Wondering how to create a perfect dating site username? Looking for user name ideas? 

One of the first steps to creating a dating profile is coming up with a perfect dating site username and a well crafted bio or tagline. But what username can help you stand out in the online dating world? Although you may be thinking that a selection of killer selfies is your top priority when it comes to attracting high-value women in the online dating world, creating the perfect dating site username is more important than you think. And creating one that is blasé, or — even worse — offensive, can cause women to swipe right past you.

Hey guys, it’s Emyli — America’s dating coach and your go-to guru for online dating strategy. During my initial sessions with clients, I always recommend downloading several dating apps, because they’ve become such a mainstream part of the dating world. I also recommend that my clients use a variety of dating websites as well. 

Long gone are the days where online dating sites and apps are considered taboo (here’s a full list of free dating sites and apps you can download). They now have become a pleasing alternative to meeting people at crowded bars, by chance, or in the produce section of the grocery store.

Nowadays, a majority of singles are using digital dating methods to their advantage in order to get more experience in the dating world, to improve their self-esteem, and — ultimately — to find the partner of their dreams. 

But with popularity comes competition, particularly for men who use online dating to find a girlfriend. 

Back when sites like POF, OkCupid, Match.com, and eHarmony comprised a majority of the online dating landscape, usernames may not have gotten as much attention. The aforementioned sites also required a lot more profile information, which occupied more time than thinking up a great username.

Once apps took over, the need to write a lengthy profile listing your various interests and background diminished. The mobile age requires you to grab a woman’s attention fast, and your username is one tool you can use to stand out and get more matches.

Still, it can be easy to overlook the importance of creating a perfect dating site username. After all, aren’t girls mostly paying attention to the guys’ pictures? Don’t get me wrong, pictures are one of the top things you need to be concerned about when creating an online dating profile, particularly with apps like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble, where profile descriptions are extremely brief. 

But along with a great image, your username is one of the first things a woman scrolling through profiles will see. You want to grab a woman’s attention FAST, the perfect dating site username is a way to do so.

I get so many inquiries asking “what’s the perfect username?” or “can you recommend a good dating username idea, and why is it important?” And that’s why I created this post! 

Take a look at the following tips to help you come up with the perfect dating site username, get more matches on dating sites and apps, and enjoy more success (and FUN) in your dating life. 

How to Create a Perfect Dating Site Username 

Tip #1: Use Your Wit to Reel Her In

Women love a man with a sense of humor, and a username is a perfect way to use your wit in order to instantly grab her attention. According to findings published in the journal, Evidence-Based Medicine, “Playful screennames (eg, Fun2bwith) are universally attractive.” 

And make sure that you showcase wit without trying to be too obvious. For example, choosing a username like IAmaSuperFunnyGuy13 isn’t really the best choice. Show you’re funny and playful rather than stating a fact.

Let’s say your name is Mike. Instead of choosing names such as Mike6278931 (it’s a lot of numbers because, in this hypothetical scenario, I’m guessing you are FAR from the first Mike who has signed up for a dating site) or MyNameisMike18, you could pick something like Mike_Drop or Pass_the_Mike. 

The aforementioned also mentioned that people were more likely to get noticed when choosing usernames that focused on stature and — interestingly enough — stuck to the beginning of the alphabet.

Tip #2: Stick to the Beginning of the Alphabet

The researchers found that people responded more to usernames that used letters at the beginning of the alphabet. For example, a username like Ahhh_mazing or BestBoyfriendEver may result in more matches and messages than something like ZebrasHaveStripes or WhataGreatGuyIam.

Sorry to anyone reading this who happens to be named Wayne, Xavier or Zach…

Tip #3: Show Off Your Strength

The same study posits that you should not include words that will inadvertently signal inferiority, such as LittleMan, Smallsy, or ShyGuy. 

Now, when it comes to showing off your strength, I’m definitely not a fan of arrogance (i.e., something like ImSwollAF82 or BigBeefyManDude), so utilize humor in showcasing your strength.

For example, if you’re a Will Ferrel fan, you can choose a name like Kinda_A_Big_Deal and put a link to a funny clip in your profile, like this one. 

Tip #4: Show Off Your Intellect

Are you a sapiosexual? Or, are you a super smart guy looking to attract a sapiosexual? 

Sapiosexuals — people who find intelligence attractive and/or sexually arousing — are anything but uncommon. In a study, researchers from the University of Western Australia (UWA) found that an estimated 1 in 10 people consider intelligence to be the most attractive feature a partner can have.  And this preference seems to take some precedence when it comes to the online dating world, as far as picking the perfect dating username is concerned.

According to a study published in the International Journal of Internet Science, women tend to prefer men who have dating site usernames that show they are intelligent. If you’re a sapiosexual looking to impress a girl with smarts, don’t shy away from infusing some elements in your username that will make women want to talk nerdy to you. 

Tip #5: Consider Incorporating Some of these Keywords

The research team at Zoosk conducted a thorough examination of 430,000 of the site’s online dating profiles (WOW) to determine the top 10 words that appeared in the profiles’ usernames. The top 10 words included:

• Love
• Guy
• Girl
• Fun
• Looking
• Life
• Good
• Sweet
• Real
• Sexy

Tip #6: Avoid A Username That Could Potentially Be Offensive

Don’t get overly sexual or aggressive in your username, even if you’re doing it as a joke. 

For example, if you’re an ophthalmologist, something like SexyAndEyeKnowIt is flirty but fun, and not offensive. Conversely, something like SexyAndGreatinBed, or CanIBendUOver are 100% TERRIBLE and should never be used under any circumstances.

Basically, use your common sense. If you think someone might be offended by your username, pass on it and think up something else.

If you’re having trouble coming up with something clever, here are a few examples to help you get started. 

If You’re Athletic

• GuyontheRun
• GymPizzaRat
• JumpingJack (this one works if you’re name is Jack)
• Weighting4You

If You’re Nerdy

• FunGi 
• Four_Eyes_4_U
• SmarT
• TalkNerdytoMe

If You’re a Cook or a Foodie

• ThaiOneOn
• SoSousMe (if you’re a sous chef)
• SweetNSavory
• I_Will_Cook_For_You (this is one case where it’s ok to NOT be creative)

Tip #7: Stay True to Yourself

Above all else, it’s important to stay true to yourself and choose a username that appropriately showcases your personality. Don’t pick something simply because you think it will make you seem more attractive (i.e., SexySixPack4You). 

Think of choosing a dating site username in a similar way to choosing a tattoo. Obviously, a dating site username is going to be WAY less serious, less painful (I hate needles 🙁 ), less permanent and WAY less expensive. But the principle of picking something that really speaks to who you are is kind of the same.

Tip #8: Get a Dating Coach to Help You

Still not getting the success you want from dating? Maybe it’s not your dating site username, but something else? Don’t worry I can help!

If you would like to get more matches on dating sites and apps, meet more attractive women, stay OUT of the friend-zone, and eventually snag the woman of your dreams, head over to my calendar page. Book a 1-on-1 Zoom session with me today. During our session, we will discuss your dating roadblocks, goals, and create an action plan to help you achieve those goals.

As far as online dating goes, we can talk about strategies to help you get a username, and also how to handle things like:

How to respond to the first message from a woman online

• How to create not only a perfect dating site username but a perfect profile to help you attract more women
• Should you list your height, weight, or real name on your profiles?
• How to navigate different online dating sites and how to choose the best sites/apps for your personality and goals

But my coaching sessions involve much more than dating via the interwebs.

I can provide you with expert insights into the dating world, both online and offline. I know, because I’ve been there. During my undergraduate studies at UC Berkley, I embarked on a 100-date experiment, where I went on over 100 dates in a year to understand the intricacies of the dating world. The strategy I used is called Megadating, which involves dating several people at once in order to increase confidence, diffuse energy, and ultimately find someone you can have a committed relationship with.

Not only did this strategy help me find love, but I came out of the experience with an arsenal of information and a career as a dating coach. 

You know the old saying about first impressions, and how you only get one chance to make them?

That goes triple for online dating.

You can have the most handsome, photogenic dating photo in the world, but tacking a horrible username on it has roughly the same effect as that iceberg had on the Titanic.

Never sabotage your amazing profile with a weak username.

Exclusive Bonus: Want to steal one of our top-performing bios? Download our top 10 proven profiles right now so you can get more matches and date higher quality women. (It’s free!)

Sure, having the perfect name on your profile never outright guarantees success. But a sexy username that really stands out will give you a big head start in the right direction.

Keep reading for the top username mistakes men make and everything you need to know to choose one that gets more women writing you. You’ll even be spoon-fed 26 examples of good usernames for dating sites like Match.com, POF and MillionaireMatch just for reading until the end.

Ready for your online dating profile to attract more women? Let’s get started…

Your Username = Your Brand.

Some sites feature your username right next to your photo in her search results. A POF username, for instance, is impossible to miss:

That means what you choose to call yourself gets all wrapped up with your appearance when she’s deciding whether to respond to you.

And chances are she’ll make that decision within 3 seconds (usually much faster), because that’s how quickly first impressions can be formed. Those lightning-quick snap judgments are thanks to a process called “thin slicing”, the process by which people subconsciously use little tidbits of information to rapidly form an accurate judgment of someone else.

Which is basically the entire premise of online dating, right? That’s exactly why first impressions might be your only chance.

Unless you’re as attractive as Channing Tatum, a negative, juvenile, or off-putting username will have her “nexting” you instantly.

To put it in perspective, pretend you're a young, hot woman (you know, the kind you want to date). Now imagine 100 messages coming into your inbox each day. Are you even going to click on the one from “four20wannafook”? Neither is she.

Having a strong, sexy username will get you more responses period. And the last thing you want is a username that repels women.

Now let’s talk about the 3 most common mistakes guys make with their usernames, how to fix them (with examples).

Mistake #1 – Reeking Of Desperation

“I’m looking for a clingy, lonely guy – the more desperate the better,” said no one woman ever.

And yet that’s exactly the image usernames like “LifetimeLove4U”, “fit4another” and “lookin2committ” project.

When you make your username about her, it gives the impression you don’t have anything positive to highlight about yourself.

What To Do Instead: Radiate Male Confidence

Most women want to date someone happy, vibrant, and fun to hang out with. Pretty much everyone has baggage and prior failed relationships, but leave all that sad sack stuff out of your profile.

Confidence is sexy, so make sure your username advertises that you’ve got it. Use strong words to subconsciously convey that you’re a damn good catch. For example:

If you go really Alpha with your username (i.e. TheWarriorWithin), be careful it doesn’t make you sound like some arrogant jerk or someone who’s “trying too hard.” If you’re not sure how it makes you sound, you can always ask a few friends what they think. Female friends, ideally. (Or you could just hire VIDA to do it all for you.)

Mistake #2 – Making Her Cringe

Usernames pack a lot of wallop into ~16 characters or less. Cringe-worthy ones are kind of like an earthquake – they can do a lot of damage in a very short amount of time.

File this under obvious, but stay away from violent words when picking a name. Online dating is scary enough for a woman, don't creep her out before you've even messaged her.

You also don't want to sound like all you think about is getting laid, so nix the sexual references. That means nothing with the numbers “69” in it, references to rides on either a bologney pony or a mustache, and basically anything else a 7th grade boy would find amusing. Funny usernames work great, but only if she thinks they’re as funny as you do.

What To Do Instead: Excite Her Imagination

Instead of making her shudder and move on, choose a username that implies that exciting times lie ahead. Women love adventure, so you could to come up with an adventurous username, like one of these:

Mistake #3 – Boring Her Off Her A$$

Nothing about a random string of numbers and letters, like “DR42785”, communicates that you have brains and creativity to spare. Neither does tacking a few numbers on before or after your name, or mentioning the city where you both probably live.

In the crowded online dating arena, boring is the kiss of death. Remember, you’re trying to catch her eye as she scans through an inbox crammed with messages from tons of hopeful men. If your username doesn’t spark her interest, why would she want to read your opening line?

What To Do Instead: Intrigue Her With a Catchy Username

A dash of mystery helps you stand out of the crowd. So does showing a bit of creativity, or a flair for the dramatic. Both of these qualities intrigue women. Showcase them with a catchy username like one of these:

Or maybe you have a unique or interesting hobby. Spark her curiosity about your hidden talents with a username like one these:

Of course, chances are these username examples are already taken. Although being the first is ideal, can always add special characters like “_.”

For example, GetAwayDriver could become Get_Away_Driver or even Get_Away_Driver_. You could also change a letter “O” to a number “0” so IfYouOnlyKnew could become IfYou0nlyKnew.

How To Create A Sexy Username

Here’s the bottom line: You want a username that inspires, informs, and intrigues her. But easier said than done, right?

Here is a quick writing exercise that will help you generate some ideas. Grab a pen and paper and let’s get started.

First, write down some words associated with your occupation. For instance, if you’re an IT guy, your list of words might look like this:

Next, think of the hobbies and activities that you enjoy, and jot down some powerful words associated with them. There are no wrong answers, and the longer list you generate, the more literary gold you’ll have to build a username with.

Finally, write down some words you think sound interesting. As with the other lists, write down what comes to mind. You can cross things off later, right now you’re trying to get as much source material as possible.

Inspiration could come from anywhere, from your favorite spices to the jeans you’re wearing:

You’ll end up with three lists that are a treasure trove of username ideas. Play with different word combinations until you get one that sounds awesome.

For instance, the short lists above generate all these attractive sounding prospects:

The longer your lists, the more options you’ll have. Thesaurus.com and RhymeZone.com are both great sources of inspiration, by the way. And before you start thinking rhyming is just for kids, a recent study found that rhyming poetry has “an instinctive appeal”.

Remember, increasing your response rate is the ultimate goal and piquing her curiosity about you helps ensure she'll respond to your opening message.

Use Science To Your Advantage

When it comes to matters of love and attraction, biology is a force to be reckoned with. Researchers have found that women are hardwired to find certain things attractive. Sound like data you could use to make your username more attractive?

Here are 5 scientifically proven facts that will help you write a username she’s powerless to resist:

Starting to see why so many guys default to something lame like “CubsFan92”?

But you’ll be glad you put in the effort to create a strong username when more attractive women start responding to your messages.

Let's recap with a username DOs/DONT’S list:

DO:

• Use strong, interesting words to capture her imagination.
• Choose a name that tells her something about you, and makes her want to know more.
• Borrow a page from Darwin’s playbook and highlight alpha male traits.
• Be creative and original. If you have to resort to special characters to make it work, come up with something else.
• Put some effort into it so you get it right from the start. (On some sites, you can only change it if you have a paid subscription!)

DON'T:

• Include sexual, creepy, or violent words.
• Use boring words that make her think you're lazy and/or unimaginative.
• Be negative. It’s an instant mood killer.
• Make your username about her. Names like “Searching4The1” make you sound desperate.
• Forget that you’re trying to catch the eye of attractive women. Save the juvenile humor for the locker room.

Of course, nailing your username is just the tip of the online dating iceberg. If you want to meet the best local women, your profile, photos, and icebreaker messages all need to crush the competition.

You could check out our Ultimate Guide To Online Dating For Guys and spend hours applying all that expert advice to your own profile. But why go through all that effort, when you could get even better results without doing any work at all?

Put our team of online dating experts to work for you. You’ll get more than just a killer username – you’ll get an expertly-crafted dating profile that gets proven results. Even better, we’ll handle all the back-and-forth messaging for you, so all you have to do is show up for all the dates!

If you’re ready to capture women’s attention online, get them responding to your messages, and eventually meet your ideal woman, then what are you waiting for? Click here to learn more.

Matthew Valentines

Personal Dating Assistant at Personal Dating Assistants

Matthew Valentines is an online dating concierge, and executive director at Personal Dating Assistants.

An attraction technologist at heart, he travels the world in search of beautiful women, new ways to help men with their online dating, and the perfect single malt whiskey.

His column runs Tuesdays.

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