even longer, four to six months (18%). Fewer think the earliest appropriate time to say it is seven to nine months in (6%) or 10 to 12 months into the relationship (7%). Relatively few (12%) think anyone should wait more than a year to tell a partner that they love them.  

Men and women also have different timelines for this. While 17% of men think it&#x;s acceptable to say I love you  within the first month of dating (including 6% who believe it&#x;s fine if this happens within a week of starting the relationship), only 9% of women agree.  

Among those who are married or in a serious relationship and have said I love you,  26% say they said those three little words after one to three months of dating. Another 17% waited a little longer (four to six months), while some pulled the trigger sooner &#x; 10% said it after they&#x;d been dating for more than a week but less than a month, and a few (6%) said it to their sweetheart within the first week of the relationship.  

How long should you wait before meeting your partner&#x;s parents? 

Just over one in five (22%) say people should wait one to three months before introducing a significant other to their parents and close family; another 22% think couples should wait a bit longer, until they&#x;ve been dating four to six months. About one in eight (12%) say a person should wait until it&#x;s been at least a year or longer in the relationship.   

One-quarter (25%) of partnered people who have reached this milestone say they introduced their significant other to their family (and/or met their partner&#x;s family) after one to three months of dating. Fewer (18%) say waited until they had been together for four to six months. 

How long should you wait before going on vacation with a partner? 

For some couples, taking a trip together is the ultimate test of compatibility. One in five (21%) Americans thinks a couple should wait at least four to six months before taking the plunge, but 14% think one to three months into dating is an appropriate time to do so. Fewer (9%) say that seven to nine months into the relationship is the earliest reasonable time to go on vacation together, while 8% think couples should wait until they&#x;ve been together for 10 to 12 months. A few (6%) even think that a couple should wait until after marriage to travel together. 

Men (26%) are ten percentage points more likely than women (16%) to say going on a trip together can happen sometime before the four-month mark of the relationship.  

Among partnered Americans who have vacationed together, 17% say they took their first couples' trip after four to six months of dating. About one in eight (12%) did so a little sooner, after one to three months of dating.    

How long should you wait before moving in with a partner? 

About three in 10 Americans (45%) think couples should wait at least a year before shacking up, with 14% of these saying a couple should wait until they&#x;re married before moving in together. For 17%, the earliest acceptable time is after dating for more than one year but less than two years.  

Men (42%) are more likely than women (32%) to say it&#x;s fine for couples to move in together within the first year of dating. One in 10 men (and 5% of women) think the soonest a couple should do so is after dating for four to six months; 12% of men and 13% of women think that a couple ideally should have spent at least 10 to 12 months together.  

Among those who are married or in a serious relationship and living together, 17% say they moved in together after more than one year of dating, but less than two. One in nine (11%) did so a little sooner, after 10 to 12 months of dating, while an equal number did so after dating for more than two years but less than three.   

How long should you wait before buying a house with a partner? 

Buying a home is a significant commitment. About one in five Americans (22%) thinks this should be something a couple only does once they are married. About half as many (12%) say the earliest acceptable time to do so is after one year of dating (12%) and another 12% say the earliest appropriate time to buy a home is after a couple has been together for more than two years but less than three.  

Among those coupled Americans who have bought a home together, 15% say they were together for at least six years before this happened, while another 14% were together for more than two years but less than three when they purchased a home.  

How long should you wait before getting engaged? 

When is the best time to put a ring on it? A quarter (24%) of Americans say the earliest appropriate time for this is after a couple has been together for more than one year but less than two years. But a quarter (25%) are more trigger-happy &#x; they think a couple can get engaged sometime before reaching the one-year milestone of the relationship. Of these, 11% think the ideal time to get engaged is after dating for 10 to 12 months.  

Men (30%) are more likely than women (20%) to say that it&#x;s acceptable for a couple to get engaged before reaching the one-year mark. Another 21% of men and 26% of women think an appropriate time to get engaged is after dating for more than one year but less than two.  

How long should you wait before marrying someone? 

One in five (20%) Americans says the soonest a couple should think about tying the knot is after being together for more than one year but less than two. Almost as many (17%) say they shouldn&#x;t consider this before the two-to-three year mark, while 9% think the soonest you should do this is after dating for more than three years but fewer than four.  
 
Not everyone is a fan of the long game though: 16% of Americans think it&#x;s fine to get married sometime before your one-year anniversary of dating. One in five men (20%) and 13% of women feel this way.  

Among those who are married, 18% say they tied the knot after dating for more than one year but less than two; 16% waited until the two-to-three-year milestone in the relationship.  

How long should you wait before having a child with your partner? 

Popular opinion on this tends to be that couples should wait until they&#x;re married to have a baby (20% of Americans think this is the ideal time). About half as many (11%) say a couple should be together for more than one year but less than two before they procreate, while another 11% think people should wait until the two-to-three-year mark before doing this.  

Among partnered Americans who have had children, 12% say they conceived after being together for more than one year but less than two, while similar percentages had babies after they were together more than two years but less than three (11%) or more than three years but less than four (12%).  

See full results here.  

Related: Wedding do's and don'ts, according to Americans   

Methodology: 1, US adults were surveyed between July 13 - 14, The responding sample is weighted to be representative of the US population.     

Image: Gender Spectrum Collection

I found her question frustrating — but really, I was feeling frustration on HER behalf. This woman is tearing her hair out because she doesn’t know how to apply my advice on casual relationships. And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. 

I think your casual dating advice is contradictory. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a committed relationship and yet in your story, you mentioned that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Like your relationship.

So which is it? Are you always nice when they call and say “yes” to the date? Or do you move on to the next guy because this person you’re casually dating isn’t making much of an effort and isn’t ready to commit? For many people the 4 weeks of friends with benefits turn into 4 months without them noticing and by then they’re in that pattern…and the behavior becomes acceptable yet unfulfilling and it’s too late to change because you’ve been the “nice”, undemanding girl the whole time.

&#; Tanya

The first time I read this, my first inclination was to defend myself.

After all, I understand what I’m talking about!

But if Tanya is finding this grey area in casual relationships to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it.

So let’s take a real-life example of how to tell if he wants to commit, shall we?

Meet Janie and Her “Casual Relationship”

Janie is a client who signed up for Love U.

I like Janie a lot. She’s the type of client I’d be friends with in real life. Positive attitude. Good sense of humor. Understands men and their expectations and lets them be themselves.

Which is why I wasn’t at all surprised when she met a man only two weeks into our coaching sessions.

What DID surprise me is that, after the initial chemistry rush, Janie settled into a low-intensity pseudo-relationship even though it didn’t leave her at all satisfied.

Like Tanya — and my wife – she was trying to be the cool girl, but she took her decision too far.

She needed me to set her straight and show her what her partner was actually thinking and what a healthy relationship should be.

So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans to see you?

Why is a man perfectly content only seeing you once every two weeks?

Why is a man not clamoring to reserve his weekends for you, or take you on a short vacation, or meet your friends and family? 

The answer is simple:

alovex.co doesn’t want to!

If a man texts you once a week…

If he doesn’t make time to see you regularly…

If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity and bringing the relationship forward…

That’s EXACTLY the casual relationship that HE wants!

Low-intensity. Low-pressure. Low commitment. Low drama.

He wins. You lose.

alovex.co’s content. You’re not.

You don’t win this war by spending time and waiting him out and hoping he falls for you after four months or six months or one year of casual sex.

You don’t win this war by waiting him out and hoping he falls for you after four months or six months or one year of casual sex.

You win this one by assessing his efforts and concluding that you’re wasting your time looking for something that probably isn’t there.

There’s a huge difference between giving a guy six weeks to choose you over the other women he’s dating… and to be a sucker for hanging around when he isn’t ready to commit and you’re merely (and clearly) his “once a week” girl.

There’s a huge difference between giving a guy six weeks to choose you over the other women he’s dating&#; and to be a sucker for hanging around when you’re merely (and clearly) his “once a week” girl.

I call it “mirroring.”

Application of this made-up “rule” is surprisingly simple.

When you start dating someone, Don’t Do Anything. He calls, he texts, he emails – you just “mirror” his efforts during the dating phase and give him enthusiasm and warmth every time.

If he doesn’t follow through fast enough or often enough, make a mental note: “Hmm… this probably means that he’s a) dating someone else and isn’t sure whether I’m “the one” OR b) he’s just not that into me and using me for now.”

This doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. This means he’s a regular guy.

This is how we work.

I may have casually seen my wife for the first 4 weeks of our relationship, but I would always email at the end of the day to say I had fun. I was the one who was making the effort to see her more. She didn’t have to do anything except say yes and not judge me while I worked it all out in my head if I want something more committed or a serious relationship with someone.

So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or things like that.

Just spend time and evaluate your man on the effort he’s making for you..

You’ve had boyfriends before, right?

How did they act? Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love?

NO!!!

Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends.

When You Realize It’s Not Going to Turn Into a Serious Relationship&#;

So give a guy weeks to figure out if he wants to commit, if necessary. And if you don’t feel like the casual relationship is growing into a long term, serious relationship, the talk is brief and emotionless:

“Hey Adam, it’s been fun getting to know you, but I get the sense that we’re not on the same page. I need a man who is looking for a serious relationship and you don’t seem to be that guy. No hard feelings, but I’m going to go find that guy. Best of luck in your search. Take care of yourself.”

You’re free. And, yes, it’s that simple.

If he values you, he’ll fight for you.

But chances are he’ll know that you’re right. He’ll know he was using you. He’ll know that his string of good luck has come to an end. And he’ll let you go quite easily.

When the relationship is growing — like it was for me in — you may just have a moment like this:

One night, when we were eating Chinese food and watching TV, I turned to my future-bride-to-be and said, “I think you’re my girlfriend.”

She said, with a coy smile, “I think I am.”

It was that simple.

I wanted to lock her in. I let her know.

The right guy always does.

Want to gain confidence, attract quality men, and create lasting love fast? Click here to fix your broken-man picker and learn more about Love U.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. The early stages are often marked by intense and passionate emotions that gradually temper with time. As your relationship grows steadier and more comfortable, you might start to fear that it is growing a bit too well-worn—or even a little boring. 

Your relationship might be mostly free of conflict, but you still might find yourself feeling unsatisfied, tired, or just plain uninspired. So can you inject some excitement back into a monotonous relationship, or is it time to move on and find a fresh start?

This article discusses some of the signs you are in a boring relationship and some of the reasons why the shine often starts to wear off. It also covers steps you can take to fix boredom in a relationship and know if it is time to move on.

Signs of Boredom in Relationships

Some signs that you might be in a boring relationship:

• You don't feel interested about your partner's life, feelings, or interests.
• You don't pay as much attention to each other as you did at the beginning of your relationship.
• Thinking about the future of your relationship makes you feel uneasy or unhappy.
• You find spending time with other people much more enjoyable and exciting.
• You wish you could change your partner or your relationship.
• You feel like you have nothing in common.
• You have a hard time finding things to talk about.
• You don't enjoy spending time together.
• You often feel irritated or annoyed with your partner or vice versa.
• You don't feel attracted to them anymore.
• You don't appreciate each other anymore. 

It is important to remember, however, that boredom is not the same thing as being comfortable. After all, it's important to feel comfortable with your partner. It means that you trust them, and you feel like you can just be yourself when you are with the other person.

If you and your partner are happy, content, and satisfied with your relationship, then occasional less-than-exciting periods are normal and probably not harmful.

And even if these bouts of boredom are more serious and disruptive, it isn't necessarily a sign that your relationship is doomed to fail. Instead, it might indicate that it's time to make some change or invest more energy into spicing up your dating or married life.

It's when boredom signifies stagnation or lack of growth that it becomes a problem. If you aren't showing each other the time, attention, and affection that you need to thrive in a partnership, boredom can mean your relationship is heading in a negative direction.

What to Do When You No Longer Have Romantic Feelings for Your Partner

Why It Happens

The early days of your relationship with your partner were likely filled with feelings of excitement and an intense urge to spend time with one another. However, the intensity of those initial feelings often wanes over time. Instead of powerful passion, your relationship develops an increased sense of closeness, trust, and intimacy.

This is a typical sign that your relationship is moving from what is known as passionate love (which is usually more fleeting) into what is known as compassionate love (which is more enduring). 

Passionate and Compassionate Love

Feelings of excitement and ardor characterize passionate love. It can be an almost all-consuming type of love that makes you want to be with the object of your affection as much as possible. You're still getting to know one another, and everything you learn about the other person seems new and fascinating. 

When you are in the midst of passionate love, you also tend to idealize your partner. Their habits and quirks are endearing, and you tend to overlook their shortcomings. 

Compassionate love is more profound and much more intimate. It is marked by commitment, trust, and affection. People who have reached this stage of their relationship care deeply, understand one another, and support each other. 

But this doesn't mean that long-term relationships have to be boring or lack in passion. The strongest relationships strike a balance between the excitement of passionate love and the intimacy of compassionate love.

Other Reasons Why Relationships Grow Boring

Boredom in relationships can also be caused by other factors beyond this natural shift from passionate to compassionate love. Other problems that might play a role in sapping the excitement from your romantic relationship include:

• You have different interests: Your relationship can grow weary if you lack basic compatibility. If you don’t share the same goals and interests, it can be challenging to find common ground to keep you connected to one another.
• You don’t have deep or meaningful conversations: Communication is critical to a healthy relationship. If you aren’t talking seriously about your goals, feelings, opinions, and other topics, you may find that you start to grow apart over time.
• You’ve given up your own goals to stay in the relationship: If you’ve abandoned your own interests, hopes, or dreams in favor of someone else’s, it is only a matter of time before you start to grow weary of suppressing your own wants and needs. 
• You don’t have your own interests and hobbies: You also need to focus on having your own hobbies outside of your relationship. Doing so will help you feel more excited about your life in general, but it will also give you something you can talk about and share with your partner.
• You stop putting effort into your relationship: Keeping a relationship interesting means that you need to show each other interest, attention, and affection. Ignoring feelings, not spending time together, and neglecting each other’s needs are bound to contribute to feelings of boredom. 
• You don’t make an effort to combat boredom: When you start feeling bored, it is important to take steps to add excitement back into your relationship. This might involve finding new things to do together or even making other changes in your life that will address the underlying feelings of discontent. 
  

Why Are You Feeling Lonely in a Relationship?

How to Fix a Boring Relationship

Boredom can have a severe negative impact on a relationship. One older study found that people who reported feeling bored in their marriage were less satisfied in their relationship nine years later. More recent research has found that people may have an inherent psychological need for variety and novelty, which explains why boring relationships can be challenging.

There are strategies that you can utilize to infuse some excitement and energy back into a boring relationship. To improve your relationship, you should start by asking yourself a few questions:

• Are you bored, or are you just comfortable? If you are confusing the two, it might be worth spending some time thinking about your expectations and what you hope to get out of a relationship.
• What aspects of your relationship feel humdrum? Knowing what areas you'd like to focus on can give you a sense of direction when coming up with solutions.

Once you better understand the problem, you might consider implementing one or more of the following solutions.

Best Places to Get Relationship Advice of

Change How You Think

Research suggests that a strategy known as cognitive reappraisal can change how people think about love and their relationship. This process involves interpreting situations in different ways to change how you think and feel about them.

With this strategy, you might focus on looking at your partner's positive qualities and think about how those characteristics contribute to your relationship.

Change Your Routines

Feeling bored in your relationship may be a reflection of being bored in general. One way to change this is to shake up your everyday routines. Instead of eating at the same places, consider going somewhere new as a couple. Find a new hobby that the two of you can try together. Or even look for ways that you can spice things up in the bedroom. 

Research suggests that shared activities can be an effective way to combat boredom in relationships. For example, one study found that couples who tried a four-week online intervention to increase relationship excitement reported feeling greater excitement and relationship satisfaction four months later.

Go on Dates

If you’ve fallen into a rut as a couple, it might be time to take things back to basics and repeat some of the activities you enjoyed when you first began dating. Going out on a date once a week can be a great way to reconnect and talk. Focus on those feelings you had at the beginning of your relationship and practice thinking of your partner with a similar sense of excitement. 

You might make it more exciting by surprising one another. Buy tickets to see your partner’s favorite game or suggest a spontaneous adventure that you’ve been thinking about. The key is to find time for one another to focus on your relationship without other pressures or distractions.

Work Together

It’s important to remember that you should be working together to find solutions to your feelings of boredom. While you can take steps on your own to liven things up, your efforts will be much more effective if both of you are on the same page and working together to bring the excitement back into your lives. 

Get Counseling

In some cases, you might find it helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor about your relationship issues. This can be particularly true if your feelings of boredom connect to a deeper issue like a lack of communication or how you think about your relationship.

Relationship counseling can also be a great way to improve your connection to your partner and satisfaction with your relationship. One study found that people who had couples therapy reported improvements in communication and relationship satisfaction and better intimacy and responsiveness.

If you've lost interest in more than just your relationship, it is essential to realize that it might be a sign of something more. Loss of interest, also known as anhedonia, is a cardinal symptom of depression and other issues, including anxiety, bipolar disorder, and stress. Talk to a healthcare professional if you are concerned that your feelings might be more than regular boredom.

The 6 Best Online Marriage Counseling Programs of

Is the Relationship Worth Saving?

Just because the initial excitement of your relationship begins to dwindle does not mean that love fades or lessens. When it comes to relationships, you might be motivated to reduce boredom in a variety of ways. 

• First, you might choose to invest in the relationship and find new ways for you and your partner to connect. 
• Some people might feel that the situation is hopeless and live with the boredom, contributing to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. 
• Finally, some people resolve the problem by ending the relationship and pursuing potentially more exciting alternatives.

Suppose you decide that your relationship is worth saving. In that case, it is important to cope by taking the first option—invest in your relationship in ways that will increase your happiness and improve your relationship. Suffering in silence will only lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction that will negatively affect your relationship more in the long run.

But if you decide that the relationship is not worth saving, you may find that it is better to break things off now and begin looking for other relationships that are better suited to your needs and your life. Calling it quits once you recognize that a relationship is not suitable for you is often the best choice.

A Word From Verywell

It isn't unusual for relationships to get boring from time to time. Sometimes it can be a sign that you need to take steps to reinvigorate the relationship, but at other times it can be a sign of something more serious. 

The key to addressing it is to open up a line of communication with your partner. Be open and honest about how you feel. Once you both understand what is going on, you can either work together to address the problem or talk about other options, which might include couples counseling or potentially breaking up. 

Ultimately, remember that relationships aren't always effortless. They take work—even when it comes to keeping the spark alive. There's no single, simple solution that is right for every couple. However, if you are both willing to commit the time and effort, you can work together to get your relationship back on the right (more exciting and satisfying) track.

Wondering If Your Relationship Is Worth Saving? Here's How to Tell