Yes you: What spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating
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Dating a guy a few months younger |
What spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating |
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Free dating sites no sign up uk |
Dating a guy a few months younger |
What spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating |
1. If your life was a movie, what would it be called?
2. What's the last concert you went to?
3.What do you wish you were really good at?
4. If you were a dog, what kind of dog would you be?
5. Do you believe in aliens?
6. Do you shower at night or in the morning?
7. What's the most cringeworthy outfit you've ever worn?
8. If you could be any animal, what would you be?
9. Would you rather leave your hometown and never be able to return again, or stay in your hometown but never be able to leave?
10, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. If you had to rename yourself, what name would you choose?
11. What was the last show you binge-watched?
12. If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?
13. If you could only hear one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
14. What is the worst lie you've ever told your parents?
15. If any actor or actress could play you in a movie, who totally free dating services it be?
16. What's your favorite song lyric?
17. When was the last time you felt most yourself?
18. What do you think my superpower is?
19. What is your dream job?
20. What does your ideal weekend look like?
21. What is something that people misunderstand about you?
22. What is something that you would change about your life?
23. What do you think is your best quality?
24. What are you most scared of?
1. How many people have you kissed?
2. Do you ever think about me?
3. What have you done sexually with someone else?
4. What spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating attracts you to people?
5. What are your thoughts on sex?
6. Are you a virgin?
7. Do you think you're a good kisser?
8. What turns you on?
9. Have you ever had a sexy dream?
10. What do you wear when you sleep?
11. What is the worst assumption someone has made about you?
12. Have you ever been in love?
13. Have you ever snuck out of the house? For what?
14. How did your last relationship end?
15. What was your first impression of me?
1. What is the weirdest dream you've ever had?
2. What is on your what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating list?
3. Are you more of a morning or night person?
4. What is your go-to karaoke song?
5. If you could move anywhere in the world, where would you go?
6. What was one time you really stepped out of your comfort zone?
7. What is the biggest lesson you've learned?
8. What is your favorite movie of all time?
9. What is your biggest guilty pleasure?
10. If you were a superhero, what kind of secret identity would you have?
11. What would your younger self not believe about your life today?
12. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
13. What three items would you bring with you to a deserted island?
14. Who is last person you texted?
15. What is the last thing you searched for on your phone?
16. Who is your celebrity crush?
17. What is the one thing you can't live without?
When it comes to asking questions, you don’t want to go too big — or too small. You need the questions to be deep what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating that you can get to know them, establish a connection, or test the waters to see if they're into you as well, explains Carmel Jones, a relationship coach and sex expert at The Big Fling. But ofc, you also don't want to come across like you're interviewing them for a job.
So we’ve collected some ideas for questions to ask your crush to get to know them better and see if they’re into you. Jot these down for the next time you’re totally freaking out inside about how to keep the convo going.
"For starters, you want something not too deep," explains Roberts. She suggest asking your crush about things like TV shows, podcasts, music, and similar topics. For the pop-culture obsessed among us (hi, me), this might be important. If they're a "I don't watch any TV, ever" type, that's may be a pass. You could also ask them about their favorite TV show/podcast/movie to keep the convo going.
This is another one of Roberts' suggestions for a question that keeps things light. Plus, it helps you get to know them better and assess your compatibility. If their guilty pleasure is a lazy day inside and you're all about adventure, that's something to keep in mind.
Okay, so this is basically asking them out. But there's an art to it! "In terms of finding out if they're interested in you, I think you have to ask a little bit more pointed questions," says Roberts. "'Do you wanna get together sometime?' is too vague. When you're trying to establish if they like you or not, I'd go a little bit more specific."
Some people can't date people who smoke cigarettes or use other substances. Others will only date those who have similar politics or views on social issues. If you've got a dealbreaker like this, you might wanna ask your crush about it before things get serious. whats the best dating app for hookups it's very important to you and it's a dealbreaker, eventually, you'll want to know." Roberts points out. "You don't necessarily need to know it before you go out the first time, but you do want to get a sense of who that person is." She points out that it is fine to have differences, so basically, you don't have to write them off if you're not 100% in agreement about everything — this is just about your dealbreakers.
This can tell you a lot about someone's interests (maybe you'll find out that they really love singing or always wanted to be a pro athlete) and how they relate to the world. Maybe they would like having all that attention, or maybe it would make them super uncomfortable.
I've asked this on dates and gotten some really funny terrible roommate stories as a result, so it's a good conversation starter. Plus, you probably want to know if they're living alone, living with friends, living with family, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating, or have some other situation.
Are they into camping? Luxe beach vacations? Wine tours? Hopping between hostels? Only a good introduction for online dating way to find out.
If they mention a celeb who looks kinda like you, it's game on.
This doesn't have to feel like a job interview question! It's interesting to know if someone has plans to change careers, move cities, live abroad for a while, or anything like that. And it's useful for you. I've asked this to my crushes and if they said they had plans to move out of the city in the next few years, I knew we probably weren't meant to be.
How a person would want to spend their perfect day is a good indicator of what they value. Also, you might get some A+ date ideas depending on how best casual hookup dating apps answer. Like, if their perfect day is a what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating in the park followed by a concert.well, dating site organic eaters you go.
It might feel kinda like you're going around the Thanksgiving table, but this is an interesting Q. Maybe they're most thankful for their family and you can ask follow-ups about their parents and siblings. Or maybe they hold their friendships really closely, or they're most thankful for their health because of an experience they had. You'll never know until you what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating
IYKYK. Plus, you can find out their sign for, you know, research purposes.
Not only will this potentially give you future gift ideas if you get together, it also gives you a little look into their financial habits. It might turn out to be good intel for true chat online dating future.
This might be a little weird to ask out of left field, but if you're already talking about relationships and dating, this could be a good question to ask. That's especially true if you have opinions about your own willingness to be in either a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship.
Look at you, you flirt! This one's not exactly subtle, but sometimes you gotta be direct.
This can lead to some hilarious revelations about their taste in music (and give you a fun future date idea, maybe).
This question will help you both get deep. It helps you learn about how your crush sees themselves, and how they think they come off to others. Maybe they feel like they're a total goofball, but they come across as shy (or vice versa). V interesting stuff.
This question is from a psychology study examining whether people could fall in love just by asking each other intimate questions. (So, maybe exactly what you're trying to do here?) It's lowkey flirty, because it leaves the door open for them to compliment you, and you might get a sense of whether your crush likes you back based on their answer.
This Q from the same psychology study is sure to be interesting. You can learn a lot about what's important to them, whether it's their career, their education, their family life, their relationships—there are a lot of ways to go with this one.
This Q builds curiosity and exploration, which is why licensed marriage and family therapist Payal Patel loves it. Pay attention to what they would love to do if they didn’t have financial restrictions, which can indicate what they value and how they truly enjoy spending their free time.
“Breaking rules is sexy and taboo, but there’s a limit,” says psychologist Kassandra Heap, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. Maybe they like sneaking an extra sample at Costco or speeding on their way home from work. This question not only gives you a peek at where your crush’s moral compass lies, but it will also help you determined whether it aligns with yours (which can seriously alleviate future, potential disagreements).
Not only is this question a unique way to mix things up, but Heap says it’s also a great way to tap into your what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating hobbies. “It’s always fun to hear someone talk about something they are passionate about, and it gives you a glimpse of the type sd dating site things they find interesting,” she explains.
Many people grow individually by traveling and learning about different cultures, says Patel, which is why uncovering whether or not your crush is more of an explorer or homebody is pretty major. Obviously, if you like to travel, you’ll want to know if your crush will be down to country hop, but chances are if they value taking trips, it shows they’re down to veer outside of their comfort zone and enjoy being adventurous.
First of all, talking about food is always interesting, and the convo might even end with both of you getting so hungry you order Taco Bell. Yay! More importantly, however, is how your crush answers this question, says Heap.
“Are they responding in a thoughtful, curious, or engaged way? Or are they responding in a dismissive, nonchalant or disengaged way?" She asks. "If they aren’t willing to play along, that means something.” If they’re giving you nothing answers, it’s a sign they might not be as game for playful convos/experience, which could make future road trips superrrr boring.
This is so much more fun—and meaningful—than asking someone what their favorite song is. Would their show be a drama? A sitcom? A limited series? And is the opening music lively and peppy or more sorrowful and Big Little Lies-ish? This shines some light not only on what tunes your crush listens to but how they view the story of their life. Deep, right?
Obviously you’ll really what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating to read the situation before jumping into this question since it’s a bit deeper, but Patel says if the mood is right, this Q can be extremely powerful and telling.
“Therapy shows they’re not afraid to seek help and they’ve opened up a space for individual growth,” explains Patel. “People tend to go to therapy to become better versions of themselves, and that carries over into any relationship.”
Whether or not you asked the deeper therapy question, asking some Qs that are positively framed can create a more relaxed and enjoyable conversation, says Heap. “Being on the receiving end of too many serious and intense questions can feel like an interview,” she explains. “Lighten up the conversation with a few questions like this to create a comfortable atmosphere between you and your crush."
If you want to sniff out some red flags (or hopefully lack thereof), Heap says asking about bad dates is a solid place to start. “This question is a must because it gives you an idea of what someone considers characteristics of a bad date and in turn a non-ideal partner," she explains. "It also tells you in the inverse what they dating a girl whos been around is a good date.”
One of the easiest ways to get someone to open up about themselves is for them to talk about, well, not themselves. “This question lets you know what sorts of things your crush admires in others," Heap explains. “Also, we’re often the sum of the company we keep, so you can assume your crush has behaved in similar ways as their best friend in their story,” or at least cheered on their behavior.
This question lets you get a sense of their taste in other people and the what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating they find both ideal and attractive, says Jones. It doesn't have to be super formal when you ask—you can bring up an artist or movie star you really like, and then pivot from that to, "They're my celeb crush, who's yours?" Ya feel? Sneaky!
Or what behaviors can they absolutely not stand? "As important as it is to learn what they are attracted to, you'll also want to know what turns them off," adds Jones. Again, feel free to what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating this like a rando celeb opinion of yours. "I can't stand Leo DiCaprio," you say, and when they ask why, you can be like, "He's a smoker, which I just can't vibe with. Who's your Leo?" Sneaky pt. 2!
There's a chance that your crush's first impression of you was actually that you were crushing on them, but nevertheless, it's a great opportunity to figure out what they think about you, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating, according to Jones. Set it up like, "People always think I'm super shy, but I'm not," or vice-versa, sub in any adjective for shy. Then they'll probably offer up a rejection or affirmation about your statement, or you can press them like, "What did you think?"
Figuring out if your crush is an introvert or extrovert can make judging your potential compatibility way easier. If you absolutely must go out five nights a week and they're the kind who doesn't leave the house unless absolutely forced, it miiiiiight not be a great match. Being able to suss out your crush's comfortability in social situations and how they recharge means you can also make them comfier in the future, according to Jones. If you know they're shy, maybe don't go for the OTT, public declaration of love in front of all your mutual friends, but if they are, do it!
Maybe it's something physical like elbows, or maybe it's more abstract like when someone is willing to take one for the team in a group setting or something. Everyone has weird things they're into that aren't necessarily, "universally attractive," explains Jones, but getting to know these quirks are helpful in seeing what your crush values and for your future relationship.
Not only is this primo intel for any future gifting you'll be doing if you become a happy couple, it also tells you what and who matters most to your crush, says Jones. Was it a rando gift from an acquaintance where just the thought was what counted? Or was it a super elaborate gift from their BFF?
Get a sense of what they value most in life and what they consider to be important life lessons with this one, explains Jones. Is it to always treat others with kindness? Is it that they should do no harm? There are no wrong answers here, and the insight, even aside from them being your crush, will likely stay with you, just because it's an interesting question most people don't get asked.
The answer could be anything from spiders, to death, to heights, to ghosts. This question gives you space to bond over something, even if you're not afraid of the same thing. "Secrets and fears tend to strengthen the bonds between people," Jones says.
This lets you learn about your crush's family but also opens the door for lots of organic follow-ups, according to Jones. If they say they're closest to their mom because she's the kindest, you can ask for an example or their favorite memory of their mom being the saint that she is. If it's their sibling, ask why. If it's their grandma because she's strict but wise, ask for more deets. You get the picture. People usually like talking about their families, so you're opening a door to let them talk that they'll probs appreciate.
Yeah, most questions you'll wanna ask your crush aren't yes or no questions, but this is the one exception. "Your time is valuable and if catholic dating websites free say no, you might want to re-evaluate whether or not the pursuit is worth that time," says Jones. If you're looking for an easier way to thread this into the convo, try bringing up how you're simply exhausted of dating and considering taking a break from everything. Then you can segue into asking them, "How about you, are you dating? Do you want to be dating right now?"
Piggybacking off the nice lil segue into ~dating~ as a topic that #5 just opened up for you, you can press a bit further and get the scoop on their last relationship, why it ended, and more. This question is a goldmine, says Shelly Kessinger, LPC, of Friendswood Marriage Counseling, as it can help you understand who this person is and how they operate in relationships. Not only will it tell you how much time has passed since their last relationship and get a timeline (exactly what you're asking for on the surface), it'll also help ease you into the next two questions, which get progressively harder and aren't as simple to answer.
Next, you can get some deets on why the relationship ended. You can gain insight on everything from whether or not they're self-aware enough to notice patterns in their relationships, or if they refer to their ex as "crazy" (red flag: beware the person who calls their ex crazy as they might do the same for you). Through this question, you can get a sense of their perspective and see how they are talking about it. "Do they seem still angry? Bitter? Relieved? Annoyed? This can be helpful to see how emotionally available they are, as well as give you an idea of what their dealbreakers are," adds Kessinger, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating.
For the pièce de résistance, ask this question to see if they're truly ready for a relationship. "The obvious answer is, 'Yes, I'm over my ex,' but there is an opportunity for self-reflection, self-awareness," says Kessinger. This question gives them space to communicate their feelings to you, and even possibly segue into how great you are. The key here is to listen for bitterness, resentment, and annoyance when they answer, Kessinger says. "The way they answer is just as important as what they actually say."
If you don't know your love language, get on it pronto! Learning your crush's love language opens the door to allowing a deeper connection without emotionally exposing yourself too soon, explains Chloé Miller, founder and CEO of "And, Swipe Right," a Chicago dating consultancy. "This is how people have those 'they just get me' clicking relationships," she adds, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. "Communicating in the other person's 'language' makes them feel seen, heard, and emotionally validated. It's flattering, deepens your bond, and because it's enjoyed, [they'll] be back for more."
Everyone's got a different way to recharge, and similar to finding out if they're an introvert or extrovert, seeing if you're on the same page about how you both re-up your batteries can be something you bond over. If you both love something similar, like going to yoga, you can take this as an opportunity to go together, adds Miller. It doesn't have to be a date-date either if you're not at this stage yet, just "going together" can plant the seed in their head that it might be fun to hang with you outside of your normal interactions.
Adding another layer to the "what do you do for fun?" question, this one lets you also get more insight into who the person is. This question can also surface dealbreakers, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating, says Miller. Do they spend almost every Saturday catching up on work? And if so, are you okay dating a workaholic?
This question is risky because if you don't align on the important stuff, it might be a signal that it's time to nip this crush in the bud and settle for being friends. However, if you find instead that you have commonalities in your ways of thinking and prioritizing, "bring these up in conversation and emphasize your values and how important each is to you," suggests Miller. "Values are great to bond over as it defines a person's character."
If someone does spend every Saturday working out of obligation, what do they want to do for fun? This lets you know how your crush would plan a hypothetical frivolous day off, and it's also super fun to hear about, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. "If you bring up fun ideas, it's a new bonding point for you two and the conversation just keeps getting better," Miller says.
This is another exception to the "no one-word answers" rule, as people have VERY strong opinions on this baby, and you'll def be going back and forth for a while on it. "This is a surprisingly polarizing question and it's good to have an opinion," says Miller. It might be a seemingly innocent and superficial topic, but think of the ways you can build conversation around this. "Funny memes, cute videos, heartwarming stories.the point here is to bond on something that keeps you two chatting IRL and online."
The point of this question what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating so much to use the info that they share, but to get them to laugh — the bigger the belly laugh, the better. Genuine laughter releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter, which increases emotional connection, and makes it more likely for you both to stay engaged in convo longer, according to Indigo Stray Conger, an AASECT certified sex therapist based in Colorado.
Carina HsiehSex & Relationships EditorCarina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals.
Rachel VarinaRachel is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators to the best TV shows to watch with your family.
Jamie BallardJamie Ballard is a freelance writer who covers news, lifestyle and entertainment topics, including TV, movies, health, pets, relationships, and personal finance.
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When it comes to dating, the pressure is firmly on. It only takes a tenth of a second to form an impression of a stranger, according to Princeton researchers. And that’s before you’ve even opened your mouth.
Once a first impression is made, all you have left are your conversational skills. And this is the hard part. But Harvard researchers have found that the best way to make a good impression is by simply asking a question.
Once you’ve decided what to wear for a first date, one of the difficulties is knowing how serious to get with conversation, or how light to keep things. You don’t want your date to start crying into their spaghetti after opening up about their darkest childhood secrets, but science has given us good reason to delve a little deeper than small talk if you really want to make a lasting impression.
In 1997, an academic paper gave the world 36 questions it promised that would make a person ‘fall in love with anyone’ when asked on a date. In 2015, a New York Times article about the study and the questions – many of which were quite intimate and personal – went viral. The whole idea behind the questions was to create closeness between two people, and for the participants to ‘enjoy getting close’ to each other. A shortcut to romance and intimacy, in other words.
So here are some questions that will really help you get to know someone, whether it’s light-hearted banter on a first date or deep, meaningful conversations about life with your spouse.
The chances are, you met your potential mate on some app or other. The aim here in the virtual world is to keep the conversation light and flowing – and glean an idea of where to take your date. You want to build excitement and anticipation, not give anyone cold feet.
If possible, come up with some topics of conversation to expand on later in the week when the date rolls around. You’re not going to make anyone fall in love with you here, so leave your 36 questions at the door and keep things relatively simple.
– What’s your favourite place to spend an evening out?
– What’s your go-to drink on a night out?
– How’s your week going?
– If you could hop on a plane right now, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating, where would you go?
– If you could be any person for a day, who would you be and why?
– Are you a dog or cat person?
– What do you do for work?
– Where do you live?
– What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
– Beer or wine?
– Is there somewhere else in the world you’d like to live?
The first half an hour of a date is all about loosening up, breaking any tension and just … getting … through it. It’s important to keep things lighthearted, the conversation natural and quite general so you can gauge each other’s personality before moving things on to anything more groundbreaking.
The Harvard researchers discovered that those who ask more follow-up questions during a conversation instantly become more likeable, so if your date responds positively to your initial questions, why not hit back with another related question to allow them to expand? It shows you care about what they are saying and are interested in hearing more. In the meantime, try these as starting points.
– So, Tinder’s weird, isn’t it?
– What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve had on the app?
– How was your day?
– What do you have lined up on Netflix?
– Where did you grow up, and how long have you been living here?
– Who do you live with?
– Where did you go to school?
– What do you like to do on weekends?
– Have you been on any holidays lately? Any trips coming up?
– Do you have any siblings?
– Was there a job you always wanted to do as a kid?
At this point in the date, you’re both loosening up and starting (hopefully) to feel comfortable around each other. You want to open the conversation up to a few anecdotes, and get into some more meaty conversations so you can get to know each other now the nerves are starting to settle.
Your first impressions will well and truly have been made by this point according to the Princeton study, but you can improve your stock by continuing to be interested in what your date has to say.
– What one thing do you wish you had invented?
– What type of music do you like?
– What was the last great film you watched?
– If you weren’t in your current job, what would you be doing?
– What are you better at than 90 percent of the population?
– What advice do you tell other people but are rubbish at doing yourself?
– What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
– If you had to eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?
– Are you a good cook?
– Do you prefer swimming in the sea or the pool?
– If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
You’ll both have a pretty good idea if sparks are flying by this point, so all you can do from here is have a good time and make it a memorable evening. It’s time to ramp the conversation up a bit before last orders.
– What one thing are you most grateful for in life?
– What’s your dream job?
– What’s your biggest fear?
– What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
– How close are you to your family?
– If you could tell your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
– What’s your favorite part of your home town?
– And what do you hate most about it?
– Who’s the most interesting person you know?
– What would you do with your free time if you didn’t need to work?
– What would you like to be known for?
– Have you ever had a fist fight?
All good dates come to an end, unfortunately – and this is the time when you need to leave on a good impression. It’s all about getting a balance between not wrapping it up too abruptly, and not letting the goodbye linger so long it gets awkward. You don’t need to overcomplicate it, just be natural – you’ve done the hard work already.
– Do you have any exciting plans over the weekend?
– Can I pick up the bill?
– How are you getting home?
– What did you think of this place?
– Would you like to meet again?
– Where shall we go?
If the first date went well enough, the second date will creep up on you before you’ve even recovered from the nerves (and hangover) of the first. In fact, in a survey of 1,000 couples by dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, 77 percent of people organized their second date while on their first date or the day after, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. So don’t hang around.
It’s important to keep the momentum going and the conversation flowing, too, so there’s a third. Here are a few ideas of what to ask, to pick back up where you left off.
– How was your week?
– What’s been the best thing to happen to you since we last saw each other?
– Have you read anything interesting this week?
– If you could go anywhere in the world on a date, where would it be?
– What is one misconception people often have about you?
– If you could change one aspect about yourself, what would it be?
– What annoys you most about dating?
– If you could only keep one possession of yours, what would it be?
– Do you spend your money on anything you shouldn’t?
Okay, we are skipping a few dates here. But what happens when you and your date start to go beyond the dating phase, and actually enter a full-blown relationship? Are there specific questions you still need to ask? Well, by now you should no each other fairly well, but there are still improvements to be made. Perhaps you haven’t yet met the family or been introduced to the parents; maybe you need to brush up on friendship groups and who’s who as you really become part of each other’s lives.
– Which parent are/were you closer to?
– Which family member would you go to in a time of need?
– Were you ever tempted to follow in your mother or father’s career footsteps?
– What’s your earliest childhood memory?
– What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever said to you?
– Would you change anything about your relationship with your family?
– Who’s your most treasured memory with your best friend?
– Have you ever massively fallen out with a close friend and why?
– What’s the worst thing a friend has ever done to make you upset?
The all-dreaded, all-damning, all-too-common reality of long-term relationships: arguments. They’re a fact of life and, in reality, if you do them right, they’re actually healthy for your relationship.
In a study, the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that people who argued regularly were (ironically) actually less stressed out during their day – supposedly because they released their tension gradually rather than letting it build up into a bigger problem. But what questions should be asked in order to address it?
– How does it make you feel when we argue?
– Do you want your own space for a minute?
– What do you think it is that makes us argue?
– How can we avoid it next time?
– What do you need me to do differently?
– Is there anything you’re bottling up?
– Are we okay?
– What shall we do together tomorrow?
Provided you made it past the above section (and the argument), you may find yourself moving in together with your partner. A small step this is not, and it’s one that will likely raise many questions in the build up to it happening and beyond.
This is a big test of the relationship, which will either make it or break it – you can’t exactly move out, live separately and stay together as if nothing ever happened. Now is the time to address not just the practical questions about moving in, but also whether you see the same future together. There are some biggies here.
– It’s a big move – are we ready for it?
– Do you think we’d argue more being in the same space all the time?
– City or country?
– Do you want to be close to your family?
– If there was one compromise for your living situation, what would that be?
– What’s your dream piece of furniture?
– Are you ready for jointly-owned cutlery, tea towels and furniture?
– Pet or no pet?
– Do you want to have kids? And if so, when?
– Where do you see us living in the future?
Congratulations, you’ve made it through the dating assault course and relationship minefield, and you’re in it for the long game. Yes, you are settling down but that doesn’t mean you have to take your foot off the gas – it’s important to keep things interesting and continue to push and inspire your partner, and vice versa.
That doesn’t mean waking them up every morning while reciting a new Chaucer verse; rather, go out now and again (remember those early days) and keep challenging each other and asking interesting questions. It will keep you on your toes, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating, which is a good thing.
– If you could re-do one year of your life, which would it be and why?
– If you were to die tonight, what would be the one thing you would tell me?
– Do you have one secret you’ve never shared with anyone?
– Am I doing enough?
– Have you ever thought about sleeping with anyone else? Gosling doesn’t count.
– What’s your biggest life regret?
– What should our next big holiday be?
– Is what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating something you’d love to do, but feel like we can’t?
– Have you ever not done something that you wished you had, and still can do?
– What’s the happiest you’ve ever been?
– What big plan shall we make for the next five years?
Sam wishes you happiness forever in your relationship. And if you aren't in one yet, it will be OK! Everybody's been there.
In the regular 20 questions game, one player thinks of something and then everyone in the group takes turns asking questions so they can deduce what casual dating and adult person is thinking of and make a more educated guess. This version is a bit more exciting in that you get to ask 20 essential questions in order to truly understand who someone really is on a deeper level. Below I’ve included six sets for a total of 120 questions.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 10, 2018:
Asking questions are a good way to break the ice with what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating new, what spontaneous questions to ask the guy you dating. Dating a girl with acne it's important not to believe everything you're told.
It's human nature for people to say or do whatever they believe the person they're (infatuated) with wants to hear. Everyone attempts to put their "best foot" forward to impress someone they like.
Ultimately it takes (time) to truly get to know someone.
Generally it's not until after there has been an emotional investment or "commitment" made that people start to feel (safe) enough to reveal their "authentic selves" without the fear their mate will leave. In some instances they may no longer care!
Karima used Tinder, Bumble, and other dating apps for five whole years before finally finding her perfect match.
Let's be real—there's nothing easy about online dating. Though it's relatively simple to swipe and message your matches, it is increasingly difficult to keep a fat girl dating apps going. Even with so many different people at your fingertips, it's hard to spark a connection!
The easiest thing to do, of course, to send him a quick "Hey" or "How are you?". But messages like these don't encourage anyone to respond. The best way to get a response is to ask how to find a boyfriend without online dating question—after all, everybody loves talking about themselves! Try to ask him something that allows him to open up to you and tell you more about himself. Once he's comfortable, the conversation will really start flowing!
So if you're stumped for what to ask, here's a list of over 200 basic, funny, weird, deep, and even flirty questions to ask a guy on Bumble (or Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid, etc.). Good luck!
Try 21 questions to ask a guy if you want to get to know someone better or alternatively if you are already in a committed relationship and want to dive further into the deep and meaningfuls together. This is such a fun game as you really can know your date partner on a deeper, more intimate level. These questions are equally quite fun in a group of friends.
If you think gee I would really like to know X but don’t know the right way to go about asking – put your question as one of 21 questions, make it a fun game and he will be none the wiser – trust me!
What I love most about this game is how simple and easy it is. Simply, make a list of the 21 questions you would like to know about your SO and they will do the same about you.
It might be questions to get to know them better on an intimate level or just really PG rated questions to see if the two of you are a good match! You might like to ask questions about his family, his previous relationships or just random fun questions about life – the choice is entirely yours.
Plus after you ask these questions you might get a really good sign if he’s interested (or not).
Thinking of questions can be pretty hard. So we have done the hard work for you (there really is no excuses for date night!) and made a list of 21 fun questions to ask a guy (by category!)
When scrolling through this list and copying the 21 questions you like the best, the biggest tip I can give you is select the questions in accordance with the stage of your relationship. You don’t want to weird the other person out if it is just your second date and you want a full list and details of past relationships – Eeekk.
Here are some great questions that you might want to ask to get to know your crush better:
Here are some flirty questions to ask a guy during the game of 21 questions. If you want more inspiration, you can check out our dedicated post on flirty questions to ask a guy – there are 153 questions on that list!
If you prefer a “Question Game” that does the hard work for you, here some of our favorites you could pick up:
We all love to know a random thing or two about the person we are dating. Here are some random things you might wanna know that you might like to add into your list of 21 questions.
Want to get to know the person on a much, much deeper level. Here are the best deep questions to ask a guy to get to know him better. We would recommend saying this questions for a little further on in the relationship say date 5 or 6?
If you are under say 16 and are on a teen date, you might need some PG questions. Here are the best questions to ask a boy you like:
More Conversation Starters?
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Источник: [https://torrent-igruha.org/3551-portal.html]When you’re trying to get to know someone new, you can only text “what's up” so many times. Most people don’t come right out and spill their deepest secrets. Well, that’s what the 21 Questions game is for! These sneaky questions will help reveal the stuff you can’t tell on the surface — a person’s hopes, dreams, and values.
Just ask your crush one question at a time! The game can be one-sided but you can play, too. Ask each other questions back and forth, or take turns answering all 21 questions in a row.
In a group setting, the same rules apply. Just randomly choose one person to ask the first of the 21 questions, then move through the group until everyone has had a chance to answer.
This is optional, but a player can “pass” on questions if they don’t feel comfortable answering. Whether it be a single question or multiple, you decide on exactly how many people are allowed to skip.
Of course, 21 questions might not be enough to get to know someone — so we’ve included 70. That way, you will never run out of things to ask.
1. Do you think double texting is a big deal?
2. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done to get a crush's attention?
3. When did you have your first kiss?
4. Do you believe in astrology? Does your sign fit you?
5. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
6. If you go to a restaurant and have terrible service, is it ever OK not to tip?
7. Have you ever cheated on your S.O.?
8. Have you ever been cheated on?
9. What's your biggest regret?
10. What's your dream date night?
11. How many S.O.s have you had?
12. Are you looking for a relationship?
13. What do you consider a red flag in a relationship?
14. What is your love language?
The chances are, you met your potential mate on some app or other. The aim here in the virtual world is to keep the conversation light and flowing – and glean an idea of where to take your date. You want to build excitement and anticipation, not give anyone cold feet.
If possible, come up with some topics of conversation to expand on later in the week when the date rolls around. You’re not going to make anyone fall in love with you here, so leave your 36 questions at the door and keep things relatively simple.
– What’s your favourite place to spend an evening out?
– What’s your go-to drink on a night out?
– How’s your week going?
– If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?
– If you could be any person for a day, who would you be and why?
– Are you a dog or cat person?
– What do you do for work?
– Where do you live?
– What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
– Beer or wine?
– Is there somewhere else in the world you’d like to live?
The first half an hour of a date is all about loosening up, breaking any tension and just … getting … through it. It’s important to keep things lighthearted, the conversation natural and quite general so you can gauge each other’s personality before moving things on to anything more groundbreaking.
The Harvard researchers discovered that those who ask more follow-up questions during a conversation instantly become more likeable, so if your date responds positively to your initial questions, why not hit back with another related question to allow them to expand? It shows you care about what they are saying and are interested in hearing more. In the meantime, try these as starting points.
– So, Tinder’s weird, isn’t it?
– What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve had on the app?
– How was your day?
– What do you have lined up on Netflix?
– Where did you grow up, and how long have you been living here?
– Who do you live with?
– Where did you go to school?
– What do you like to do on weekends?
– Have you been on any holidays lately? Any trips coming up?
– Do you have any siblings?
– Was there a job you always wanted to do as a kid?
At this point in the date, you’re both loosening up and starting (hopefully) to feel comfortable around each other. You want to open the conversation up to a few anecdotes, and get into some more meaty conversations so you can get to know each other now the nerves are starting to settle.
Your first impressions will well and truly have been made by this point according to the Princeton study, but you can improve your stock by continuing to be interested in what your date has to say.
– What one thing do you wish you had invented?
– What type of music do you like?
– What was the last great film you watched?
– If you weren’t in your current job, what would you be doing?
– What are you better at than 90 percent of the population?
– What advice do you tell other people but are rubbish at doing yourself?
– What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
– If you had to eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?
– Are you a good cook?
– Do you prefer swimming in the sea or the pool?
– If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
You’ll both have a pretty good idea if sparks are flying by this point, so all you can do from here is have a good time and make it a memorable evening. It’s time to ramp the conversation up a bit before last orders.
– What one thing are you most grateful for in life?
– What’s your dream job?
– What’s your biggest fear?
– What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
– How close are you to your family?
– If you could tell your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
– What’s your favorite part of your home town?
– And what do you hate most about it?
– Who’s the most interesting person you know?
– What would you do with your free time if you didn’t need to work?
– What would you like to be known for?
– Have you ever had a fist fight?
All good dates come to an end, unfortunately – and this is the time when you need to leave on a good impression. It’s all about getting a balance between not wrapping it up too abruptly, and not letting the goodbye linger so long it gets awkward. You don’t need to overcomplicate it, just be natural – you’ve done the hard work already.
– Do you have any exciting plans over the weekend?
– Can I pick up the bill?
– How are you getting home?
– What did you think of this place?
– Would you like to meet again?
– Where shall we go?
If the first date went well enough, the second date will creep up on you before you’ve even recovered from the nerves (and hangover) of the first. In fact, in a survey of 1,000 couples by dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, 77 percent of people organized their second date while on their first date or the day after. So don’t hang around.
It’s important to keep the momentum going and the conversation flowing, too, so there’s a third. Here are a few ideas of what to ask, to pick back up where you left off.
– How was your week?
– What’s been the best thing to happen to you since we last saw each other?
– Have you read anything interesting this week?
– If you could go anywhere in the world on a date, where would it be?
– What is one misconception people often have about you?
– If you could change one aspect about yourself, what would it be?
– What annoys you most about dating?
– If you could only keep one possession of yours, what would it be?
– Do you spend your money on anything you shouldn’t?
Okay, we are skipping a few dates here. But what happens when you and your date start to go beyond the dating phase, and actually enter a full-blown relationship? Are there specific questions you still need to ask? Well, by now you should no each other fairly well, but there are still improvements to be made. Perhaps you haven’t yet met the family or been introduced to the parents; maybe you need to brush up on friendship groups and who’s who as you really become part of each other’s lives.
– Which parent are/were you closer to?
– Which family member would you go to in a time of need?
– Were you ever tempted to follow in your mother or father’s career footsteps?
– What’s your earliest childhood memory?
– What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever said to you?
– Would you change anything about your relationship with your family?
– Who’s your most treasured memory with your best friend?
– Have you ever massively fallen out with a close friend and why?
– What’s the worst thing a friend has ever done to make you upset?
The all-dreaded, all-damning, all-too-common reality of long-term relationships: arguments. They’re a fact of life and, in reality, if you do them right, they’re actually healthy for your relationship.
In a study, the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan found that people who argued regularly were (ironically) actually less stressed out during their day – supposedly because they released their tension gradually rather than letting it build up into a bigger problem. But what questions should be asked in order to address it?
– How does it make you feel when we argue?
– Do you want your own space for a minute?
– What do you think it is that makes us argue?
– How can we avoid it next time?
– What do you need me to do differently?
– Is there anything you’re bottling up?
– Are we okay?
– What shall we do together tomorrow?
Provided you made it past the above section (and the argument), you may find yourself moving in together with your partner. A small step this is not, and it’s one that will likely raise many questions in the build up to it happening and beyond.
This is a big test of the relationship, which will either make it or break it – you can’t exactly move out, live separately and stay together as if nothing ever happened. Now is the time to address not just the practical questions about moving in, but also whether you see the same future together. There are some biggies here.
– It’s a big move – are we ready for it?
– Do you think we’d argue more being in the same space all the time?
– City or country?
– Do you want to be close to your family?
– If there was one compromise for your living situation, what would that be?
– What’s your dream piece of furniture?
– Are you ready for jointly-owned cutlery, tea towels and furniture?
– Pet or no pet?
– Do you want to have kids? And if so, when?
– Where do you see us living in the future?
Congratulations, you’ve made it through the dating assault course and relationship minefield, and you’re in it for the long game. Yes, you are settling down but that doesn’t mean you have to take your foot off the gas – it’s important to keep things interesting and continue to push and inspire your partner, and vice versa.
That doesn’t mean waking them up every morning while reciting a new Chaucer verse; rather, go out now and again (remember those early days) and keep challenging each other and asking interesting questions. It will keep you on your toes, which is a good thing.
– If you could re-do one year of your life, which would it be and why?
– If you were to die tonight, what would be the one thing you would tell me?
– Do you have one secret you’ve never shared with anyone?
– Am I doing enough?
– Have you ever thought about sleeping with anyone else? Gosling doesn’t count.
– What’s your biggest life regret?
– What should our next big holiday be?
– Is there something you’d love to do, but feel like we can’t?
– Have you ever not done something that you wished you had, and still can do?
– What’s the happiest you’ve ever been?
– What big plan shall we make for the next five years?
There are tonnns of really great things that happen when you're dating someone new. Not only do you get to tell them all of your favorite stories again for the first time, but simple things like cuddling on the couch or goodnight texts make you feel like you're floating.
To get past the honeymoon stage though, you need to take some time to get to know the person you're with on a deeper, more intimate level. (And no, we're not talking about having sex here.)
Learning all the tiny things that make your partner them is the key to forming a lasting bond. But if you're unsure where to start, it's really just about asking the right questions.
Don't worry, they don't all have to be serious and lead to tears and unpacking past trauma, but they should be engaging and require more than a "yes" or "no" response.
So to help, we’ve consulted with dating and relationship experts on the best questions to ask when you really want to get to know someone. Here are the top 60 so you'll never have to talk about rain in the forecast again.
This simple Q tells you what they enjoy talking about, what may be their passion, and as a bonus, “this gives the individual a very open-ended approach to share things that may be hard to prompt,” says licensed psychologist Carly Claney, PhD.
Sure, the question itself is interesting, but it's how they answer it that really shows the answer. Do they launch into an eloquent and thought-provoking response or do they turn it back on you and listen closely? It's like an inception question.
Are you going to be hosting BBQs in the summer or Halloween parties in the fall? No, it's not super deep, but this is a date, not a therapy session. Throw some fun ones in the mix to keep things balanced.
Maybe it's memories. Maybe it's cat mugs. This shows not only how they view ~stuff,~ but what holds true value to them. Also! If they're a legit hoarder, it's probably a good idea to know that sooner rather than later so you can address it. Just saying.
Was it the year their friends threw them a huge surprise party or the year they spent alone, drinking beer, and reading a book? Sure, this can help you come up with ideas down the line but more importantly, it gives you an idea of what makes them feel special.
If you’re the kind of person who wants to spend your weekends relaxing with some wine instead of wake up early to go hiking, it's a good idea to see if your future partner's on the same page.
Asking someone about their childhood can sometimes feel a little too heavy or vague, so asking about pets growing up is a simpler way to do that. Oftentimes family pets bring back great memories and it'll give you an idea if they envision a future with a furry friend or not.
Granted, plenty of people aren't the biggest fans of clocking into their jobs, but are you with an optimist or a pessimist? Regardless of how much your job sucks, there's probably something good about it—even if it's just the iced coffee that makes you 15 minutes late every morning or the check that pays for your shoe obsession. This can clue you into whether you not you'd be listening to work complaints every day for the rest of your life if you end up together.
Not only will this give you deets about their extended family (and if you'll be expected to go to their grandma's house every 4th of July), but here’s how you learn if they have a secret castle in England or are heirs to the Toaster Strudel fortune.
First of all, it sucks to start getting serious about someone only for them to move across the country because they always wanted to live in Colorado. Potential LDRs aside, someone's dream location will probably give you a good idea of what sort of environment makes them happiest.
Especially if you're a reader, this is a super powerful question. Books tend to be extremely personal, and knowing what genres they like and what stories moved them can give you a deep insight into who they are. Plus, you might just get some awesome book recs that you two can chat about on your next date.
As someone who feels like a perpetual 12-year-old, this is always an interesting one to ask. Are they an old soul or young at heart? This can also give you an idea of where they are in their life because if they feel older or younger than their age, it might give an idea of what they're looking for in a relationship.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Billie Tyler suggests following up with questions like “What do you think excites you about that?” and “How do you know you are truly enjoying something?” to dive even deeper.
Maybe it's to eat dessert before dinner or twirl around outside while singing at the top of their lungs. Whatever it is, it's the perfect excuse to do something unique on your date and learn a little more about their playful side.
This answer could go one of two ways: It could be funny—like, I'd personally be arrested for robbing a CVS for all of their Reese’s peanut butter cups. But it could also be more serious and bring up events that may have happened in the past.
Just remember: “You want to get into the person’s values, personality, beliefs, and pivotal moments that made them who they are today,” says relationship expert Sophie Mona Pagès, founder of LVRSNFRNDS.
No, it's not going to solely determine whether you have a future together, but a shared love of ranch could be the start of a beautiful relationship. Also, whether they're a health nut or feel impassioned about waffle fries over curly fries, this is your chance to learn more about their food habits and drunchie preferences.
This is more fun to ask than "what's your favorite show" because it's a little more nuanced and gives insight into the types of characters that capture your date's attention. Follow up with questions about why they were interested in the character and how they felt about where their story went (if you're cool with spoilers, that is).
One time, a date hit me with this question, and I’ve loved it ever since. It may take the person some time to come up with an answer on the spot, but it’s worth the wait.
Apparently, if both of you are into scary movies, this is highly compatible, says marriage and family therapist Kati Marquez Meyers. Oh, and “people who enjoy scary movies tend to enjoy other adrenaline-inducing activities and also tend to identify themselves as risk-takers.”
Are they a Titanic type of person or a Lincoln type? Might as well know now if you're going to be faced with a lifetime of falling asleep in theaters or arguing over who gets the remote.
We all have moments that make us want to crawl in a hole and die, but being with someone who can laugh at past missteps is an extremely attractive quality, and shows they might be good at letting things go. Just be prepared to dish your embarrassing moments if you bring this up in convo!
Adding a scale makes answering more abstract questions a little easier since chances are their response changes depending on the day, situation, and mood. Listen to not only their response, by the "why" after it. Are they working hard to build a foundation for the future or do they care more about experiencing the now and aren't as focused on what's down the line? This can cue you into their goals and how they might align with yours.
This is more fun to ask than "what's your favorite food," and you'll probably get a better idea of the specific dishes they like. Plus, if this is a love connection, you now have the perfect menu for their birthday or special occasion.
Some days we feel more confident than others, but it's always important to take time to remember why you're awesome. This will also give you some idea of what they value in others, whether it's that their hair looks good or they spent all morning meal prepping for the week.
Meyers adds: “This question inspires self-reflection and invites discussion into your partner's deeper innate wants, desires, and areas where they might be feeling inadequate.”
Are you looking for a partner who will share their life with your followers or someone who's a little more private? How do you feel about being with someone who spends a lot of time scrolling? Chatting about your opinions and expectations surrounding social media can help determine whether you'll be compatible down the line. If one of you is always taking selfies and the other doesn't know how to hashtag, you might find yourselves butting heads.
We all have a story to tell, and this question specifically “gives a glimpse of a person’s past and the way they tackle challenges in life,” says love and dating coach Sandra Henderson.
Do they love that they took a walk? Wore the green shirt? Ordered the pasta instead of a salad? This will give you a glimpse at what they value in the everyday. Pro Tip: You might want to follow up that this isn't a trick question so they don't think they have to answer going on the date with you.
This includes whether they're healed from their past breakup, childhood trauma, a recent conflict at work, etc. "You don't want to enter a relationship with someone who will project issues of the past onto you that are unrelated to you," says counselor Sarah E. Williams. "Asking this question can help you determine if they are whole and fully ready to love."
Not only will this give you some insight into their relationship with their family, but it's a more subtle way of asking about what they value as well. Do they hope to be more present? Better at providing? Do they think their parents are perfect (which could also cause problems down the line)? Pay close attention not only to what they say but how they say it.
On the flip side, you want to know whether or not they see the good in people, and what sort of traits they value in others. Do they idolize their parents' cooking skills? Ability to fix anything? Work ethic? No matter what their relationship is like, there's a good chance there's something they admire about their folks.
This is the super subtle (but actually genius!) way of asking someone what type of relationship they're looking for. "This question allows you to get a good picture of what they are envisioning for their life and you get to see if a romantic relationship is part of their plan," says relationship expert Stephania Cruz. "If they don't mention having a romantic relationship as a goal, you can be more direct and ask them what their current relationship goals are."
This can be as simple as spiders and snakes, or as deep as commitment, loneliness, and/or abandonment. "This question allows individuals to understand their partner's vulnerabilities and sharing fears will strengthen the foundation of the relationship," says psychiatrist Leela R. Magavi, MD. "It will also help gain insight into someone's past and what helped to shape them."
Maybe they get amped up with show tunes or can't stand classical music. While a shared taste of music isn't exactly a deal-breaker or sealer, it will not only give an idea of their likes and dislikes, but it can shine a light on how different stimuli affect their moods.
In whatever way you want to interpret it, there's a big difference between looking up to your grandpa versus someone like LeBron James. Whoever they look up to, this question will help "conceptualize the partner's core values and personality type," says Dr. Magavi.
Truly, the MVP of all questions. "This helps individuals identify their partner's mode of giving and receiving love, which may improve communication and strengthen the relationship," says Dr. Magavi. So take the quiz yourself to find out which of the five love languages is your strongest: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, or acts of service.
"This question is great because it gives you an idea of that person's goals and life vision. You can determine if they're compatible with yours," says Jonathan Bennett, a relationship expert.
This question unpacks not only what the other person values but also lets you glance into your potential compatibility, says Veronica Grant, a love and life coach. There's no right or wrong answer, but depending on your personality (like you're a go-getter and they're happy just coasting through life), this question will take you straight to any potential personality clashes. You can either weed them out or start a fun convo about what the two of your visions together would look like, says Grant.
"I love this question because it breaks the ice and helps paint a picture without anyone getting caught up in their own ego. We are taught to identify ourselves by our jobs, hobbies, and our education (boring!), and this question totally lightens things up a lot," explains Nancy Ruth Deen, a relationship coach.
Their answer will let you know what they think is unfulfilled in their life and what they hope for, says Diane Strachowski, PhD, a licensed psychologist and expert on attachment theory. Did they wish for love? Monetary things? A promotion?
"If they blame the other person and don't take responsibility for their own part of it, watch out," warns Margaret Paul, a relationship expert. Nothing says red flag like someone with nothing but "crazy" exes. Smh.
Not everyone is super close with their family, but depending on how they view their relationship with them, this can tell you a lot. "Sometimes, what's going on in the family can have a big effect on the relationship," says Paul.
If they say "no one" and dealt with stressful situations alone, this is a good indicator that this is how they'll handle current and future stressors now. On the other hand, if they went to their parents all the time for everything, they might need a lot of validation from a partner, explains Strachowski.
Sure, combining finances is a step for WAY down the line, but still, it's worth asking as finances can be a huge issue in relationships, according to Paul. It can also be a good indicator of how they deal with life, in general. Are spontaneous weekend trips to Paris going to be a thing? Or are you guys gonna cook dinner at home more often than not?
This question lets you see what they value and how they spend their free time, explains Strachowski. Are they most proud of how their city soccer team went 10-0 last year, or do their eyes light up when they talk about the coffee table they built for their apartment last year?
How they answer will let you know what they expect from close ones during rough times, whether it be closeness and a shoulder to cry on or space, explains Strachowski. If you wind up dating and you find that they withdraw from you when they're lonely, remind yourself of this so you don't take it personally.
This question can give you insight into a person's core values, according to Bennett. If they name their single mother for raising them, they value responsibility and family. If they rattle off someone like Woody Allen, you can run.
By addictions, we mean anything from chocolate to working out or Netflix. "Everyone has some addictions," says Paul. The question is, are they going to be honest?
Even if you're not planning on moving in together or you're just gonna be BFFs, someone's baseline definition of "messy" can be super insightful. Are they gonna be pissed if you spread all your makeup out on the counter for a night out, or will you be annoyed if the laundry piles up on a chair for a week? "It's much easier if you are both neat or both messy, or both on time or late," Paul adds.
Depending on how they answer, you can gain a lot of info on what they did or didn't get from their parents and what they admire or look for in a person of the opposite or same sex, says Strachowski.
"This is a good question to get to know someone because it shows whether they believe there are consequences to their actions," says Laurie Berzack, MSW, a relationship expert and dating coach. If a coworker screws them over at work, are they going to stay up for days stewing about how to get revenge, or are they more the type to forgive and forget?
This one is interesting because it can open the door to either emotional history or just life stories in general. Was it when they got laid off from their dream job or was it when they got lost while hiking with friends? How they answer reveals their ability to overcome conflict and challenges, says Berzack.
Another open-ended cutie that can segue into good follow-up questions, depending on how they answer. If it's a physical place like the gym, or that one great hiking spot on their favorite trail, you can talk about those interests. If it's a more abstract answer like "any time I finish a book that's so good I immediately flip to the first page and start again," that's a good convo starter, too. "This question allows you to learn what the other person truly enjoys in life," says Bennett. You can also use it to plan for future dates, gift ideas, etc.
"Knowing someone's soft side is important to know what triggers them. If they don't cry, they may not be sensitive," says Strachowski. Again, if you're sobbing on a movie date in the future and look over to see nothin' but stoicism on their face, they're not a heartless robot—they just have a higher cry threshold than you.
This can be an unobtrusive way to find out the extent to which your date is trying to control the world around him or her, says Berzack. Plus, it opens the door for some lighthearted hate-bonding, whether it be over little or big things. Was the last time they got fired up because someone cut them off in traffic? Or, when they saw a bunch of people during rush hour refuse to give up their seat to an elderly person?
"It's always interesting to see what a person thinks is their best quality. By asking this question, you get insight into how the person views themselves and what they think is an important aspect of who they are," explains sex therapist Christopher Ryan Jones.
Not only does this give you a chance to potentially geek out over which Taylor Swift album is best (the only correct answer is "Folklore," obviously), but it also shows playfulness and vulnerability, especially if you've just met, says Deen.
This question lets you know two important things in one, explains Jones. It gives you insight into their past relationships and how they ended (does everything seem to go up in a huge wreck or do things end amicably?), and if they are friends, you'll know now and won't be surprised if/when they get a text from an ex they're still close with.
Sometimes, a person's intentions can be clearly discussed by simply asking them. Strachowski recommends listening closely to see if what they're seeking aligns with what you can give someone right now. Are they looking for a romantic partner, a best friend, or just a casual movie buddy?
This is a fun one that can tell you a lot about a person and their passions without them feeling too self-conscious about it, explains Deen. Do they want to be directing movies? Working with animals? Traveling the world? Depending on their answer, you've also got great banter to go off of afterward.
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This article is a list of the best first date questions out there. If you're looking for the right questions to ask on a first date, these first date questions won't disappoint.
First dates can be nerve-racking, and coming up with questions to ask on a date can be a hassle. I've shared practical first-date tips in many of my articles, so I know exactly how to get a girlfriend.
Read on.
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Starting an interesting conversation on a first date can be pretty daunting, especially if you're not big on small talk. Start your date off strong with a great conversation starter, and I promise you, you'll feel a lot closer to each other after just one date. Luckily for you, you only need to pick one from this list.
Here are the 19 best first date questions:
This might sound like a standard question but asking about her hobbies not only gives you an idea of the kinds of things she likes, and it can also help you see if you both share the same interests. Plus, if you want to impress her, knowing her hobby might give you an idea of what a perfect day looks like for her.
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We all look up to somebody. It could be a celebrity, a classical artist, a great author, a close friend, or a beloved family member. Whoever it is, asking your date this question is an excellent way to start a meaningful conversation.
If she's a bookworm, your date will love this interesting question. Trust me. I've never met a reader who doesn't love talking about the books they've read.
A movie night for a date is never a bad idea. That is if you pick the right ones. So this is a good question to ask in preparation for a perfect movie date. That is if you successfully got through the first date.
If you got through the first date, why not plan an amazing adventure for your second date to keep the momentum going? Asking this simple question is a great way to get an idea about the kinds of activities she enjoys doing.
I'm sure you have a guilty pleasure that you'd hate to admit but don't we all? We all go through a phase where we can't get enough of something, so I'm sure your date has one too. This is supposed to be a fun question, so try not to get all judgy.
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Pop culture has made binge-watching a norm, especially now that we're almost always at home. Not only is it a fun topic to talk about, but it also gives you a lot to add to your watch list. Is the lockdown keeping you from hanging out together? Don't worry. You can still enjoy a perfect date even apart—two words- Netflix party.
They say money can't buy happiness, but I'm not sure if I agree with that. I mean, I'm sure sky diving is a load of fun, and so is scuba diving, but boy, they sure don't come in cheap!
Aside from our families, our friends know us best. I'm sure she already made a great impression on you ( I mean, why else would you date her?), but this is a great question to ask if you want to get to know her better and see her in a different light.
Dick Clark couldn't have said it better. Music is indeed the soundtrack of your life. So maybe asking her this question can tell you something about your date's life.
Dr. Seuss sure knows what he's talking about when he said, "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
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Stepping out of our comfort zone to try new things always does us good. It's the best way to grow! I'm sure your date has a few things she wants to cross off her bucket list too. Maybe you're the guy who finally gets to finish it with her?
You can never go wrong with a woman who has a zest for life! This is one of the many first-date questions that help you get to know a girl better.
We've all been in weird and sketchy places, and it's almost always a good story to tell for next time. This conversation starter will have you and your date feeling excited, surprised, and maybe even a bit embarrassed, all at the same time.
We all have our guilty pleasures. Maybe she spends a lot of time browsing quotes on Twitter. Perhaps she'd hate to admit that she secretly loves the Kardashian?
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Wouldn't you like to know how it's like to live in ancient times? And how great would it be if you were with Leonardo Da Vinci when he painted Mona Lisa? This is definitely a fun topic to talk about.
One way or another, we'll all have defining moments that will change our lives forever. Maybe it already happened for your date? This deep question will pull you closer together.
What happens when an extrovert dates an introvert? Awkward silence. You don't want to be around someone you can't vibe with, right? Is she an introvert or an extrovert?
via: Mantelligence
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If you can't seem to figure out a topic, try out one of these first date conversation starters. Great conversation starters can really set the mood on a date, and asking the right questions can make all the difference.
Here are 14 first date conversation starters:
Owning a pet is a big responsibility and a big commitment. Whether she's a cat person or a dog person, you can always bet that she's the kind of woman that can take care of you.
If she is a foodie, she'll have a lot of answers to this question. And If she's a foodie, she's probably a good cook too- that's always a good sign for me.
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Ask next whether she's the first child, middle, last or only child. Asking for her birth order is a great way for you to get to know your date better.
Women who love to read can sure carry a conversation, and they're probably the type of girls you'd want to introduce to your parents. Parents love smart girls.
It's different for everyone, but I'm sure you'll get an interesting answer every time. Maybe she can win gold for spending too much time on social media? Or perhaps she can win an award for being able to drive a car without getting a ticket, ever?
Ask her this question to get an idea for future dates. Whatever type of girl she is, girls always love it when their man plan dates for her. If you keep a girl happy, you'll always be her favorite view.
The activities a girl enjoys doing can tell you a lot about her. She's definitely a modern-aged woman if she likes going to pop culture events. She's the creative type if she likes music festivals. She's a free spirit if she prefers a day on the beach.
Asking about how she celebrates holidays will give you an idea about a girl's preference. You know, in case you get to spend it with her next time.
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Any girl with a sweet tooth will love this question. I mean, how can you not love ice cream? It's one of the best things in the world.
Where are my Millenials at? I'm sure any one of you can name one too many shows you used to love as a kid. Good times, am I right?
Second dates exist as solutions for bad first dates. If you're already preparing for second date ideas, this might be a good question to ask on a first date. Believe it or not, indoor dates can be as fun as outdoor dates.
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Funny stories always come in handy for cooling down first-day jitters.
Words have the power to inspire, and you can never have too many motivational quotes. I mean, they just make sense. I'm sure your date has a favorite mantra too.
Ten thousand dollars can buy you many things. Whether or not she spends it on something worth it is her choice. Aren't you just a little bit curious what your date would do with it? A quick bout of excitement or a lasting investment?
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A first date is the most exciting way to introduce yourself, and asking great get to know you questions can make you closer than ever. They're a little more personal, which makes them perfect questions for a girl you like.
Still searching for questions to ask a girl to get to know her. Look no further.
Here are 22 get to know you questions to ask on a date:
It might be hard to hang out with a morning person when you're a night owl so you might want to get that out of the way as early as the first date.
Food is universal and it's the quickest way to get through anyone's heart. Take note of her answers for future reference.
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A girl with a dream is a girl who doesn't quit. If that's how she is in life, imagine how she would be about love?
A great woman deserves all the good things in life- especially the perfect vacation. Asking her this question is precisely how you plan an ideal out-of-town trip.
Her answer will prove to be useful for when you want to surprise her with a breakfast date. Trust me. Women go crazy for breakfast dates.
You can't be everyone's cup of tea. Everyone knows that. You might want to know her answer to this to make sure that she can get along with your friends.
Being able to twist your tongue in weird ways is only one of the many freakish talents that exist. Believe it or not, there are a lot of extraordinary people who can do out-of-this-world tricks. Your date might just be one of them.
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If you're the type who likes to get into deep and thought-provoking conversations, this question is perfect for self-reflection. It's a great way to get an idea about a woman's priorities in life.
Be it a book club, hiking group, or a charity organization, a girl who's always out-and-about town is a girl who comes with a lot of impressive qualities. You'll never run out of topics to talk about when you're dating a social butterfly.
Drinking a pina colada by the beach; Getting an all-expenses-paid spa day? The list can go on.
Many of us have a favorite place from our childhood. Maybe she can take you there one day.
I don't know about you and your date, but If I found a briefcase filled with that much money, I won't, for sure, waste it.
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We all see the world differently. I can probably think of one or two odd tips that I've, unfortunately, listened to.
Where does she spend most of her free time?
If she's the type of girl who couldn't care less about your money- marry her.
Sometimes we do things people don't expect us to. People can come up with their idea of us based on how we look and their interactions with us. That's why they get so surprised.
That will be the day, am I right? We've practically evolved into half-robots by the time that happens.
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As kids, we all wanted to grow up fast because we thought grown-ups had more fun. Now that you're all grown up, how is it going for you?
I'd probably send a letter to the one-year-ago me so I can be rich today.
We all have versions of ourselves with different people. I'm sure you'd want to be the type she can be herself with.
Netflix should have a "surprise me" button.
She'll probably say it's cream but it could be anything, really. Maybe eating spicy food cheers her up?
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Never have I ever questions for couples" always works.
Here are 17 first date never have I ever questions for couples:
One of the great joys of coupledom that you can imagine together.
Basically, never have I ever been in a truly serious relationship.
It's a fun thing to try if the first date is a success. There are activities made for more people to enjoy.
Veteran or newbie, this is a great way to transition to the karaoke bar for more fun. Follow up with "When's the last time you went"?
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It's cruel, but sharing that story will establish a lot of intimacy.
Find out just how fluid their sexuality is.
Are they demonstrably kind-hearted, or do they walk past the miseries of life like the rest of us?
How much do they snoop around on friends and potential romantic partners?
I'm impressed at the person's self-control who has never tried taking even the shampoo for a hotel room.
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Good to know before the night is over.
How old-school is their dating experience?
Find out now if there's more competition to worry about after the first date's a hit.
Does she do commitment? You know the answer now.
She either has or she's a liar.
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Whether it's an innocent tease, a childish prank, or serious bullying she regrets, there's a story there.
There's nothing wrong with liking it, but some would say that she's a keeper if she didn't keep up with the Kardashians.
How pure at heart or practical is she?
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Everyone loves to laugh. And everyone likes being around people who make them laugh.
So if you want people to like you more, you should probably have some funny questions to ask on hand. As for the ladies...
If you're still working on asking her out, take a look at our funny questions to ask a girl. They're written specially to get her interested in you.
Here are 16 funny questions to ask:
The older you get, the harder it is to understand fads.
What spooks her that shouldn't?
A gorgeous body or a healthy mind?
Ever have a weirdo call and drone on about nonsense?
Some technology never works when we want it to.
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There are plenty to choose from.
Boredom breeds creativity. Some of humanity's most outstanding achievements have come from boredom.
I bet your bottom dollar it's going to be Tiktok.
You can do this with any corporation or business. It's an entertaining game.
Use your cheesiest pick up line after asking this question for either a giggle or a stern look of disapproval.
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We all have them. They make us unique.
What does their perfect utopia look like?
Sometimes breaking out of our comfort zones makes us realize we never want to try that again.
Sometimes, breaking out of your comfort zone will make you realize how much you don't want to do a thing again. It's fun, exciting, and you can even learn something from it.
A classic, fun one that is sure to produce some laughs.
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That one moment, your entire social status in high school, was up for debate.
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Being a little odd and quirky is one of those things that has mixed results with people.
Some people like random questions while other people aren't too keen on them. Regardless of how anyone feels about how strange and spontaneous you can be, it would be best if you kept being yourself (unless you're overbearing.)
So if you're feeling a little goofy and the mood is right, random questions to ask a girl can be your best friend!
Pugs are somehow cute and disgusting at the same time.
Every piece of furniture has a story, especially in college.
Some chores are more enjoyable than others!
Because I've been having this problem with my laptop...
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What items are worth a high price tag?
It's always wise to be prepared.
We all sing to ourselves from time to time! Don't say you've never tried it.
It's important to stay active, especially as you grow older.
Strawberry toothpaste and chives.
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It's always handy to have a few random facts to throw out there.
Don't underestimate a good (or bad) smell. They stick with you.
Presenting something to a class or an auditorium is both equally nerve-racking.
Has she oddly met a new friend? Is this their best friend? What's the story?
Every sport is fun to play while drunk, but which would be the funniest to watch?
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The name doesn't always match the sound.
Those little distraction devices are hard to live without.
What would she like to get away with?
It's like something out of a nightmare, but how did you get there in the first place?
Zip through the forest as a Wren or soar across the sea like an Albatross?
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This one is interesting because you'll find out if she's one with nature or not.
I've seen both tactics ruin friendships between roommates. People can't seem to agree on where to squeeze the tube.
Maybe reincarnation does exist. What are the implications if it does?
Would she destroy her opponents or make the world a more sustainable place?
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Would you rather questions are always fun to ask, no matter the situation. I highly recommend them on your first time out together.
Here are 18 would you rather questions to ask on a first date:
If she's a wanderlust, she won't even have to choose between the two.
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Zoom zoom. The ultimate road trip car or the best internet experience.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a cake.
Flirty doesn't always mean dishonest, and nice doesn't always mean faithful.
It's time for lunch Gertrude. Today we ordered Taco Bell for you and the other residents!
Lots of thrills or lots of family?
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Work is work and it's always hard either way. Pick one.
Work smarter, not harder.
Both will be the first to go when the earth heats up.
Before you decide, read up on why your sense of smell is so important!
Are you thrilled or chilled?
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All the personal space you can imagine or no personal space at all?
Each can be better than the other, depending on who you're talking to. This will give you a lot of opinionated answers.
Home is where the fax is.
Someone you know you can count on or a bunch of someones you might be able to count on?
Tiny houses have become more and more popular over the years.
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Fancy feast or tasty treats?
Either way, being any of the two can be a lot of pressure.
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Deep questions to ask are fantastic for when the conversation gets a little more personal.
They deal with our deepest thoughts and feelings, which you'll want to know when talking to a girl you like. We have other deep questions to ask a girl, but below are some hand-selected ones specifically for a first date.
Here are 19 deep topics to talk about during your first date:
What would she do if all of her time was free time?
She should be proud of herself if she's ever going to be proud of you.
What if they followed it? Do you think their lives would change for the better?
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Is she a team player, or is she a leader?
You'd never think you'd change, but you will. Even just looking back a year ago from now, there's a lot of change that happened to you. What more if you look back to when you were in high school?
Being uncomfortable helps us grow into stronger versions of ourselves.
The answer will be different every time so that's for you to find out.
I don't know about you guys, but I would love to know if Big Foots exist.
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This is a great question to ask a date. Why? It's because nostalgia is a powerful drug.
With age comes new struggles and things to be thankful for.
How can you truly understand a person?
You can learn a lot from different people. Seriously, every person here on earth has a lesson a teach.
What would she enjoy being an expert in?
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Sometimes we lose track of friends but we never lose track of how they made us feel.
Dedication and discipline are attractive. What does success look like to them?
If she's an introvert, you might want to know whether or not she's comfortable with parties.
In other words, what's on their bucket list. What's the best life they could live with given our limited time?
What makes a true friendship last? I'm sure everyone has different answers, and those with the same answers are friends!
There are plenty of pros and cons to being famous.
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You don't always have a ton of time to get to know someone on a first date. When you're dealing with speed dating, that's particularly true. In that situation, use these speed dating questions to find out if you are compatible with this person quickly.
Here are 10 speed dating questions:
Admittedly, this is a dangerous first-date question. But one way or the other, you'll want to be compatible with this.
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If you hit it off, watch that tv show/movie together.
If yes, get them to teach you a bit.
Optimists and pessimists tend to work best when they're together.
Find shared hobbies or activities you'd want to try together.
You can never go wrong with a girl who reads. She knows all kinds of exciting things about the world and beyond. A well-read lady is an intelligent person to talk with.
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Take a trip down memory lane and talk about your favorite games to play as a child. It's probably the easiest way to break the ice.
It may not be good to ask this during dinner, but it is a pretty interesting question. I'm sure she can think of a lot of foods they'd want to eat for their last meal.
Even the most ordinary people can come up with ingenious ideas. Maybe your date has one.
If you're still not aware of this popular concept, you're missing out on a lot of helpful insights. If you want to know whether or not you're compatible with your date, you better start learning all about the personality types.
Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of good first date questions (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):
via: Mantelligence
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Asking questions on a first date is scary. But what is more terrifying is not knowing what to talk about on a first date.
Just remember these 3 steps, and you'll have a wonderful time.
Here is how to ask questions on a first date:
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