1. Yes, everything does sound better in a English accent. Their pronunciation of the word ‘darling’ is totally swoon-worthy.

2. There will be some verbal miscommunication and it will be hilarious. Because, seriously, who knew that pants means underwear across the pond?

3. You’ll want to steal all of his jumpers (sweaters). I don’t know if British guys have more sweaters than most American guys or what the deal is. All I know is that they seem to have an abundance of soft, over-sized sweaters that you’ll want to keep forever.

4. English Pubs take day-drinking to a whole new level. Not to mention the drinking age is 18 over there so they’ve been at it much longer than you have.

5.British politeness is not just a stereotype. They could bump into a tree and will still quickly apologize.

6. Admittedly weird American things such as a carousel in the mall will seem completely alien to them. “I don’t understand it. It’s like having a driving range at the dentist office.”

7. Also, very normal American things will be fascinating to them. Be prepared to stop and look at parking meters for close to 10 minutes. THEY’RE JUST PARKING METERS CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON?

8. It’s not all sunshine and roses. Kim Quidlan put it best in her Thought Catalog article 7 Overlooked Benefits of Being in a Long-Distance Relationshipwhen she stated, “You spend so much time talking. So. Much. Time. You miss them all day, all the time. It’s like a dull ache that you can actually feel physically.”

9. You should probably brush up on your knowledge of American sports. Good luck explaining football to your confused boyfriend when you barely know what’s going on yourself.

10. You will learn to love Skype dates. Watching a movie together on Skype can even be almost as good as the real thing!

11. Tea will always be their first love. I kid you not, it is treated as a religion over there. Eight cups of tea a day isn’t seen as a problem.

12. You’re going to hear, “You’re soooo lucky you have a British boyfriend,” from everyone you meet. And although you may feel incredibly lucky to have an amazing boyfriend, living on different continents is not all it’s cracked up to be.

13. Dealing with the time difference won’t be as bad as you think. You’ll memorize the exact number of hours they are ahead of you. It’s especially easy if you happen to be dating an insomniac.

14. Hearing them pronounce words will be forever entertaining. A few of the best are squirrel, mocha, aluminum, and strawberry. You will not be disappointed.

15. They do not find your attempt at a British accent as cute and endearing as you may think. Because in reality you sound like a chimney sweep right out of Mary Poppins. However, that won’t stop you from slowly incorporating some of their slang into your everyday vocabulary. After a few months you might even be calling your friends your mates and complaining about the annoying adverts on television.

16. There will be endless conversation because you both grew up in different cultures. Your eyes will be opened to a whole new array of TV shows, music, and books!

17. PDA is basically out of the question due to their British politeness. So if you want more than just a peck on the cheek in public than you may want to look elsewhere for a boyfriend.

18. British charm is real and awesome.

Read this: 12 Things I’ll Do Differently In My Next Relationship

Interested in dating British men?

Well, okay.

If that’s your thing…

Today we have a guest post from Gemma, one of the lovely readers who responded to my now famous (or infamous) article called 7 things you should know about dating a Spanish girl.

I’ve always wondered what goes on in the minds of Spanish women (or anyone, really) who are willing to date British guys…

Unless those guys happen to be Daniel Craig or Hugh Laurie.

But turns out there are girls for other Brits too.

And – humble public servant that I am – I’d like to share what Gemma had to say about dating British men.

I hope you find it useful and interesting. And if you want to write a guest post for the blog, contact me here.

If it’s fun or interesting and Spain-related, I’m probably into it.

Anyway, here’s Gemma…

A few tips to date the Brits… and avoid a few arguments due to cultural differences

I’m very fond of the Brits, I wouldn’t be living in England if I wasn’t, and I embrace all these differences.

Having had a couple of British boyfriends has been really exciting and fulfilling but also at times a bit frustrating. These are just a few things off the top of my head.

I hope someone finds it useful, and I’m sure many of you will be able to add plenty more!

And also…

Don’t be too subtle when dating British men

I was brought up in Spain, where men use techniques to try and win women’s favours (especially in the South, where I used to spend summers at mum’s home town).

And in Spain, it’s important for a girl to stay put and not give herself too quickly, or men will lose interest and move on to the next prey.

In other words, if we wanted to be truly appreciated, we had to play hard to get.

I first came to England when I was 24 and brought my technique with me.

So if a lad set eyes on me, I would pretend not to be interested and then be disappointed when he moved on.

English men are way shier than Spanish men and more fearful of rejection or confrontation, so they don’t risk it as much as Spanish men.

I soon learnt that I had to be open, direct and a bit forward if I wanted to get some!

Also, the approach of my female English mates at uni in the Midlands helped me understand why English men don’t have to try as hard as Spanish men…

When giving advice trying to help, never start a sentence with ‘What you have to do is…’

If you’re dating a British man, it doesn’t matter what comes after or how wise and helpful the piece of advice is, it will just be taken as an offence to their power of decision.

The best answer you’ll get will be ‘Says who?’

It’s the way we speak, we care and we show our involvement like that, but what they hear is ‘I know better than you even if I know nothing of it, so just do as you’re told’ and is therefore rejected.

Say exactly the same, but change the opening to something milder such as ‘what I would probably do’, or ‘may I suggest’…

When eating in family, no means NO

And this applies to several nationalities.

I once spent a summer in France at my French boyfriend’s parents.

The first few days I left the table hungry, as when they said ‘would you like some more?’ I pulled the polite Spanish ‘no, thanks’, expecting they would insist a few more times and then I’d say ‘oh well, go on then’.

But that never happened!

I thought these people didn’t care if I starved.

And I found my boyfriend a bit rude when he was asked the same thing and straight away said ‘oh yes’. I thought he was being a bit greedy, but by day 3 I didn’t care, I was too hungry so say no and wait to be asked again.

Needless to say, when he came to my parents’ the opposite happened.

Same as with my English boyfriend. Mum is a very good cook, and a very generous one too, and she always cooks an extra portion for fear of being short but then she doesn’t want leftovers, meaning we all have to have a extra spoonful.

Try to explain that to a non-Spanish or Italian person…

And if they say Jamón Serrano is raw meat that tastes funny, just let them, there will be more left for you!

My dad used to insist that my English boyfriend had to try again, as he couldn’t conceive he didn’t like it. I asked dad to live with it and just give him another Mahou, always welcome with great pleasure.

Let them drink…

You might think they drink too much too often, but they have been brought up in a different environment.

When you’re 13 and Spanish, you have to hide from your parents when you drink booze. In some parts of England your dad takes you to the pub to proudly initiate you… and don’t you dare throw up!

So if you don’t want to sound like a bossy mother and ‘do their head in’, just accept it or move on, but don’t try to stop them, they’ll just hide it from you as we hid from our parents back in the days.

Happy hunting!

Gemma.

P.S. Here’s Gemma’s bio: Born and bred in Madrid, spent summers in Andalucía, studied “filología inglesa” between Madrid and Coventry and in 2002 I quit my crappy job in Madrid for a crappy job in Surrey. 15 years later I have had a couple of relationships (ok, three or 4) and have a cool job as a data quality analyst in a giant pharma company in London. Currently single and spending most of my salary on rent. As parents say, throwing money away. But hoping things will change sometime soon…

P.P.S. A note from Daniel – I hope you enjoyed these tips about dating British men. I agree with basically all of them… Personally, I’ve almost never turned down more food. And God help the person who ever tells me “What you have to do is…” What do you think? Hit me up, right here in the comments. Thanks!

P.P.P.S. If you like words, or blogs, or articles, you’ll definitely like my new book The Zen of Blogging, because it has all three. Get your copy today!

Pros and cons of dating a nerdy guy

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I’ve been a big nerd about British culture since I was a wee babe. I mean Harry Potter, duh, but also my aunt was married to a Brit and constantly traveling back and forth from London, subsequently passing her obsession with England on to me. I think I was probably the only 9-year-old who knew everything about King Henry’s six wives. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived – still got it!
Thankfully as a teenager, I moved on from 15th-century monarchs to David Beckham, the Spice Girls, and Bridget Jones, but my love for all things English never waned, even when I moved to London full time and dealt with some of the less fairytale-like aspects of life in the Big Smoke. Although we should be spending more time worrying about deforestation and ocean pollution, I totally understand why everyone is losing their minds over the fact that Meghan Markle is the first LA girl to marry into the royal family. Marrying a British prince is something a lot of us have been fantasizing about for ages! I mean, who can blame us?
After all, it seems like American women and British men go hand in hand. As someone I interviewed for this piece put it, “I don’t know if I could move back to America and date there again. British men are such gentlemen and polite and want to be in a relationship…it seems to match well with outgoing, louder American women!”
Although I’m a born and bred Californian, I’ve only ever dated British boys in London, so I have a bit of experience in the matter.  Mainly, two boyfriends, a dozen questionable Tinder dates, and plenty more interesting encounters in London’s various clubs, pubs, and bars, so I can tell you first-hand that not every boy with a British accent is going to sweep you off your feet, though a few might try. After looking back on my time on the London dating scene and interviewing a few friends who’ve been in Anglo-American relationships, here are five things you should be prepared for before trying to snag your own Prince Harry…

1. Ask them out first, because they probably won’t

In fact, if a British dude comes over to chat you up in a club or bar, he’s probably so drunk he can barely see. Most British men are painfully polite and no matter how many ‘come hither and ask for my damn number’ looks you shoot them, will not approach you. Though their hesitancy can be frustrating, it does put the onus on us ladies to take the initiative ourselves! #Feminism!
“They may make eye contact but that’s about as far as it goes. If a British man does approach you, that is very rare. In fact, it is so rare that people usually think they are weird or very drunk. Sadly, this is often very accurate!” – Virginia (AR, USA)

2. Brits tend to be a little more reserved

About everything except sex (skip to #5 for that one). But in general, the Brits aren’t super touchy-feely about their feelings, or their physical displays of affection, or physical displays of anything really. Like Brits will stand behind you on the escalator and stare for ages rather than actually use their voices and say, ‘excuse me’. On the other hand, we Americans are extra as hell and are out here whooping and hollering about literally anything. The stereotype about the stiff upper lip is definitely true here!
“They can be reserved in displaying affection publicly…meeting [my boyfriend’s] family is different as they are more reserved in their displays of affection. It’s weird not hearing them tell each other they love each other” – Naomi (NV, USA)

3. Remember to use your inside voice

If you do get the chance to talk to a British guy, chances are your normal voice is about 10 decibels louder than he’s used to, so you might scare him a little. In all honesty, he might need a little scaring, but just be aware that if a British guy is eyeing you with slight apprehension, it’s probably because he feels like you’re shouting or are unnecessarily excited. Proceed with caution, but never dim your shine!
“Americans: stop shouting lol we’re right here” – Charlie (London, UK)

4. Be prepared to drink. A lot. And maybe on a Tuesday

In London and the rest of the UK, going on a date almost 100% means you’re going for drinks. In America, there’s more of a mix of activities available for first dates, such as bowling or going to the movies (English people are fancy and call it the cinema). Here on Queen E’s side of the pond, all first dates inevitably involve necking 4 or 5 pints. Also, no one here has any qualms about drinking on a weeknight – something else us Americans are much more sensible about!
“First dates with Brits ALWAYS include alcohol. A coffee date is never an option. Alcohol is necessary to loosen them up” – Erin (CT, USA)

5. They move a lot faster

And by that, I don’t mean they’re always jogging. Although to be fair, Londoners do power walk like no other, but I digress. What I meant was the Brits are down to get down (and dirty) on the first date, whereas generally, Americans are a bit more reserved about the whole shebang. After all, Britain is technically European! Well, at least for another year or so… #Brexit
“I learned that if a man asks you if you would ‘like to come ‘round for a cuppa tea” THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX. It’s the British equivalent to ‘Do you want to come up and see the place?’ and I was not prepared, I just wanted some tea.” – Emily (CT, USA)

The author, Rhiannon Yee, attended UC Berkeley for a Bachelors Degree in Media Studies. During her time at UC Berkeley, Rhiannon studied abroad in London, where she fell in love with the city. After graduation, she moved back to London to work for the University of California Education Abroad Programme. Currently, she is pursuing a Masters degree in Advertising & Public Relations at Richmond the American International University, where she is currently working on her dissertation about #Anglo-American relationships and cultural differences in regards to dating in London. This article is part of said dissertation! When she’s not furiously typing away about dating, Rhiannon splits her time between working part-time as Events Assistant for the University of California Trust (UK), interning at a PR agency, and running her US vs UK food blog, Tacos & Teacakes. You can contact her via email, LinkedIn or on Twitter.

Top 10 Tips to Date British Men

Image: Wikipedia

You’re in England – and you might want to start dating…

Males are an interesting species – am I right, ladies? Although almost all men have certain characteristics and traits in common, there are cultural differences that can make navigating the dating world fairly tricky. Especially if you are in England.

Sure, the Brits love to drink. They’re pretty loud. They’re really fun. And they have an abundance of men who seem to be single. Wonder why… Anyways, we’re going to give you some tips on how to date British men. There are positives and negatives to dating an English lad, and we’ll be sure to give you a good idea of both before throwing you out into the world of London Tinder.

1. Avoid subtleties – they most likely won’t get it. Sorry lads…

Marriage forgiveness – By LearningLark / CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)

One thing about the English so they’re not very reserved. They don’t really respond to subtle cues and quieter people. If you want a man to know something, you’re probably going to have to say it. In England, if a guy is interested in you while you’re out at a bar, he will probably wait for some cues of interest from you as well. So try and go against everything you’ve ever been taught, like batting your eyelashes and pretending not to be interested – if you do this, they really will just move on. Show some interest so his ego isn’t hurt (if you’re interested too, that is), so he’s willing to strike up a conversation.

2. Another thing about the British ego – they don’t love being told what to do 

London – by Robert Bye – Unsplash

Something about England is that the men are pretty prideful people. They wouldn’t respond too well to being told what to do. If you say something along the lines of, “Well, you should do….” then they will probably come back with some sarcastic retort as to why you are in charge. Just avoid this situation at all costs. Wait until you’re actually dating to start telling him what to do. 

3. If you make it to the stage of meeting his family, be choosy if you want more food or not

Prepare to be bowled over by pasta at these 5 Best Pasta Places in London. Image of Bucatini with Cornish mussels and seaweed butter sourced from Bancone official website.

You know when you go to someone’s house and they ask you if you want more food and you say no, trying to be polite? Typically, if you do that in England they will just take the answer and go with it. As I said, the English are pretty straight-up and blunt people. So if you say you’re not hungry, then they’ll take that as the truth. Don’t blame your English boyfriend for when you’re hungry one hour after dinner.

4. An English guy will drink – a LOT

Carlsberg beer, image sourced from Pixabay

Okay, so we all know this. The English and Irish are drinkers. They flock to the pubs, they order massive amounts of pints, and they just sit there all day and all night, loving every minute. English lads are brought up to go to the pub for any reason – if they’re sad, they’re happy, or anything at all interesting happens. Or if nothing happened at all, and they’re bored. Therefore, they are accustomed to drinking a lot, from a very young age. You better get used to your English man having Smithwick’s on the regular.

5. Please, PLEASE don’t try and act British

England flag – By Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=15541

Your man has started dating you because he likes YOU – not because he likes you, but wants you to be British. That’s weird.  So, for the love of God, please don’t try to say British slang terms, speak in a slight British accent, or pretend like you know English childhood traditions. Just be yourself.

6. Humor is very important

I gotta say, the Brits are hilarious. Any event can turn into a night to remember with this lot. They are loud, they’re funny, they’re not afraid to say what they mean, and they are witty. If you don’t have a sense of humor, then your conversation with a British man will only last a  few minutes. If you can’t give back the banter they’re giving you, then they’ll most likely get bored.

7. Try and actually listen to what he’s saying instead of just his accent

Yes, we know. The British accent is very cool. We love just hearing British men talk – we really don’t care what it’s about. However, when you first start dating, be sure to actually listen to the meaning of the words coming out of his mouth, instead of just the way he says your name.

8. London blokes are stylish

London – by Clem Onojeghuo – Unsplash

If you are going to date an English man from London, then you’re in luck. They usually dress very well, keep up to date with the current styles, and enjoy looking put-together. Men will usually spend more time than girls getting ready – well, maybe not with the amount of makeup that English girls wear, but it’s a pretty close race. If you’re into a well-dressed man, look no further.

9. He will love football – no, not the NFL

Frank Lampard – By Frank_Lampard.jpg: Wonker from London, United Kingdomderivative work: Lando09 / CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)

English Premier League football is a huge part of the English culture. It’s more of a way of life than a hobby. Men flock to the pubs to watch the games at all hours of the day, and proceed to get pretty drunk to their favorite team playing in the background. Get on board with the football, or don’t go with him to the pub. And don’t tell him that you don’t like this favorite team – trust us. Especially not a Liverpool fan.

10. British men will always keep you entertained

Fox on the Hill pub, Denmark Hill – By By Jwslubbock – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fox_on_the_Hill_pub,_Denmark_Hill,_London.jpg, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=77414639

A combination of their humor, their accent, their drinking shenanigans, and their fun nature with you and with friends will keep you interested in your British men for a long time. Try dating, try playing the scene, and try to just have fun while potentially finding someone to settle down with. 

The positives and negatives of dating British men are for you to weigh against each other – but hey, at least we gave you some foolproof tips…

Emma Starr

Emma is a professional soccer player who has been traveling around Europe for the past 4 years. She enjoys hiking each country’s highest peaks and backpacking long-distance trails when she is in her off-season. Exploring new places, meeting different people, and writing about her experiences is the best ‘job’ she could ever ask for.

Let’s face it, men may not be as effusive as women in dissecting their love lives, but, as I’ve too happily learned from my male friends, you guys worry as much as women – you just don’t show it. And in our newly post-#MeToo world, dating for men understandably takes on an extra layer of anxiety. I may not be equipped to solve your dating dilemmas, but as an actively dating American in London, I can put your mind at ease about one thing: You’re infinitely better at dating than your New York City counterparts.

I moved to London last year to study. In addition to falling in love with the city, I swooned over its menfolk. It wasn’t just the accent and an unusually high number of bum chins (a particular weakness of mine). It was the attitude shift. I felt a consistently higher level of respect from the men here. Dating anywhere can be a soul-crushing drudge of going from one lackluster date to the next. But here I’ve enjoyed and looked forward to all my interactions, even when I didn’t feel a romantic connection.

A caveat: I understand it’s unfair to paint an entire gender and nationality with broad strokes. These points are based solely on my personal experiences as well as those of female American expat friends in their 30s. I lived and dated in New York for the last ten years, so I can’t compare Brits to all American men. But as far as the male populace of the Big Apple goes, you guys are way ahead of the game. I don’t mean to bash all New Yorkers; I had a long-term relationship with a wonderful man in the city. But he – and the others who were around for a shorter period – could’ve learned a thing or two (or all seven, below) from you guys.

So I’m here to tell you: Relax, you’re doing great. Here’s what you’re getting right – keep it up.

1. You Don’t Play Games
I fell hard for the first guy I went out with in London. He asked me out for our second date a day after we met. A day after that, we were at dinner. He showed me men here refrain from playing games. Waiting several days before asking a woman out again is a common, and maddening, ploy used by New Yorkers even in their late 30s. In London, I happily haven’t come across an adherence to arbitrary dating rules many New Yorkers follow.

2. You’re curious
I’ve found Brits to be more engaged in the world and eager to learn more. Katherine, another expat New Yorker, agrees. ‘Brits either inherently have more to talk about, or are less afraid to bring up interesting topics,’ she says. ‘I think there’s more diversity surrounding people here in general, so the drive to conform and not be perceived as weird seems less intense.’

3. You balance work/life well
Ambition is sexy but not if it takes over your life. New Yorkers are notorious for burning the candle at both ends. Here a couple of guys profusely apologised to me when they needed to schedule a date for 8PM, which in New York is prime going out hour. Plus, men here earnestly pursue hobbies, whether its rock climbing or painting, giving their minds a rest from the whirlwind of work. I appreciate that Brits are ambitious but make their personal lives an equal priority.

4. You’re good listeners
When a guy asked me to buy him a drink on our first date, we ended up having a lively but respectful discussion on the ins and outs of this modern-day dating minefield. To my surprise, he ended up agreeing with me in the end. It was refreshing to have such an honest chat. He came at the argument with an open mind rather than stubbornness and truly listened to what I had to say. And that’s been my blanket experience: Men here pay attention without interrupting and always respect my opinions, even when they disagree with me.

5. You’re not afraid of commitment
I was dating like a rock star when I arrived. But I quickly realized I brought my New York City ‘it’s all about the numbers game’ mentality to London. From what I’ve learned, you lads take your time getting to know a gal without courting a dozen others. That allows for a real connection to blossom. Conjunctively, you’re not afraid to express how you feel sooner than what American women are used to. Katherine says what surprised her most ‘is that there are plenty of British men out there who will share their feelings and affection up front, when I expected the stark opposite.’

6. You’re gentlemen
Another way to say it is you guys are grown ups. One finds plenty of gentlemen in New York, but the idea here goes beyond opening doors and pulling out chairs. It is more your attitude I’m referencing. The men here don’t just act mature, they are mature. Too many men in New York live in perpetual university mode. I find that the frat boy mentality has generally subsided in Londoners. You guys know how to have fun but move in and out of ‘adulting’ much more seamlessly. ‘I have found that British men are far better at the chivalry game,’ says Rachel, another American expat. ‘In terms of dating, [they have] been very good at making plans and, in my experience, have put a lot of thought into early dates to make them memorable experiences.’ At the end of the day, nothing beats a thoughtful man.

7. You’re sharp dressers
This is a bonus category, but an important one. Perhaps it’s the European influence, but men here tend to be sharper dressers than New Yorkers. A well-fitted suit and a perfectly coiffed ‘do (again, I’m showing my preferences here) or even a casual yet studied look of jeans and T-shirt with the right accessories adds a level of sophistication that forces me to take Brits more seriously than I did slovenly New Yorkers. A well put together man signals that he’s probably got the rest of his life together too. What girl could resist that?