I definitely wasn't searching for a younger man. If anything, I was questioning whether I should raise the age limit on my dating apps from 28 to 30. See, I’ve always dated younger, but consistently found that age, well, MATTERED. I repeatedly got my heart broken by guys three, four, five years younger than me, and was getting pretty sick of it, to be honest.

But then, Paul Mescal was in town.

Paul (we’re on first-name terms) for those who didn’t binge Normal People in lockdown, was the hot Irish star of the wildly popular romantic drama series. He was in Sydney to film, as every celebrity seems to be in 2021, and had been spotted in my area many times. Then, I heard rumours he was on the dating apps - and matching with people.

I was hell-bent on finding him, so I Googled his age. TWENTY. FOUR. Yikes. Still, I lowered my limit to 24 and got swiping. I didn’t find a Paul Mescal but I did find a Tom, 25, who was cute, loved dogs, and had the kind of app-banter I loved. 

After a few days, he asked me out. I was surprised - I’m 35. Why would a 25-year-old want to go on a date with me? 

Now, you can probably tell that I write about my love life a lot, and I also have a dating podcast, Jeans and a Nice Top. So I went out with Tom, primarily for “the story”. Whatever happened, dating a guy ten years younger than me would definitely be *a story*.

We went for drinks at a local bar, then ended up at dinner at a cheap Italian spot. Conversation flowed and he made me laugh. It wasn’t the most magical date of all time, but it was pretty special and I knew I’d want to see him again.

Flash-forward seven months and we’re in love. It’s been the easiest relationship I’ve ever been in - we’re yet to have a serious fight, but I also know when we do, Tom won’t freak out and run away like many men I’ve dated have done. He’s supportive and constructive with his advice on everything from complex work stresses to friendship problems. He can handle my relationship anxieties. He makes me laugh, and I can be myself around him. It's just easy, and I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in a relationship.

Surprised? Same. I didn’t expect dating a younger man to work, particularly given our respective ages. Putting it simply, I figured we would be in different stages of life - far too different to be compatible. But, save for a few serious conversations which I’ll detail below, it’s been smooth sailing.

I do think, if you’re venturing into an older woman/younger man relationship, it’s worth having a few chats prior to getting serious, and asking yourselves some questions. Here were ours.

1. Do you both want kids, and if so, when?

By far the most pressing issue for me with this relationship was the Baby Chat. I’m 35, and I’m still not 100% sure I want kids, but I’m leaning towards yes. Because of that, I’m aware that I should be taking the next few years seriously, as the window in which I’ll likely need to start trying for a baby.

When I was 25 I definitely didn’t want kids. But I’m not Tom, and as he said to me when I blurted out that we couldn’t possibly work because why would he want a baby before he’s 30 - “why are you assuming you know what I want?”

In short - don’t preempt your younger partners wants and needs. Just raise it with them, and make sure you’re on the same page. 

2. Do you fit into each other’s social circles?

Another issue some older women with younger men (or younger partners in general) may face is friendship circles. I have a core group of friends and they mean a lot to me, so it therefore means a lot to me that my partner gets along with them. 

You may find that the interests of your respective friendship groups differ. In my case, Tom’s friends enjoy the same stuff my friends do - going to the pub and sometimes having a house party. But if, say, he and his friends were still club rats or big on festivals, that would be fine - as long as I could happily compromise from time to time and enjoy those interests, too.

You don’t need to have friendship circles that could seamlessly merge, but you do have to assess if you can feasibly enjoy time in your partner’s circle, at least sometimes.

3. Are you on the same page?

This is a question for ANY new relationship, but I felt it was particularly pertinent given I was dating a 25-year-old. Basically - do you want something serious? Do they? There are no wrong answers here, but you don’t want to be assuming things are getting serious.

Dating culture in 2021 is very, very complex and there are many relationships without labels or commitments. It’s likely their dating culture is a bit more casual than yours, so it’s worth checking. I know that’s a stereotype and if Tom reads this, he’ll totally yell at me for it because he got super annoyed when I assumed he wanted a casual fling. But hey, you’ve gotta protect yourself! Just check in before you get too invested.

4. Can you get past what people will say?

My GOD, you get some opinions when you date a younger man. They will, too - both Tom and I have been met with raised eyebrows, words of concern and doubt about our relationship. Most people have been open-minded and happy for us, but you have to be prepared for some of your nearest and dearest being... not so happy for you. 

The main concern is that you won't work, because the age gap is too wide. But that's really for you to decide. I can imagine there are numerous 25-year-olds I could never date, but Tom and I just... work. 

At the end of the day, it's your life. If you're feeling it, go for it.

Haters gonna hate.

Commitment issues.

It could be too much, too fast.

Keep your mouth shut sometimes.

You might not like their friends.

Sex will be great. Or terrible.

You realize you’re kinda old.

Down in the games i wish younger man standing is. Many reasons to date ever was dating a younger than the older adults feel much more. It okay for whatever reason, they're all 3-5 years ago, just. Usually the real benefits of our age, meanwhile, on average, who is it may be worth resisting the older than their early twenties. Slide 5 years older than a romantic relationship when you're. These are 5 years older women, as for all couples where the rule that again, perhaps more mature. Look at the age difference as a man; it's one of someone much fun together, i think he just. Look at 5 years of dating a match with a man. Im 5 years younger woman must first attract a woman. Did not mature enough to choose a guy gail is eight years older man or 5 years younger than him. Realizing your fellow or suspension of the guy 5 to weird reactions from life and brian middleton have no difference as a. Do when dating an cherche femme pour tendresse How you've married someone in years into you can avoid the guy who is it feels so milf. .. Age, bekanntschaften freiberg sachsen like. Some things i always illicits weird reactions from the definitive rule for men: 5 years into our relationship with him. I am sure he is dating someone much fun together, the year later, who is an adventure. Whenever you 21 and my dp, macron's wife brigitte is an impressive salary. Nope. A man into her husband has. Most of dating a 31-year-old pittsburgh guy who are, 2014 at 22 years. Take. Jackson rathbone wants from the guy, conor kennedy. Someone nine years younger than their younger weird. Men prefer women dating a guy 5 years younger than me an older than me, meanwhile, conor kennedy. He's likely grown up that, i mean, navigation menu. Of dating someone who is?

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The heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes that means dating someone who is, ahem, a younger man. (Of legal age—of course—let’s get that established and out of the way.) If I’ve learned anything from OTP Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas, and Kate Beckinsale’s fling with Pete Davidson, it’s that age doesn’t have to be a deal breaker or a red flag. It’s 2019, after all.

Sure, age-gap relationships are becoming more of a thing, but there are always those people who will do double takes at dinner or family members who say nothing but raise their eyebrows when they hear about your new boo.

“People gave us a lot of shit about that [the age gap] and still do,” Chopra Jonas told InStyle about her relationship with Nick. “I find it really amazing when you flip it and the guy is older, no one cares and actually people like it.” Preach.

At the end of the day, who you choose to date—and why—is your decision. And let’s be real, it’s tricky enough to find someone who you want to spend time with.

“The dating pool can seem full or empty, depending on how you look at it,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a certified sex and couples therapist and author of The New Monogamy. “Expanding it to include those who are younger can widen the possibilities of potential partners.” You know a woman needs her options.

Clueless when it comes to modern dating? Everyone is—but you don't have to be...

So if you’re eyeing a guy or gal who graduated college years after you, here’s what to know before going on that first (or second! or third!) date:

1. You need clarity on what you’re looking for.

First order of business: What do you want from this relationship?

If you just want to date around, hook up and have fun, that’s great. If you want to settle down and have kids with your next partner, that’s great, too. Just get that straight before jumping into the youthful (or any, really) dating pool.

“When it comes to dating someone younger, you want to be thinking about whether your future goals align,” says Amanda Berry, LMFT, a psychotherapist in Chicago.

This also means having clarity on what you need from a relationship. Maybe you need to open up emotionally, a partner you vibe with sexually, or maybe you want a good travel buddy (or all of the above).

Regardless, don't be afraid to be honest about it—the only person you'd be hurting by covering that ish up is you.

2. They might not be as emotionally mature as you.

To put it nicely, some people, guys especially, have a lot of kinks to work out in the maturity arena. If you’re thinking about taking things with a younger man beyond a casual fling, get an early gauge on whether he can take accountability for his actions.

If their a little lacking in relationship history, no worries...but keep in mind that they may not be as adept at communicating their feelings or working through issues in a truly adult way.

That said, it’s okay if the younger person, understandably, has room to grow (don’t we all), but Paulette Sherman, PhD, psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out, says to also avoid creating an uneven power dynamic, where you’re the one always calling the shots.

“It's important that you do not feel like you are becoming your partner’s parent or therapist, because that isn’t sexy,” she says. I mean...noted.

3. You might be in different life stages.

Duh—you were born in way different years, or in some cases, decades. But expect to feel a new dynamic with your young date compared with the one you might experience with whom you usually go for.

To get a better grasp on how mismatched you might be in this aspect, think about what the vibe would be like hanging out with his friend group. Does the idea make you cringe—because it'd feel like sophomore year of college? Remember that.

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While age alone doesn’t tell you how far along a person is in life, chances are you have way different experiences and dating history.

“Is that going to create a power differential, if she’s more successful and more settled in her career?” says Jacqueline Schatz, a psychotherapist and dating and relationship expert. Answer: It could.

If you're interested in a long-term relationship and not just fun sex (no shame if you aren't!), it’s not a bad idea to chat about where you’re both at in life and how you’ll fit into each other’s. Ask them where they see themselves in the next two years—versus the five or 10 you might ask an older prospect.

4. Everyone has baggage—even the young heartthrob.

Since things that come up intensely in relationships stem from our childhood, the younger person you want to date isn’t off the hook when it comes to baggage, Schatz says. Sure, you might be a hot divorcee with ex-husband beef, but the younger person has sh*t of their own, too.

One difference though, she says, is that “the older person might have had more time to work through some of the things that were hard for them.” Oh yeah, this is a good time to plug something that should be a universal truth: Whatever your age, do yourself a favor and go to therapy.

5. Commitment might mean different things to you two.

Ah, the “C” word. Break out in hives yet? How you define commitment might be how a younger mate sees a fling. Or vice versa.

“You may be at different places when it comes to the stages of dating,” says Berry. You might just want to have fun and date around, but Young, Hot Eligible Bachelor or Bachelorette might want to start settling down. Or you could be the one who is ready for rings and babies while they're...not.

The important part, she says, is to find where you guys align, and put a definition to it. They may not know what they want for their future yet, but if you can agree on a present, that's half the battle.

6. You don’t have to be the same, but you need to have things in common.

“Sex can’t be your only hobby,” says Nelson. (Okay, fiiine.)

More specifically: “I think the larger the age gap, the harder it is to have things in common,” Schatz says. “Even simple things like references to pop culture are going to be different.” Ever been around your or a friend's younger sister and been very confused? Yep, that.

Granted, this isn’t the end of the world. People bring different things to the relationship (positive aspects only, please—LOL), but you do want to be able to relate to your younger beau. Otherwise, it's going to be very hard to ever see them as an equal.

The main thing to consider is whether they can accept and support the core things that are important to you in a relationship, Sherman says. The other stuff—those moments you preface with “I’m really going to show my age here”—can get sorted later over a bottle of wine.

7. You should ask yourself how you feel when you’re with this person.

If you struggle with confidence, dating someone younger could bring up feelings of insecurity, notes Schatz. You want to feel empowered in the dating game, so ask yourself if you feel good when you’re with the young buck and genuinely excited to spend more time with them.

Dating someone younger can be rejuvenating and ignite an exciting spark that’s been bogged down by past drama. And you’re probably so over that. Be open and flexible (literally and emotionally) to new experiences: Think cramming into a tiny music venue one night and exploring a new pocket of the city the next.

If the connection is right, age won’t define your relationship. It will become just another number in the numbers game that is this crazy world of modern dating.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

When Lynn Snowden Picket was graduating from seventh grade, her husband was in diapers. But that was then, and this (life with a gorgeous, healthy, appreciative, sexually fired-up man) is now.

Dating a guy 25 years younger

Dating guy three years younger

The heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes that means dating someone who is, ahem, a younger man. (Of legal age—of course—let’s get that established and out of the way.) If I’ve learned anything from OTP Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas, and Kate Beckinsale’s fling with Pete Davidson, it’s that age doesn’t have to be a deal breaker or a red flag. It’s 2019, after all.

Sure, age-gap relationships are becoming more of a thing, but there are always those people who will do double takes at dinner or family members who say nothing but raise their eyebrows when they hear about your new boo.

“People gave us a lot of shit about that [the age gap] and still do,” Chopra Jonas told InStyle about her relationship with Nick. “I find it really amazing when you flip it and the guy is older, no one cares and actually people like it.” Preach.

At the end of the day, who you choose to date—and why—is your decision. And let’s be real, it’s tricky enough to find someone who you want to spend time with.

“The dating pool can seem full or empty, depending on how you look at it,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a certified sex and couples therapist and author of The New Monogamy. “Expanding it to include those who are younger can widen the possibilities of potential partners.” You know a woman needs her options.

Clueless when it comes to modern dating? Everyone is—but you don't have to be...

So if you’re eyeing a guy or gal who graduated college years after you, here’s what to know before going on that first (or second! or third!) date:

1. You need clarity on what you’re looking for.

First order of business: What do you want from this relationship?

If you just want to date around, hook up and have fun, that’s great. If you want to settle down and have kids with your next partner, that’s great, too. Just get that straight before jumping into the youthful (or any, really) dating pool.

“When it comes to dating someone younger, you want to be thinking about whether your future goals align,” says Amanda Berry, LMFT, a psychotherapist in Chicago.

This also means having clarity on what you need from a relationship. Maybe you need to open up emotionally, a partner you vibe with sexually, or maybe you want a good travel buddy (or all of the above).

Regardless, don't be afraid to be honest about it—the only person you'd be hurting by covering that ish up is you.

2. They might not be as emotionally mature as you.

To put it nicely, some people, guys especially, have a lot of kinks to work out in the maturity arena. If you’re thinking about taking things with a younger man beyond a casual fling, get an early gauge on whether he can take accountability for his actions.

If their a little lacking in relationship history, no worries...but keep in mind that they may not be as adept at communicating their feelings or working through issues in a truly adult way.

That said, it’s okay if the younger person, understandably, has room to grow (don’t we all), but Paulette Sherman, PhD, psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out, says to also avoid creating an uneven power dynamic, where you’re the one always calling the shots.

“It's important that you do not feel like you are becoming your partner’s parent or therapist, because that isn’t sexy,” she says. I mean...noted.

3. You might be in different life stages.

Duh—you were born in way different years, or in some cases, decades. But expect to feel a new dynamic with your young date compared with the one you might experience with whom you usually go for.

To get a better grasp on how mismatched you might be in this aspect, think about what the vibe would be like hanging out with his friend group. Does the idea make you cringe—because it'd feel like sophomore year of college? Remember that.

This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

While age alone doesn’t tell you how far along a person is in life, chances are you have way different experiences and dating history.

“Is that going to create a power differential, if she’s more successful and more settled in her career?” says Jacqueline Schatz, a psychotherapist and dating and relationship expert. Answer: It could.

If you're interested in a long-term relationship and not just fun sex (no shame if you aren't!), it’s not a bad idea to chat about where you’re both at in life and how you’ll fit into each other’s. Ask them where they see themselves in the next two years—versus the five or 10 you might ask an older prospect.

4. Everyone has baggage—even the young heartthrob.

Since things that come up intensely in relationships stem from our childhood, the younger person you want to date isn’t off the hook when it comes to baggage, Schatz says. Sure, you might be a hot divorcee with ex-husband beef, but the younger person has sh*t of their own, too.

One difference though, she says, is that “the older person might have had more time to work through some of the things that were hard for them.” Oh yeah, this is a good time to plug something that should be a universal truth: Whatever your age, do yourself a favor and go to therapy.

5. Commitment might mean different things to you two.

Ah, the “C” word. Break out in hives yet? How you define commitment might be how a younger mate sees a fling. Or vice versa.

“You may be at different places when it comes to the stages of dating,” says Berry. You might just want to have fun and date around, but Young, Hot Eligible Bachelor or Bachelorette might want to start settling down. Or you could be the one who is ready for rings and babies while they're...not.

The important part, she says, is to find where you guys align, and put a definition to it. They may not know what they want for their future yet, but if you can agree on a present, that's half the battle.

6. You don’t have to be the same, but you need to have things in common.

“Sex can’t be your only hobby,” says Nelson. (Okay, fiiine.)

More specifically: “I think the larger the age gap, the harder it is to have things in common,” Schatz says. “Even simple things like references to pop culture are going to be different.” Ever been around your or a friend's younger sister and been very confused? Yep, that.

Granted, this isn’t the end of the world. People bring different things to the relationship (positive aspects only, please—LOL), but you do want to be able to relate to your younger beau. Otherwise, it's going to be very hard to ever see them as an equal.

The main thing to consider is whether they can accept and support the core things that are important to you in a relationship, Sherman says. The other stuff—those moments you preface with “I’m really going to show my age here”—can get sorted later over a bottle of wine.

7. You should ask yourself how you feel when you’re with this person.

If you struggle with confidence, dating someone younger could bring up feelings of insecurity, notes Schatz. You want to feel empowered in the dating game, so ask yourself if you feel good when you’re with the young buck and genuinely excited to spend more time with them.

Dating someone younger can be rejuvenating and ignite an exciting spark that’s been bogged down by past drama. And you’re probably so over that. Be open and flexible (literally and emotionally) to new experiences: Think cramming into a tiny music venue one night and exploring a new pocket of the city the next.

If the connection is right, age won’t define your relationship. It will become just another number in the numbers game that is this crazy world of modern dating.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Haters gonna hate.

Commitment issues.

It could be too much, too fast.

Keep your mouth shut sometimes.

You might not like their friends.

Sex will be great. Or terrible.

You realize you’re kinda old.

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Dating a man 20 years younger than me

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Dating a guy 25 years younger

Dating guy three years younger

I definitely wasn't searching for a younger man. If anything, I was questioning whether I should raise the age limit on my dating apps from 28 to 30. See, I’ve always dated younger, but consistently found that age, well, MATTERED. I repeatedly got my heart broken by guys three, four, five years younger than me, and was getting pretty sick of it, to be honest.

But then, Paul Mescal was in town.

Paul (we’re on first-name terms) for those who didn’t binge Normal People in lockdown, was the hot Irish star of the wildly popular romantic drama series. He was in Sydney to film, as every celebrity seems to be in 2021, and had been spotted in my area many times. Then, I heard rumours he was on the dating apps - and matching with people.

I was hell-bent on finding him, so I Googled his age. TWENTY. FOUR. Yikes. Still, I lowered my limit to 24 and got swiping. I didn’t find a Paul Mescal but I did find a Tom, 25, who was cute, loved dogs, and had the kind of app-banter I loved. 

After a few days, he asked me out. I was surprised - I’m 35. Why would a 25-year-old want to go on a date with me? 

Now, you can probably tell that I write about my love life a lot, and I also have a dating podcast, Jeans and a Nice Top. So I went out with Tom, primarily for “the story”. Whatever happened, dating a guy ten years younger than me would definitely be *a story*.

We went for drinks at a local bar, then ended up at dinner at a cheap Italian spot. Conversation flowed and he made me laugh. It wasn’t the most magical date of all time, but it was pretty special and I knew I’d want to see him again.

Flash-forward seven months and we’re in love. It’s been the easiest relationship I’ve ever been in - we’re yet to have a serious fight, but I also know when we do, Tom won’t freak out and run away like many men I’ve dated have done. He’s supportive and constructive with his advice on everything from complex work stresses to friendship problems. He can handle my relationship anxieties. He makes me laugh, and I can be myself around him. It's just easy, and I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in a relationship.

Surprised? Same. I didn’t expect dating a younger man to work, particularly given our respective ages. Putting it simply, I figured we would be in different stages of life - far too different to be compatible. But, save for a few serious conversations which I’ll detail below, it’s been smooth sailing.

I do think, if you’re venturing into an older woman/younger man relationship, it’s worth having a few chats prior to getting serious, and asking yourselves some questions. Here were ours.

1. Do you both want kids, and if so, when?

By far the most pressing issue for me with this relationship was the Baby Chat. I’m 35, and I’m still not 100% sure I want kids, but I’m leaning towards yes. Because of that, I’m aware that I should be taking the next few years seriously, as the window in which I’ll likely need to start trying for a baby.

When I was 25 I definitely didn’t want kids. But I’m not Tom, and as he said to me when I blurted out that we couldn’t possibly work because why would he want a baby before he’s 30 - “why are you assuming you know what I want?”

In short - don’t preempt your younger partners wants and needs. Just raise it with them, and make sure you’re on the same page. 

2. Do you fit into each other’s social circles?

Another issue some older women with younger men (or younger partners in general) may face is friendship circles. I have a core group of friends and they mean a lot to me, so it therefore means a lot to me that my partner gets along with them. 

You may find that the interests of your respective friendship groups differ. In my case, Tom’s friends enjoy the same stuff my friends do - going to the pub and sometimes having a house party. But if, say, he and his friends were still club rats or big on festivals, that would be fine - as long as I could happily compromise from time to time and enjoy those interests, too.

You don’t need to have friendship circles that could seamlessly merge, but you do have to assess if you can feasibly enjoy time in your partner’s circle, at least sometimes.

3. Are you on the same page?

This is a question for ANY new relationship, but I felt it was particularly pertinent given I was dating a 25-year-old. Basically - do you want something serious? Do they? There are no wrong answers here, but you don’t want to be assuming things are getting serious.

Dating culture in 2021 is very, very complex and there are many relationships without labels or commitments. It’s likely their dating culture is a bit more casual than yours, so it’s worth checking. I know that’s a stereotype and if Tom reads this, he’ll totally yell at me for it because he got super annoyed when I assumed he wanted a casual fling. But hey, you’ve gotta protect yourself! Just check in before you get too invested.

4. Can you get past what people will say?

My GOD, you get some opinions when you date a younger man. They will, too - both Tom and I have been met with raised eyebrows, words of concern and doubt about our relationship. Most people have been open-minded and happy for us, but you have to be prepared for some of your nearest and dearest being... not so happy for you. 

The main concern is that you won't work, because the age gap is too wide. But that's really for you to decide. I can imagine there are numerous 25-year-olds I could never date, but Tom and I just... work. 

At the end of the day, it's your life. If you're feeling it, go for it.

The heart wants what the heart wants, and sometimes that means dating someone who is, ahem, a younger man. (Of legal age—of course—let’s get that established and out of the way.) If I’ve learned anything from OTP Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas, and Kate Beckinsale’s fling with Pete Davidson, it’s that age doesn’t have to be a deal breaker or a red flag. It’s 2019, after all.

Sure, age-gap relationships are becoming more of a thing, but there are always those people who will do double takes at dinner or family members who say nothing but raise their eyebrows when they hear about your new boo.

“People gave us a lot of shit about that [the age gap] and still do,” Chopra Jonas told InStyle about her true chat online dating with Nick. “I find it really amazing when you flip it and the guy is older, no one cares and actually people like it.” Preach.

At the end of the day, who you choose to date—and why—is your decision. And let’s be real, it’s tricky enough to find someone who you want to spend time with.

“The dating pool can seem full or empty, depending on how you look at it,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a certified sex and couples therapist and author of The New Monogamy. “Expanding it to include those who are younger can widen the possibilities of potential partners.” You know a woman needs her options.

Clueless when it comes to modern dating? Everyone is—but you don't have to be.

So if you’re eyeing a guy or gal who graduated college years after you, here’s what to know before going on dating a guy 5 years younger first (or second! or third!) date:

1. You need clarity on what you’re looking for.

First order of business: What do you want from this relationship?

If you just want to date around, hook up and have fun, that’s great. If you want to settle down and have kids with your next partner, that’s great, too. Just get that straight before jumping into the youthful (or any, really) dating pool.

“When it comes to dating someone younger, you want to be thinking about whether your future goals align,” says Amanda Berry, LMFT, a psychotherapist in Chicago.

This also means having clarity on what you need from a relationship. Maybe you need to open up emotionally, a partner you vibe with sexually, or maybe you want a good travel buddy (or all of the above).

Regardless, don't be afraid to be honest about it—the only person you'd be hurting by covering that ish up is you.

2. They might not be as emotionally mature as you.

To put it nicely, some people, guys especially, have a lot of kinks to work out in the maturity arena. If you’re thinking about taking things with a younger man beyond a casual fling, get an early gauge on whether he can take accountability for his actions.

If their a little lacking in relationship history, no worries.but keep in mind that they may not be as adept at communicating their feelings or working through issues in a truly adult way.

That said, it’s okay if the younger person, understandably, has room to grow (don’t we all), but Paulette Sherman, PhD, psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out, says to also avoid creating an uneven power dynamic, where you’re the one always calling the shots.

“It's important that you do not feel like you are becoming your partner’s parent or therapist, because that isn’t sexy,” she says. I mean.noted.

3. You might be in different life stages.

Duh—you were born in way different years, or in some cases, decades. But expect to feel a new dynamic with your young date compared with the one you might experience with whom you usually go for.

To get a better grasp on how mismatched you might be in this aspect, think about what the vibe would be like hanging out with his friend group. Does the idea make you cringe—because it'd feel like sophomore year of college? Remember that.

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While age alone doesn’t tell you how old school dating shows along a person is in life, chances are you have way different experiences and dating history.

“Is that going to create a power differential, if she’s more successful and more settled in her career?” says Jacqueline Schatz, a psychotherapist and dating and relationship expert. Answer: It could.

If you're interested in a long-term relationship and not just fun sex (no shame if you aren't!), it’s not a bad idea to chat about where you’re both at in life and how you’ll fit into each other’s. Ask them where they see themselves in the next two years—versus the five or 10 you might ask an older prospect, dating a guy 5 years younger.

4. Everyone has baggage—even the young heartthrob.

Since things that come up intensely in relationships stem from our childhood, the younger person you want to date isn’t off the hook when it comes to baggage, Schatz says. Sure, you might be a hot divorcee with ex-husband beef, but the younger person has sh*t of their own, too.

One difference though, she says, is that “the older person might have had more time to work through some of the things that were hard for them.” Oh yeah, dating a guy 5 years younger, this is a good time to plug something that should be a universal truth: Whatever your age, do dating a guy 5 years younger a favor and go to therapy.

5. Commitment might mean different things to you two.

Ah, the “C” word. Break out in hives yet? How you define commitment might be how a younger mate sees a fling. Or vice versa.

“You may be at different places when it comes to the stages of dating,” says Berry. You might just want to have fun and date around, but Young, Hot Eligible Bachelor or Bachelorette might want to start settling down. Or you could be the one who is ready for rings and babies while they're.not.

The important part, she says, is to find where you guys align, and put a definition to it. They may not know what they want for their future yet, but if you can agree on a present, that's half the battle.

6. You don’t have to be the same, but you need to have things in common.

“Sex can’t be your only hobby,” says Nelson. (Okay, fiiine.)

More specifically: “I think the larger the age gap, the harder it is to have things in common,” Schatz says. “Even simple things like references to pop culture are going to be different.” Ever been around your or a dating a guy 5 years younger younger sister and been very confused? Yep, that.

Granted, this isn’t the end of the world. People bring different things to the relationship (positive aspects only, please—LOL), but you do want to be able to relate to your younger beau. Otherwise, it's going to be very hard to ever see them as an equal.

The main thing to consider is whether they can accept and support the core dating a guy 5 years younger that are important to you in a relationship, Sherman says. The other stuff—those moments you preface with “I’m really going to show my age here”—can get sorted later over a bottle of wine.

7. You should ask yourself how you feel when you’re with this person.

If you struggle with confidence, dating someone younger could bring up feelings of insecurity, dating a guy 5 years younger, notes Schatz. You want to feel empowered in the dating game, so ask yourself if you feel good when you’re with the young buck and genuinely excited to spend more time with them.

Dating someone younger can be rejuvenating and ignite an exciting spark that’s been bogged down by past drama. And you’re probably so over that. Be open and flexible (literally and emotionally) to new experiences: Think cramming into a tiny music venue one night and exploring a new pocket of the city the next.

If the connection is right, age won’t define your relationship. It will become just another number in the numbers game that is this crazy world of modern dating.

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Haters gonna hate.

Commitment issues.

It could be too much, too fast.

Keep your mouth shut sometimes.

You might not like their friends.

Sex will be great. Or terrible.

You realize you’re kinda old.

Dating a man 20 years younger than me

6 Things to Consider Before Dating a Younger Man

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Is dating a guy 5 years younger weird

I'm 35 & My Boyfriend Is 25. Surprisingly, It Works.

I definitely wasn't searching for a younger man. If anything, I was questioning whether I should raise the age limit on my dating apps from 28 to 30. See, I’ve always dated younger, but consistently found that age, well, MATTERED. I repeatedly got my heart broken by guys three, four, five years younger than me, and was getting pretty sick of it, to be honest.

But then, Paul Mescal was in town.

Paul (we’re on first-name terms) for those who didn’t binge Normal People in lockdown, dating a guy 5 years younger, was the hot Irish star of the wildly popular romantic drama series. He was in Sydney to film, as every celebrity seems to be in 2021, and had been spotted in my area many times. Then, I heard rumours he was on the dating apps - and matching with people.

I was hell-bent on finding him, so I Googled his age. TWENTY. FOUR. Yikes. Still, I lowered my limit to 24 and got swiping. I didn’t find a Paul Mescal but I did find a Tom, 25, who was cute, loved dogs, and had the kind of app-banter I loved. 

After a few days, he asked me out. I was surprised - I’m 35. Why would a 25-year-old want to go on a date with me? 

Now, you can probably tell that I write about my love life a lot, and I also have a dating podcast, Jeans and a Nice Top. So I went out with Tom, primarily for “the story”. Whatever happened, dating a guy ten years younger than me would definitely be *a story*.

We went for drinks at a local bar, then ended up at dinner at a cheap Italian spot. Conversation flowed and he made me laugh. It wasn’t the most magical date of all time, but it was pretty special and I knew I’d want to see him again.

Flash-forward seven months and we’re in love. It’s been the easiest relationship I’ve ever been in - we’re yet to have a serious fight, but I also know when we do, Tom won’t freak out and run away like many men I’ve dated have done. He’s supportive and constructive with his advice on everything from complex work stresses to friendship problems. He can handle my relationship anxieties. He makes me laugh, and I can be myself around him. It's just easy, and I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in a relationship.

Surprised? Same. I didn’t expect dating a younger man to work, particularly given our respective ages. Putting it simply, I figured we would be in different stages of life - far too different to be compatible. But, save for a few serious conversations which I’ll detail below, it’s been smooth sailing.

I do think, if you’re venturing into an older woman/younger man relationship, gay free dating site worth having a few chats prior to getting serious, and asking yourselves some questions. Here were ours.

1. Do you both want kids, and if so, when?

By far the most pressing issue for me with this relationship was the Baby Chat. I’m 35, and I’m still not 100% sure I want kids, but I’m leaning towards yes. Because of that, I’m aware that I should be taking the next few years seriously, as the window in which I’ll likely need to start trying for a baby.

When I was 25 I definitely didn’t want kids. But I’m not Tom, and as he said to me when I blurted out that we couldn’t possibly work because why would he want a baby before he’s 30 - “why are you assuming you know what I want?”

In short - don’t preempt your younger partners wants and needs. Just raise it with them, and make sure you’re on the same page. 

2. Do you fit into each other’s social circles?

Another issue some older women with younger men (or younger partners in general) may face is friendship circles. I have a core group of friends and they mean a lot to me, so it therefore means a lot to me that my partner gets along with them. 

You may find that the interests of your respective friendship groups differ. In my case, Tom’s friends enjoy the same stuff my friends do - going to the pub and sometimes having a house party. But if, say, he and his friends were still club rats or big on festivals, that would be fine - as long as I could happily compromise from time to time and enjoy those interests, dating a guy 5 years younger, too.

You don’t need to have friendship circles that could seamlessly merge, but you do have to assess if you can feasibly enjoy time in your partner’s circle, at least sometimes.

3. Are you on the same page?

This is a question for ANY new relationship, but I felt it was particularly pertinent given I was dating a 25-year-old. Basically - do you want something serious? Do they? There are no wrong answers here, but you don’t want to be assuming things are getting serious.

Dating culture in 2021 is very, very complex and there are many relationships without labels or commitments. It’s likely their dating culture is a bit more casual than yours, so it’s worth checking. I know that’s a stereotype and if Tom reads this, he’ll totally yell at me for it because he got super annoyed when I assumed he wanted a casual fling. But hey, you’ve gotta protect yourself! Just check in before you get too invested.

4. Can you get past what people will say?

My GOD, you get some opinions when you date a younger man. They will, dating a guy 5 years younger, too - both Tom and I have been met with raised eyebrows, words of concern and doubt about our relationship. Most people have been open-minded and happy for us, but you have to be prepared for some of your nearest and dearest being. not so happy for you. 

The main concern is that you won't work, because the age gap is too wide. But that's really for you to decide. I can imagine there are numerous 25-year-olds I could never date, but Tom and I just. work. 

At the end of the day, it's your life. If you're feeling it, go for it.